


Hazy Shade of Winter

by lantia4ever



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, BAMF Bucky Barnes, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Canon Divergence - Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Dealing with PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Iron Man 1 AU a bit, M/M, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Obadiah Stane is Alive, Pepper is dead, Pierce is Alive, Pietro is alive, Protective Tony Stark, Really Not Steve friendly, Slow Burn, Team Dynamics, Winter, Winter changes things up a bit, he's not Bucky, not team Cap friendly, not the Soldier either
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-03-27 01:57:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 45,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13870674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lantia4ever/pseuds/lantia4ever
Summary: After disobeying orders one too many times, HYDRA goes a little too far and brainwashes and tortures the Winter Soldier and Bucky Barnes to death. From what little remains of the two personalities - a third is born. One that is neither the Soldier or Barnes.One that just...is.For years to come, the Asset does what it's told in order to survive. Waiting for the right moment to make his move. To have revenge against his captors and tormentors.And with Project Insight, his chance has just arrived.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! 
> 
> It's Sunday (my favorite fic time, in case anyone was still wondering) and I'm thinking it's time to embark on yet another crazy WinterIron ride. And I'm taking y'all with me! ^^  
> And this has been in the making for a LONG time. I did a lot of rewatching Age of Ultron back in the days when it was the only (movie) Vision character reference there was and my severely mangled brain pondered his existence and thought: huh, let's use this with Bucky, he won't mind. So yeah, I have killed Bucky and the Soldier both and...now there's just Winter.  
> Seriously though, no take-backsies. Bucky isn't coming back. And if you find that hard to believe, then just wait till one Steve Rogers receives the news.  
> Among other freedoms I'm taking with this fic is one very much alive Obadiah Stane. I hate him so much I couldn't resist keeping him alive. Details on how that happened and why the heck is Pepper dead will be revealed in time ^^ Just consider the entire Iron Man movies story-line altered for my typically evil purposes.  
> Oh and it's in thrid person. Which I actually kinda struggle with so...bear with me? <3
> 
> Anyway, here's the prologue to what is already turning into a monster fic full of canon divergent events, a lot of love and hurt for both Tony and Winter and...oh yeah, me and Steve are still not friends so, no love for him or his team, so be ready for that. 
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments! ^^ 
> 
> Oh and in case tumblr is your thing, I've recently reworked mine a little and will be keeping it updated with all my fics info (on top of rebloggin' some of my WI favorites...and WI everything, pretty much :3). [Here's the link.](http://lantia.tumblr.com)
> 
> Enjoy! <3

**_[Time, time, time...see what's become of me, as I looked around at my possibilities](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkZ0x3LuH6A) _ **

_~Hazy Shade of Winter by Hidden Citizens_

 

* * *

 

 

“I assure you, Sir, that you will be impressed by our results with this subject,” the agent says, leading him through the underground maze of tunnels.

Alexander Pierce isn’t easily impressed.

The least of all by something that has objectively caused HYDRA more pain than any other project in history of their existence. His predecessors insisted that the gain was substantial and warranted all the obstacles and troubles involved, but he’s a pragmatic man. If the Winter Soldier project was such a success, HYDRA wouldn’t still be hiding away in the shadows, barely managing to stay relevant.

“I wasn’t impressed by the results of the other subjects, that’s for sure” he scoffs, recalling the file he’s been given when first offered this position.

The project was supposed to be a milestone in HYDRA’s research into the supersoldier serum. It should have given them an army of soldiers that would heed their every order and destroy their enemies with efficiency and discretion. Instead, it gave them an army of enhanced but malfunctioning soldiers – volatile, uncontrollable. Useless.

All but one.

“Here we are,” the agent steps into a room, guarded only by two other agents, filled with simple set of furniture and a few engineering tables and chairs, used to…maintain the subject. Speaking of the subject, the man sits on the simple bed, completely unrestrained, unfazed by their arrival. “We used to have a routine set up to gain control over the Soldier – a sequence of different words and sentences that were _programmed_ into him, to give him orders that way. But since the project was declared a success, there’s no need for it anymore. The Soldier will obey his Handlers without questions.”

He can’t resist the quiet laugh at the agent’s expense. He’s spent a lot of time studying the files – especially Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes’s file. The man was everything HYDRA could wish for in a soldier and at the same time everything they should have stayed away from. He was trouble. Not just because his best friend was… _is_ Captain America - HYDRA’s ongoing nightmare, no. Barnes was bad news even before that little Brooklyn kid became a ton worth of muscles and decided to go on a rampage against Nazis.

Barnes’s military set of skills was why HYDRA targeted him for the project in the first place – completely disregarding his character. He wasn’t just a patriot; he was a man ready to die for a cause no greater than protecting people that couldn’t protect themselves. He was built on pillars of integrity, loyalty and discipline; his moral compass never going south. He enjoyed life – as much as only a man born in the Great Depression could – taking in everything it had to offer. The parties, the alcohol, the girls. But at the beginning of the line, there was always duty.

That sort of man is not someone easily broken or corrupted.

HYDRA should have known better; should have left him in the mountains to die, forget all about the project and never look back. But with Zola’s ambition there was no such thing as abandoning projects. So the organization spent well over fifty years trying to break the man, to shape him into the perfect weapon they needed so much. Fifty years. And they still failed.

Barnes wouldn’t break. He wouldn’t give up fighting. No matter what pain they caused him, no matter how harsh their programming methods got – he never stopped rebelling against their captors and tormentors.

And in the end, Barnes won.

The man – if that word even still applies – sitting on the bed here, that’s not Barnes. It’s not even ‘what’s left of him’ as some would say. Because there’s nothing left. At one point, he almost managed to escape HYDRA, spending weeks on the run. And when they dragged him back to one of these bases, kicking and screaming, they punished him the same way as always – in the Chair. They would torture him first. Wipe him next. And then freeze him to use later. But that time was different.

They took their time torturing him. And when it didn’t have the effect they wanted, they wiped him. Once. Twice. Ten times, a hundred. Until they lost count. In other words, they killed James Barnes. So in a way, the man managed to escape his predicament. Now _that_ was impressive in Pierce’s opinion.

Instead of Barnes, HYDRA suddenly had their hands full of the weaponized personality it’s been trying to create the entire time – the Winter Soldier. The obedient, nearly robotic presence that now occupies Barnes’s former body is what they call a success. No wonder HYDRA keeps scraping the bottom of the honey pot if they have to slowly kill a man – in a span of over fifty years – because they can’t break him. Ridiculous.

His little agent escort would tell him how amazing the Soldier’s results have been since getting rid of the original personality, how his every mission was a complete success and how he is the key to HYDRA’s future…and Pierce could agree with him. But a pragmatic man can’t bet the future of the entire empire onto one questionably loyal soldier, no matter how useful he’s become.

“Let me be clear, agent Radov. Project Insight isn’t our endgame. It’s the beginning. The first move, to clear the path for HYDRA and kickstart its future. If this subject as you call him fails even one little part of his mission, that future could be seriously compromised.”

“I understand - ”

“No. No you don’t. We did our best in the past decades. To stay in the shadows, to infiltrate, grow and fester everywhere we needed to. The Governments, armies, secret services, organizations and societies, the internet…and then we made one little mistake. Just one, single mistake that caused us our momentum.”

Radov frowns, his plastered professional smile cracking at the edges.

“See? You don’t understand,” he smirks a little and walks over to the Soldier with careful steps. “We thought we had everything we needed to take over the world. We thought the only thing standing in our way was Howard Stark - another man we could never break, no matter how questionable his morals were. With him out of the way, we thought puppeting his prodigal son would be enough and when it was clear that it wouldn’t, somebody somewhere thought kidnapping him and forcing him to build weapons would be a better idea than killing the man. One. Tiny. Mistake,” he spits out, crouching to get to the Soldier’s level, looking him straight in his empty, unfocused eyes. “And instead of a drunken party animal slash occasional genius, we ended up with an almost responsible, moral and - of all things - _peace-seeking_ Iron fucking Man. And it went downhill from there. A demi-god, an immortal raging beast, the supersoldier that doesn’t know when to die and a set of perfectly trained SHIELD agents, one of which was trained by _us_ for HYDRA’s sake!”

“The Avengers,” Radov states the obvious.

“So what if we have agents all over the world, at every corner of every street that means something. So what if SHIELD is more HYDRA than SHIELD. If we have to face a team of _superheroes_ that casually defeated an alien invasion army the other day, our efforts have all been wasted. Compared to that team, HYDRA – even with all its heads – looks more like a fluffy plushie than a mighty beast. Let me be clear again, Radov. Project Insight is our one chance to turn the tables. And if I am to bet everything on this… _weapon_ …than you better give me more than just an over-hyped speech about his grand achievements.”

He hears the agent sneak to his right, just about visible in his peripheral vision. “Perhaps a preview would help your decision, Director?”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Attention, Soldier!” he barks at the so far aphetic man and Pierce quickly backs off as the Soldier jumps to life, springing to his feet and regarding them both with an expectant look. “Confirm identity of this man,” he points toward him.

“Alexander Pierce. Chief Director of SHIELD. One of HYDRA’s leaders. The Handler. Highest clearance.”

The agent nods, his eyes betraying an amused glint as he glances at him. “Give him an order. Anything you can think of. Even if you think it’s impossible. Give him an order and watch.”

Well, that should be interesting. “Highest clearance means that no matter what I tell him, he will do it?”

“Of course. Anything, that doesn’t involve targets of the same clearance.”

“That’s good to know,” he sighs and walks over to the Chair. It hasn’t been used on the Soldier since the glorious ‘success’, but they left it here anyway – a reminder, a threat of what would happen should the Soldier disobey. He sits down on the device as if it was a comfy armchair and holds the Soldier’s lingering gaze. “Do you have any weapons on you, Soldier?”

The Soldier doesn’t answer, just holds up his metal arm.

Right. He almost forgot. He bets Stark would have a field day with this one – if only HYDRA could ever recruit him. Unlikely. And impossible, once Project Insight is successful. Stark is better off dead.

Radov smirks, humming with content. “Seeing the arm in action is…quite mesmerizing. The Soldier knows how to use it, in any way you need him to.”

“Perfect! Well then, Soldier. Why don’t you show me how it works? Slowly. Precisely. In _copious detail_. Take this one apart for example,” he nods at Radov, who loses his shit-eating grin in milliseconds.

“What?! Wait - ”

 

 

For the next two or maybe three hours, the only thing coming out of the agent’s mouth are screams. That is, until the Soldier reaches into his mouth and throat and rips out his vocal cord in _quite the mesmerizing_ manner. The guards stationed outside don’t even dare to look over their shoulders.

The Soldier does exactly what he told him to – he picks the agent apart. Slowly. There’s no hesitation. No emotions on his face at all, positive or negative. His eyes are focused this time, but still empty and betray nothing.

He has to give it to Radov – the Winter Soldier definitely is the key to HYDRA’s future. A key he now has in his hands.

When the agent is nothing but ripped limbs, broken bones and dangling organs, Pierce gives the Soldier a slow clap and walks around the carnage. “See, _that_ I call a persuasive preview. Now, before I give you your big mission, give me an answer to just one, simple question.”

The Soldier regards him with his full attention, that he now has to admit is rather uncomfortable.

“If I ordered you to do the exact same thing to Captain America, to Steven Grant Rogers, would you do it?” he asks, secretly expecting a reaction from the Soldier. Spark of recognition, a flicker of emotion…anything at all that would betray the possible lingering presence of who James Barnes used to be. But there’s nothing.

The Soldier nods, features remaining impassive. “Affirmative. Captain America, threat level – very high. Elimination or capture recommended.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “That should be quite the reunion, let me tell you. I imagine the Captain would do anything to get you back. Well…get _him_ back. He might not even want to fight you at all. We’ll see,” he smirks and waves at the Soldier in a silent prompt to follow him.

 

* * *

 

 

“Bucky?!” his mission stares at him in shock and disbelieve.

He isn’t used to his missions talking to him. Shrieks of horror, fearful pleads and crying, yes. Some missions try to fight him back – like this one, but nobody called out to him. Not by a name. He has many names now, but Bucky is not one of them.  

“Who the hell is Bucky?” he glares at his mission with all his dangerous fierceness and something in the mission’s deceptively deep blue eyes breaks.

When he returns to his Handler that day he gives report of the unusual occurrence.

“He called you Bucky? I see. And how did that sound to you, Soldier? The name – Bucky. How did it sound?” his Handler – Alexander Pierce – asks him expectantly.

“It didn’t sound like anything to me,” he replies and his Handler is pleased to hear it.   

It’s the truth. He does have many names. Asset, Soldier, Weapon, Subject, Tool, Hey You – every Handler calls him differently. None ever called him Bucky.

Because he is not Bucky. Not anymore. Where there once was a strong, powerful presence of one James Bucky Barnes, there’s just emptiness. Filled only with the lonesome being that is him.

The man might not be there anymore, but that doesn’t mean some parts of him weren’t left behind in some way. He knows better than his Handlers. He knows his existence and how it came to be is not coincidental. James Barnes and the Winter Soldier suffered the same fate. They both succumbed to their Handler’s mistreatment. By the end of the torture, both Barnes and the Winter Soldier were gone. And there he was, created anew from shattered bits and pieces of the two of them. Not Barnes, not the Soldier.

Just _him_.

He is neither the soldier from the 40’s, nor the mindless weapon HYDRA created. His memories are a haze of images that he doesn’t really recognize; they’re a faded shadow of the past that doesn’t belong to him and at the same time makes him who he is. He is confused about that more often than not, but what he is most certainly not confused about is HYDRA.

The Winter Soldier would never question given orders. He wouldn’t question the good or the evil of his Handlers’ doing. For him it was simple. Disobey – go in the Chair. Fail a mission – go in the Chair. Ask a question – go in the Chair. Look the wrong way at someone – go in the Chair. Not do anything wrong at all – still go in the Chair if the Handler feels like it. His life was a cycle of missions and punishments. The only bright part of it would be Barnes and his constant fight against the power. His actions always ended with the two of them getting punished, but there was something…oddly satisfying about watching the rebellious soldier spit in the face of his Handlers – metaphorically, but also actually, physically spit in their faces.

Both their sides of the story shaped him into who he is. They taught him what to do and say to survive. To avoid punishment. To earn his Handlers’ trust. And just like HYDRA has been hiding in the midst of its enemies, slithering through the shadows and waiting for an opportunity to get the upper hand, he’s been doing the exact same thing right here. Playing the obedient _Asset_ that has no name, no opinions, no thoughts at all – just orders and missions. Nothing else. While in reality, he’s been waiting this entire time as well.

And so, his current Handler couldn’t be more wrong if he believes that he is going to be the key to HYDRA’s future. HYDRA has no future. If it’s the last thing he’ll do, he will try to cut every last remaining head off of the beast. Just like they erased Barnes and the Soldier from existence, he’s going to erase them in return.

He knows he can’t do it alone. The beast is spread all over the world like a disease and once he breaks away from it, they will never stop hunting him down. And he prefers to be the hunter – like the Soldier was. And to be that, he needs a team of people that will share his goal and have his back when things go wrong – like Barnes would have it. That’s what he’s been waiting for. Someone capable and willing to stand up to HYDRA.

And after today, his wait might finally be over.

Pierce leaves him alone in his haunting cellar room when he’s satisfied with his report and usually he would lay down for a few hours of dreaded, disturbed slumber. But his mission isn’t over. In fact, his real mission is just about to begin.

First phase – figure out how to make the Avengers willingly work with a known HYDRA assassin.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phase One - Contact

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! 
> 
> Firstly, I'd like to thank you all for your absolutely lovely comments and kudos! \o/ Made my day <3 And secondly, here's the promised first chapter so you can kickstart this week in the WinterIron spirit ;D 
> 
> Enjoy! <3
> 
> PS: ehhh...the Rich text editor keeps on disappearing on me here for some reason, so if anything looks funky it's probably because I suck with HTML :'D

Killing the squad of goons Pierce assigned him as his tac team – or rather his very own escort – is easy. They don’t see it coming.

Getting rid of the bodies and slipping into the night without a trace is almost routine afterwards. He’s been doing this for decades in the name of HYDRA and now that he’s doing it _to_ HYDRA, it’s not any different. He won’t settle for any less than perfect execution of the plan.

So he ditches the deadweight and the tracker he always knew was inside the metal arm’s shoulder and moves to phase two – contact.

He has to make contact with the Avengers before Project Insight is initiated. It will take HYDRA a while to notice he’s missing but once they do, it will be a race against time. Pierce will want to green-light the Project as soon as possible so he needs to be quick. And precise. One mistake and it’s over, just like Pierce said.

It all comes down to his choice of contact.

He could easily track down Captain America, who managed to once again slip through SHIELD’s fingers and escape along with his company, but that would take time. And it would take even more time for them to devise a plan to sabotage the Project. Captain America is a soldier. A tactician. His plan would likely include an attack against the helicarriers to somehow disable their weapons. It would be a sound plan, but it would take too long to prepare and execute. Too many variables. Too dangerous.

What he needs is a fast solution. Noninvasive. So Pierce and his HYDRA minions aren’t spooked into triggering the Project immediately and once they are it will be too late. He needs someone with the skills and brainpower to make a plan like that happen.

And he knows just the man and where to find him.

So he steals the first motorbike he comes across and speeds from Washington’s shady suburbs to Manhattan, New York.

Disregarding every single speed limit along the way, he makes it there in just little over two hours. It’s past dawn already and the city is slowly coming to life for yet another weekday so he runs a few extra red lights to evade the morning traffic.

New York feels familiar. He’s been here on missions before, he knows the layout by heart but he suspects the familiarity goes back to Barnes and the youth he’s spent in Brooklyn. He can recall some of the man’s memories and emotions but he doesn’t understand them very well. In the end, they are not his memories or emotions. Not really.

He skids to a halt a block away from his target, a recent addition to the city’s skyline – the Avengers Tower. He blends into the darkened alleys and half-runs to the Tower, deciding to try and gain entry from the ground-level vent system.

HYDRA’s intel on this building is not up to date at all. Mostly because SHIELD doesn’t have much intel on it either. The fact brings a tiny smirk to his normally stoic face, because it only further confirms he’s in the right place. Not trusting SHIELD with blueprints or details about security measures of this place is smart.

Because Tony Stark – the Iron Man – is a genius after all.

Paranoid, according to his Handlers and the extensive file HYDRA has on the man – but HYDRA describes everyone smart enough to keep things hidden from them as paranoid. By the same logic, he’d likely be paranoid as well. Tony Stark is not. His distrust has roots in experience. He’d be a fool to trust easily with the kind of history he has, if the files are to be taken seriously. And that’s exactly why he’s perfect for the first part of the mission.

He circles the building a few times and decides to scale two stories up into what looks like an AC output unit that could fit him. The access isn’t easy, but they don’t call him the most efficient assassin in the world because he takes on targets in easily accessible places. With a little help from nearby dumpsters and a handy rope, he latches onto the unit and with one swift, powerful tug he rips it off and slips inside.

In a way, he is disappointed not to hear any alarm go off. He’s expecting resistance. Stark is a tech genius, one that HYDRA would pay fortunes to have in their ranks instead of against them, so the lack of security so far is no less than disconcerting. It wouldn’t matter to him if he got caught – for the first time ever he’s not here to actually assassinate anyone, so the sooner he finds Stark or vice versa the better. Which is why he didn’t bother trying to cut the power or disable the security in the first place.

He drops down in the deserted looking fourth floor and walks through the hall to the elevator, carefully observing his surroundings. There are no cameras anywhere, at least not any he can see. No sounds of rushing feet, still no alarm…maybe the files were all wrong when it comes to Stark. And maybe he’s made a mistake by coming here.

With a frown, he summons the elevator with the single button and enters it without any resistance still. Only when it closes he sees there are no buttons there to designate which floor he wants to go to.

 _Voice-activated_ , he decides and looks around. No visible cameras or microphones…but there’s this unsettling feeling he only ever gets when being watched.

Not a mistake after all.

He smirks and backs against the wall, raising both hands in the most nonthreatening gesture he can think of – only knowing what one looks like from his countless victims that tried to no veil beg for their lives. “Take me to Tony Stark,” he says, not betraying anything with the tone of his voice. It takes a while, but suddenly the elevator starts moving upwards, fast. He quickly calculates the speed against the height of the high-rise and when it comes to a stop, he knows he’s on the very top floor.

The doors reveal a spacious interior of the penthouse – a large common area with sofas, a piano, bar and other entertainment features. The place is exposed far too much for his liking. It’s all windows and no walls. _Dangerous_. At the same time, it’s not like every other dreary HYDRA underground base, all dark, humid and suffocating. And that’s… _nice_.

He only makes it down the few steps leading from the hall into the room when he spots the flash of gold and crimson outside and halts his advance.

The Iron Man armor, in all its shining glory lands on the platform outside and walks towards him. He has read all the reports HYDRA has about Iron Man, even watched some tactical footage of the armor in action but seeing it for the first time up close is something else entirely. The Winter Soldier would describe it as intimidating. A threat. High-level threat, as HYDRA catalogued it. Barnes would be…amazed. And so there he stands in the middle of the room, staring at Iron Man unsure if he should be on alert or give into the awe.

There’s no time for either.

“I need your help,” he says, hands slightly raising again to show he has no weapons. No weapons that can be seen, that is.

The armor takes a few more steps forward, standing just few feet in front of him. “Yeah, sure. Let’s skip the introduction part and get straight to the point,” a distorted sort of voice speaks from within.

Good. The man doesn’t want to waste any time either. He likes him already. “HYDRA is going to kill millions of people within the next few hours. Including yourself and the Avengers. Help me stop it.”

“Wow.”

He freezes for a second before whirling around at the sound of the no longer muffled voice.

“I was kidding about the no introduction part, you know?”

He blinks, daring to flick his gaze between the still present armor behind him and the man of flesh and bones who somehow managed to sneak up on him.

 _Impressive_.

Stark frowns at the lack of any response and cocks his head to the side. Dressed in a greasy gray shirt and what seems to be pajama pants he doesn’t look like a threat, but he knows better than to underestimate someone. Especially someone who was capable of catching him off-guard. “JARVIS? Lil’ help here?”

“ _There are no records in any database that match his description, Sir_ ,” a new voice, coming out of the ceiling speaks up, startling him further. That must be whoever is monitoring the security system and let him ride the elevator up here.

“You don’t say,” Stark mumbles and narrows his eyes at him. “Alright, I’ll bite. HYDRA is about to kill a lot of people, that’s the story, right? Isn’t HYDRA supposed to be…I don’t know…gone? I distinctly remember a certain spangled Captain putting an end to that thing.”

“You cut off one head, another grows in its place,” he recites the common saying, because for once it is true.

“How? I mean how are they planning on killing so many people? They have some kinda weapon or something?”

He sighs, eying the now unmoving but still very much active armor standing behind him. “HYDRA is in control of SHIELD now. They will use the three helicarriers’ weapons arsenal and a targeting sequence to wipe all of their potential enemies so the organization can once again rise to power. That is the plan.”

Stark frowns, eyes full of suspicion. “Fury is in control of SHIELD. And if he’s HYDRA then hell, I am the Pope!”

“Fury is dead,” he states, wondering why Stark doesn’t know this already.

“Uhhh…no he’s not.”

“Fury is dead. Alexander Pierce is in charge now. He is one of HYDRA’s highest rank leaders.”

“And you know this _how_?”

He straightens his pose, face falling blank. “Because he gave me the mission to kill Fury.”

That captures Stark’s attention. He shakes his head a little, eyes closed before once again flying upward. “JARVIS?” he calls out to the security man.

“ _Sir_?”

“How long have I been in the workshop…exactly?”

“ _Sixty-four hours. If you count the thirty minutes you spent in the kitchen making coffee and toasts_.”

He nods and his expression loses a bit of composure just then. “Any reason you didn’t tell me there’s literal shit going down at SHIELD?! Fury is _dead_?! And that dodgy Pierce dude is in charge and he’s HYDRA?! No surprise there, he gives me the creeps but seriously, JARVIS. What the hell?!”

“ _It would appear my access to SHIELD’s grid has been…obscured. I can no longer fully access it and the status update I was receiving every hour must be stuck in a loop_.”

“Yeah, no shit! Glad you’re finding that out _now_!”

“ _My apologies, Sir. I will run a diagnosis to see how that happened_.”

“Yes, you do that. I’ll talk to Mr. HYDRA Assassin over here in the meantime,” he narrows his gaze back on him. “Who the hell _are_ you?! No offence, but I don’t usually deal with _HYDRA_ agents climbing through my vents to _warn_ me about HYDRA masterplans – which was crazy and impressive at the same time and also the only reason I even let you get this far by the way!”

“I am not a HYDRA agent,” he replies with a dark undertone.

“You just said you take orders from a HYDRA leader and that you killed Fury? How are you not HYDRA?”

“Would a HYDRA agent come _here_ to ask for _your_ help to foil a _HYDRA_ plot?” he shoots a question right back, tired of being interrogated. He understands Stark’s confusion and his need to get all the facts straight, but they are running out of time. He sighs, letting his tense posture slump. “I can explain everything to you after Project Insight is stopped. But right now, Pierce is expecting me to report at SHIELD HQ to set up defenses against Captain America and the Black Widow and when he finds out I’m not there and that the escort I had is stuffed in a dumpster where I left them dead, he will launch it immediately.”

Stark pierces him with a calculating stare and nods. “Okay. Stopping evil plots first, playing twenty questions later. But if Pierce can just start it anytime, why isn’t he doing it? What’s stopping him?”

“There’s a system routine created to fit the programming for the weapons containing all the targets. Pierce’s agent within SHIELD had to smuggle, install and test it before giving it a green light and Pierce wanted to add some names still. But if he feels the Project is threatened - ”

“He will go through with it anyway, yeah,” Stark finishes for him and schools his features into absolute seriousness. “JARVIS?”

“ _My attempts to use the backdoor we have set up to enter the system have so far been unsuccessful_.”

Stark smirks, eyes darkening. “J, our time as Backdoor Bandits is over. We’re now the Front-door Frenzies! Knock knock, motherfuckers,” he whispers with a chuckle and fishes out a phone out of his pocket. “You at least got a name?” he glances at him, while moving to the sofa, sitting down. “Calling you _weird not-HYDRA ninja assassin_ is a bit of a mouthful.”

He opens his mouth to answer but finds he doesn’t know what to say. He does have many names. The one Barnes had, then there’s the Winter Soldier…and then all those names his Handlers used to call him, that he really doesn’t want anyone to call him again. Which leaves him…nameless. “It’s complicated,” he says in the end.

“Your name is complicated? Is it Chinese or what?”

“No, it’s just…complicated.”

Stark looks up from the phone with an amused smile. “Complicated. Sums you up, huh? Anyway, let’s knock on some front doors, shall we?” he bounces on the sofa and shifts his focus on the phone and the security man he calls JARVIS. What exactly he’s up to is beyond his understanding. Surely he’s not hacking into SHIELD’s systems through his phone.

Few minutes later, he decides that’s really what Stark is doing and is once again torn between feeling threatened and being in awe. The empty Iron Man armor is still standing guard nearby, but for some reason he’s more on edge because of the living, breathing man than his metal suit. His Handlers always feared Barnes more than the Soldier’s ruthlessly wielded metal hand, too. Another thing on the growing list of things he doesn’t understand.

He remains unmoving on the spot, ignoring Stark’s eventual prompt to sit down, until the frantically working engineer relaxes on the sofa, the hand holding the phone falling into his lap.

“Son of a bitch,” he lets out a sigh and straightens when he sees the confused look thrown his way. “So on a scale of a ten year-old with a wooden sword to a ninja wannabe, how bad of an assassin are you?”

He frowns at the clear insult.

“Don’t give me that look, failsassin. Newsflash, Fury’s alive and kicking. Like the stubborn bastard he is, he faked his death and holed himself up in some dead-end old base with agent Hill.”

“That’s impossible,” he says with absolute certainty, because it is impossible. The man might have escaped him, but the injuries he sustained must have killed him.

“Little while ago we thought opening up interdimensional portals in the sky for alien armies to fly through was impossible and we all know how that went. Don’t worry about it, happens to the best assassins I’m sure. Nine outta ten? Anyway!” he announces, spotting his murderous glare. “Looks like our dearest Captain and Natasha are already with them and likely making plans of their own.”

“They will never make it in - ”

“On other related news, I have disabled the weapons on all three helicarriers. Like, totally rendered them unusable so good luck to Pierce when he tries to fly them or even attempt firing the weapons. That was the easy part. I could have done that in my sleep! I’m kinda offended that…an escaped HYDRA operative came to ask for my help but my trusty teammates decided to skip me completely.” He says it like it’s a joke and laughs it off, but his eyes betray the hurt behind those words.

“Are you sure?” he diverts the conversation back to the matter at hand. “That he can’t fire those weapons?”

“If he fires them, then I guess I deserve to die. Seriously, I built those helicarriers. I can hack Pierce’s toilet to backfire on him if I want to! Huh…now there’s a thought,” he purses his lips, flipping the phone back to his attention but pauses. “Nope, I can prank Fury with that later and that brings me to the hard part. I disabled the weapons so Pierce’s little project is a no-go, but that doesn’t solve the SHIELD is HYDRA problem at all. Do you know all the double-agents at SHIELD?”

“I could recognize a few if I saw them…I know some by name only.”

“So that’s a no,” he nods. “Which means we gotta flush them out the old fashioned way. Do a little spring cleaning if you know what I mean. Aaaaand judging from your constant murder frown, you don’t. Simply said, I’ll dump the entire SHIELD database on the internet. It will blow every SHIELD agent’s cover and secrets, but the same goes for HYDRA because someone thought it would be a good idea to keep HYDRA’s database secured in the same encrypted space. My money’s on Pierce – never underestimate a man with that kind of ego. Goes perfectly side to side with arrogance.”

“Revealing the data will compromise both SHIELD and HYDRA,” he muses out loud.

“Every single one of their deepest, darkest secrets – out in the world for everyone to see.”

“ _Can_ you do that? The access to the database must be well-protected.”

The man’s amused smirk makes a return. “You need two people with Alpha level clearance to get through the encryption. Like Pierce or Fury. Or! You could just be me and set up like ten bogus agent files that have Alpha level clearance. Here,” he focuses back on the phone, that’s somehow capable of all of the things he’s saying. “Starsky and Hutch! Two senior SHIELD agents with all the access I need, what a coincidence!”

He recalls Stark’s very own words from moments ago – never underestimate a man with an ego. In a way, Stark himself could rival Pierce’s ego and arrogant attitude but there is something different about him. He appears all cocky and careless while he’s in fact on top of the situation, dozens of moves ahead. “How did you manage that?” he gives into his curiosity.

“Howard was one of the founding members of SHIELD so he’s always had the highest clearance. Before his access was taken down, let’s just say I made sure to always have a backdoor ready to sneak a peak in there if needed. There we go,” he fiddles with the phone some more and frowns. He reaches behind him and brings up a large square tablet from somewhere underneath the cushions. “Now that’s better. I’ll uh…delete a few files that don’t need to see the light of day. You got any requests while I’m at it?”

He just stares at him, not bothering to hide his confusion. It’s all he’s been doing the past half an hour or so. He knew Stark would know what to do but he can’t even pretend to understand what he’s doing and how he’s even able to do it. Simply put, Stark has the brainpower, the abilities and connections to make this mission a success.

He would be more useful in a mission that included killing people. That’s what he’s good at. The only thing he’s good at.

“I’m sure you’ve got a file somewhere in here, come on. Give me a keyword or something so we can finally get to the introductions part and I’ll even delete the file then so it doesn’t go viral. A small, careful thank you for sneaking up here to tell me all about this?” Stark offers and that catches him by surprise.

Stark is right. Chances are his files are in that database as well. The only proof of his existence – his training, his missions…how he came to be who he is now. If he were to explain to the Avengers all about that, he would likely fail to find the right words. But they might easily understand everything from the file. “The Winter Soldier.”

Stark’s eyebrows fly up. “That your codename? Spooky. Alright, let’s see,” he types it in and searches the data for all of one minute before he’s staring into the tablet with a mixture of surprise, shock and confusion of his own. He glances between the screen and him a couple times before shaking his head. “JARVIS?” he calls for that man again with the same half questioning, half accusing tone.

“ _I am seeing the same thing, Sir_.”

“You said you searched for a match and didn’t find any,” Stark says patiently.

“ _I did indeed say that. And I couldn’t have found a match either way because the database does not include dead people_.”

Stark looks at him again, dumbstruck. “Does he look dead to you, J?”

“ _He looks very much alive, Sir_.”

“Okay,” he nods, slow and shaky. It doesn’t take a genius to realize he must have found his file and recognized the name. “I asked for your name and you said it was complicated. If you were…what this file says you were, you would just say so. If you were the Winter Soldier, you would have just said that too,” he gets up, flipping the tablet over so he can now see what he’s been looking at.

Likely the very first page of his extensive file that of course begins with the description of James Buchanan Barnes, along with a very telling photo. He’s never seen this before or doesn’t remember seeing it. The man on the photo – Barnes, in his old uniform, way before HYDRA ever got to him – looks young, short hair, half smile cracking his face.

He’s nothing like that man; a pale reflection of him at best. But recognizably they are one and the same in appearance. “It’s complicated,” he repeats the same answer, because it still applies.

“Bullshit! It’s very simple, actually. Are you the Winter Soldier, or are you James freaking out of the 40’s Howling Commando goddamn Barnes?!” he glares at him, all hints of emotions other than suspicion gone.

“I’m neither,” he shrugs, watching the engineer’s cold face harden.

“The file says otherwise.”

“The first page, maybe. Why don’t you scroll down? To see the ending of that story,” he prompts him, hoping Stark wouldn’t make this more difficult than necessary.

Thankfully, he does exactly that. Scrolls down all the way to the bottom and reads for a minute. Two minutes. Five minutes later he just sits back down, or more like collapses, his expression transforming into something he can’t read, but makes him feel…uncomfortable. Especially when he looks at him with that face, eyes boring into him like lasers. “HYDRA killed them both,” he says, barely audible.

He gives a small nod, holding the eye contact.

“So…who are _you_?”

A question he asked himself many times, yet the answer eludes him still. He doesn’t even have a name. He’s a nameless nobody. But here he stands. Alive. Breathing. Thinking. He has ambitions and desires. Needs and wishes. Feelings, too, no matter how obscure they are to him. So he must be…someone. “I…,” he begins, not used to referring to himself at all. “I just… _am_. I am.”

He watches Stark’s knowing eyes fill with pure understanding and for the first time since he’s come to _be_ , he feels connected to the here and now and not the past, to this body and his mind and to the strange man in front of him that he dared to trust this mission to and didn’t regret it.

“Yes…you _are_. Not Barnes, not the Soldier…not HYDRA, which is great. So…who do you wanna be?” he asks, expression finally relaxing into his previous cocky façade. “Tell me you don’t wanna be someone weird like…Jeff. Jeffs are weird. Phils are creepy, unless your name is Agent too. Albrecht is unpronounceable. And you don’t look like a Giovanni either.”

He knows who he wants to be – the man that will end HYDRA once and for all. The weapon to cut all the heads off with precision HYDRA itself taught him. He wants to be the final destination, the dusk, the winter to all that is HYDRA. Cold, harsh, unpredictable and unforgiving. So that’s who he’ll be.

“Winter. I am Winter.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be up on the 25th...and it's time for Tony's POV ^^


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cap arrives at the Tower...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! Thank you all for the kudos and feedback in comments, you're awesome! <3 As promised, here's the next chaper. More Tony, more Winter...and now Cap comes into the picture. And he's not a happy Captain.
> 
> Enjoy the read! Next part will be up next Sunday, since it's Easter and all ^^

“You were gonna destroy them?!”

“ _Yeah, Stark, we_ \- ”

“No no no, run that past me again?! You wanted to destroy them…all three of them…like, level them with the ground using their own weapons. This is exactly why I can’t let you have nice things, Fury!” he yells into the phone while pacing around the bar. He’s so done. As if Captain Asshole totally ignoring his existence wasn’t enough of a blow to the guts, Fury’s genius idea was to destroy the helicarriers! He built those things from the ground up and he was just gonna destroy them and why? Because his brain is the size of a peanut, that’s why!

“ _Calm the hell down, Stark! The situation_ \- ”

“Was blown out of proportions thanks to you and your need to be a drama queen! Yeah you would have killed HYDRA agents but what about SHIELD agents still stuck in there? Not so smart now that you think about it, huh? You know what? Whatever. Forget it. It’s all under control now – no thanks to you. The helicarriers are grounded and once Pierce figured he can’t lift off or even activate the weapons and was suddenly able to google every HYDRA secret file there is, he and all his undercover beast heads ran for their lives. Carter and Agent are checking up on all the agents that stayed behind, just in case Pierce left someone to play spy.”

“ _Agent thirteen and who_?!”

“Agent Agent! You know, the one you told us was killed by Loki a while back to make us play team? Well played. Could have fooled me, if he didn’t go to the cellist first chance he got.”

Fury pauses, clearly not expecting him to know about that too. “ _Sorry not sorry, Stark. I’ll take it from here, set up a meeting with the rest of the Council - that’s not HYDRA and talk about our next step_.”

“You do that. And make sure not to accidentally make another HYDRA rip-off agency while you’re at it…for fuck’s sake,” he mumbles, halting his erratic pacing. “I’ve sent the quinjet your way to pick up Capsicle and his anti-HYDRA failsquad.”

“ _They were through a lot and wanna rest. We can have a briefing later_ \- ”

“Uh, no, we can’t. They need to haul their ass in here, right now.” He can’t help but glance over at the still form of the Winter Sol…of _Winter_ , standing on the same spot as before. He told him to sit down like ten times but he probably enjoys looming over people. Or something. He looks dead tired and Tony would know how dead tired looks like. Kinda like him right now. The hell was he doing in the workshop for three days?!

“ _Why_?” he asks, annoyed to the bone – exactly how Tony likes him.

“You go sort your shady intelligence agency problems and leave this one to us. Put Rogers on the phone.” Yeah…Rogers is gonna flip his lid. Well, first Tony will flip his lid for being a shit friend and teammate and then he will flip it himself when he finds out the guy he thinks is ‘Bucky’ is not him anymore and will never be again.

He kinda feels sorry for the Capsicle…HYDRA already took away his past and now that he could have gotten at least his best buddy back, HYDRA had to crash that hope too. But he’s way too mad at the spangly man to really care.

After a moment of rustling from the other side as the phone changed holders, Rogers’s tired voice sounded through the line. “ _Tony_?”

“The quinjet should be there in two minutes. Get in here.”

“ _Look, I appreci_ \- ”

“I’m chilling in the penthouse with the Winter Soldier. Get in here, Rogers,” he commands and ends the call. It’s only half a lie, really. He’s chilling here, but not exactly with the Winter Soldier. Just Winter. Whoever the hell Winter is.

Well, from what he can tell so far - the man hates HYDRA, recently handed them a very straightforward resignation and doesn’t like sitting down. He also had the balls to slither into the Tower through the vents…that have a very deadly explosive ready to be set off by JARVIS on every other square meter.

Tony told JARVIS to see what the intruder is up to before blowing him sky high of course, because whoever is dumb or desperate enough to try infiltrating the Tower must have an interesting story behind the decision. And that definitely turned out to be true.

Other than that, he doesn’t know what to make of the man. He’s gonna have to read the whole file on some particularly sleepless night, because what he read moments ago was likely enough to keep him awake already. Leave it to HYDRA to corner the market on torturing a man to death but not really death.

Winter notices him staring and shifts uncomfortably. “Is it true?” he asks with a killer amount of hesitance, like he’s afraid to _ask_. “HYDRA fled the helicarriers?”

He gives him a firm nod and sits on the bar stool, once again waving at the free stools next to him in clear invitation that Winter ignores. “Like scared kittens. I hope there’s some footage of Pierce’s face when he figured his evil masterplan is in ruins. That oughta be priceless.”

“They won’t stay in hiding for long. As soon as they regroup and devise a new plan, they’ll be back.”

“SHIELD will take some time to recover from this as well. But if HYDRA decides to cause trouble again, we’ll be ready this time around. Their sneaky tactics won’t work anymore.”

Winter’s lips twitch into a tiny, broken smirk. “Good.”

“O-kaaaay,” he clasps his hands and moves around the bar, diverting his gaze from the dangerously satisfied face of the former HYDRA agent. “Celebration drink? Before the failsquad gets here? Bet Nat is gonna break the sound barrier piloting that thing back so we only have a few minutes. I’m thinking whiskey,” he grabs the fancy bottle of the golden liquid, holding it up in question.

Winter’s expression cracks back into his recent default mix of confusion and surprise. Another reason Tony’s not even bothered by the fact he’s all alone in a room with HYDRA’s most efficient ex-weapon. Sure, he’s got the armor here just in case, but he can’t bring himself to fear a man that looks like a lost puppy all the time. A kicked, abandoned, muddy, weathered and supposedly deadly lost puppy. With a supposedly deadly metal arm that he’s yet to see, since his long sleeves and gloves are camouflaging it quite successfully.

He takes mercy on the assassin and instead of demanding an answer, he just pours two glasses and pushes one on the edge of the counter, leaving the man a choice to take it or not. “To Fury!” he toasts. “The most resilient and oblivious bastard out there!” He one-shots the drink, savoring the bitter taste for a moment before swallowing. A second one wouldn’t go amiss. Especially since he’s gonna have to deal with Captain America in a second. He’d recommend Winter to down the entire bottle because if there really isn’t a single piece of James Barnes left in his brain, he is so not ready to face the judgmental pair of blue eyes – and Capsicle has a mean pair of those when he needs to.

Staying true to his uncertain behavior, Winter doesn’t move to sit at the bar and neither does he take the offered drink – although he keeps starting at it with something Tony would almost describe as longing.

He needs to read that damn file.

Two minutes of awkward silence later, the hum of the quinjet’s engines carries through the room as the aircraft touches down at the helipad outside. Tony shrugs, downing the drink meant for Winter and he hides the whiskey bottle again before someone accuses him of early morning alcoholism…again. Within seconds, Capsicle barges through the glass doors, stopping just few feet away from the bar. His gaze zeroes in on Winter of course, who definitely doesn’t enjoy the attention by the way his entire body tenses up once more.

“Bucky?” he carefully calls him. The sheer amount of hope in that one single word almost breaks the already shattered bits of Tony’s heart. So Cap might be an asshole, but he doesn’t deserve this. Barnes definitely didn’t deserve what he got either.

“Uh, yeah. Not Bucky, Cap,” he speaks up, sparing the assassin from answering.

Rogers finally registers his casual presence at the bar, blinking between the deceptively empty armor nearby and Winter. His hand slowly travels behind his back, face hardening.

At the same time, Winter takes a single step back, falling into a defensive stance – he recognizes Cap’s move immediately, spotting the threat behind it. The reaction is nothing but warranted.

But Tony really doesn’t want to deal with Cap’s frisbee bouncing off of the recently renovated walls of the penthouse. As if the Hulk smashing Loki _into_ the floor wasn’t enough. He somehow manages to do the intended, fancy side-jump over the bar – probably the whiskey at work – and steps between the two soldiers. “He’s not the Winter Soldier either. So…why don’t you chill out with the shield, hm?”

He receives a very profound frown from their fearless leader, his hand still firmly at his back, ready to take the shield off. Natasha chooses that moment to catch up and stands behind Rogers with the new guy…what was his name…Watson? Winston?

“Hello, Soldier,” she says in Russian, the sentence simple enough that even he can understand it.

He glances over his shoulder at Winter, who didn’t abandon his alerted state and is now glaring at Natasha.

“Black Widow,” he replies in kind.

“Seems like the Winter Soldier to me,” she hisses and steps next to Rogers. “Get out of the way, Tony.”

“Uh, nope. Hell no. I just had this place repainted, you are _not_ throwing your shield around here,” he points an accusing finger at Rogers and moves it to Natasha a second later. “And _you_ are not throwing a single dagger, shuriken or sharpened spork in here either! Take a chill pill, both of you and sit down. You too, Winston.”

“Wilson,” the guy retorts but moves to the sofa without any extra prompting, so Tony counts it as a win there.

“Whatever, new guy. Anyone up for breakfast? Y’all look like shit,” he observes, trying to lighten up the mood.

“Stark,” Natasha warns. She only ever uses his surname when she’s being dead serious.

“Bite me, Widow. Sit your ass down and listen, both of you!” he commands, his hand flying sideways to point at the sofa in a silent order for them to move there.

They reluctantly go and sit next to Wins – Wilson…that’s a terrible name. He’ll need a nickname and fast.

“Good! Now that we’re all calm and relaxing, let’s get some food up here. JARVIS? How about waffles? Everyone loves waffles. And maple syrup.”

“ _On the way, Sir_.”

“Awesome,” he sighs, looking back at Winter. He’s still tense, but at least not ready to bolt outta here or start throwing knives of his own anymore. “Don’t mind him standing over there,” he tells the Avengers. “He’s not sold on the whole concept of sitting just yet. Which is, you know…fine,” he nods at Winter, who can’t help but keep his gaze pinned on the sofa squad.

“Tony?” Only Rogers can make his name sound half like an insult.

“Hello to you too, Capsicle. How’s it going? All good?” he starts while heading back behind the bar to try and find some coffee in there. “Heard you’ve got yourself into trouble in DC a few days ago, according to our friend here,” he waves at Winter. “Must have…missed your text. Or letter. Telegram? You know, the one where you asked me for help?”

He breathes out, knowing all too well what he was getting at. “I had plenty of help,” he gestures at his two companions. “Can we skip this…whatever this is and get to the important matter here?!” he glances at Winter, matching his suspicious glare.

Sure, let’s skip the part where he gets totally ignored by his supposed friend and teammate, why not. It’s not like…important or anything that some guy Rogers met in a park is more trustworthy in his eyes than him. Pulling all that aside, did neither one of them think for even a second that the tech genius in the team might be helpful in the shithole of a situation they found themselves in? Fucking rude! And absolutely stupid.

He doesn’t let the anger…or the hurt show. Instead he busies himself with brewing the delicious healing potion. “I thought I already covered that. Meet Winter,” he nods in Winter’s direction. “Not ‘Bucky’, not the Winter Soldier. Just Winter. His uh…name by choice.”

“You’re not making any sense, Tony.”

Maybe a punch in the face could lend Rogers some sense. Tony’s really not in the right mind to be telling the man his long lost friend is dead. “Then let me finish the story, Capitano. See, Winter here did the smart thing. While you were playing dumb spies or whatever in DC, he ditched HYDRA and came straight here to tell me about Pierce, Fury, Project Insight and all that evil jab. _Smart_. Because it literally took me _twenty minutes_ to sabotage that plan and flush HYDRA out into the open. And I might have spent five playing Minesweeper! Oh and don’t worry about your super-secret files, Widow. Yours and Birdbrain’s – as well Carter’s, Hill’s and other agents’ I’m pretty damn sure are not HYDRA – are not googlable.”

“That’s not a word,” she retorts, but has a hard time covering the small smile.

“Yeah yeah yeah. You can thank me later. _All_ of you. So…that’s about it. Any questions before we dig into the waffles?”

“Tony!” Rogers cuts him off impatiently.

“I’m sorry, okay?!” he barks back at him, smacking a coffee mug onto the glassy surface of the bar. “I’m sorry I have to be the one to tell you and I have no idea how so I’m just saying it as it is! Barnes is dead and so is the Winter Soldier. HYDRA went apeshit at one point and wiped this guy’s brain so hard it erased both of them. So yeah… Winter here is a new guy,” he ends in a pathetic mumble and goes back to playing with the coffee cup in his hands, waiting for the water to brew.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Rogers blink, glancing between him and Winter a few times. “That’s…not true.”

Great. Here comes the denial. “HYDRA has an entire file about it, found it before dumping the database on the internet. You should read it. After you get some rest. I read just a couple paragraphs and I’m already in the mood to punch something with HYDRA’s name on it.”

Rogers’s brain apparently reboots itself with a tiny shake, eyes widening. “See?! You only read part of the file! HYDRA probably just thinks it killed Bucky anyway, I mean, he’s right there!” he waves at Winter. “He’s in there somewhere, we just have to find a way to - ”

“No,” Winter speaks up. “The file is correct.”

Rogers stands, raising a placating hand. “Bucky, listen - ”

“I am not Bucky,” he jumps in and Tony swears there’s a clear, annoyed undertone to it.

“Well I’m _not_ talking to _you_ , then!”

“There is nobody else hearing you, but me.”

“Bullshit!” Rogers blurts out, stunning just about everyone in the room. “I don’t believe that for a second! You just need to get lost and let him come back around!” And just like that, bargaining turns to anger. Tony’s shrink used to have a field day with that, pointing out how he can go through all five stages of grief within a minute. He fired the idiot, not because he was wrong – he was actually spot on, but him being a smartass wasn’t exactly helping Tony. At all. That’s where he moved on to acceptance. Accepting he just can’t be helped.

Rogers doesn’t look like he’s about to accept the loss of his best friend and start dealing with the fact there’s now an entirely new person with Barnes’s face on it.

“Steve,” Natasha intervenes, daring to grab the fuming Captain’s arm. “Be reasonable. Why would the file be wrong? And what would _he_ gain by lying about this?”

“So he could deceive us! That’s all HYDRA’s ever done! Lie and manipulate to get what they want. For all we know, him being here can be all part of Pierce’s plan!”

Too bad Erskine didn’t prioritize intelligence when deciding who to pump the serum with. At least the serum could add some brain muscles too, but nope. He isn’t saying Rogers is stupid, but there are times when the supersoldier could use little more brains and less biceps. Like right now.

“Yeah, I’m sure Pierce wanted to miserably fail and run away from SHIELD with his tail between his legs because his most treasured assassino has gone rogue. Who’s not making sense now, Rogers?” he can’t help the mocking reply.

It was still worth the death glare he receives in return. Rogers shrugs off Nat’s hand and walks in a circle around Winter toward the elevator. “You don’t understand anything, _Stark_ ,” he spits, getting in on the surname game. “I ain’t giving up on Bucky. He wouldn’t give up on me either, ever! So how are you expecting me to, just because some HYDRA file says he’s dead?!”

Tony raises both hands in defense. “I’m not. Go sleep on it, Cap. Read the file. Have a chat with this guy. And then decide for yourself. You’re a big guy now, I’m not expecting you to listen to anything an old geezer like me has to say so...whatever.”

Rogers still looks like he wants nothing more than punch him, but at least his face is losing the crimson red.

“We could all use a little nap time,” Natasha sighs.

Tony grins at her, opening his arms wide. “Mi casa es su casa! Pick a floor and it’s yours for the night. Hell…it’s yours for the rest of forever. Some aren’t furnished though…just ask JARVIS, he knows.”

“Cool,” Natasha nods and a second later pierces Winter with her very own deadly glare. “Which leaves us with just one issue, before we can sleep in peace.”

Winter stayed surprisingly calm throughout the whole encounter, but being subjected to Nat’s chill inducing glares can shatter even his resolve apparently. So he’s back to looking ready to bolt out of the room.

“JARVIS won’t let anyone onto your floor unless you tell him to, so there’s your peace. I’ll leave some waffles to you…maybe. Now get going, me and Winter will sort out the rest.”

Whatever the rest really is. What is he supposed to do with the man?! Yesterday, he was still on HYDRA’s payroll, figuratively speaking, but today he’s singlehandedly caused HYDRA’s biggest fall since the Red Skull was defeated. His rational mind is torn between locking him up somewhere because he’s _dangerous and HYDRA_ and shaking the man’s hand, giving him all the superhero awards ever. Not that there are any.

“Don’t need to sell it to me, man. I’m ready to sleep for a week!” Wilson hauls himself up from the sofa and heads to where Rogers is standing in the hall. “Calling dibs on the highest floor!”

Nat squints, glancing between him, Winter and the Iron Man armor parked in the corner. “Alright. We’ll talk later,” she adds, spinning a butterfly knife out of nowhere and playing with it on her way out of the room. Her intense stare never leaving Winter.

The assassin visibly flinches at the sight of the blade, but doesn’t make any moves, just returns to stare.

The failsquad fits into the elevator and disappears behind the doors, leaving them alone again.

“Coffee?” he offers the first mug full of the fresh-made brew to Winter and doesn’t expect him to take it, based on the whole one hour of knowing the man. At the same time, he doesn’t refuse it either. He’s just…uncertain. “You _do_ drink something, right? And eat?”

“Of course. There… _was_ a mandatory sustenance once a day after training, mission or maintenance,” he answers, wincing at the last word without realizing it probably.

Mandatory. Sustenance. Once a day. Yeah, he doesn’t need to hear more than that to know HYDRA fucked with him on more levels than is even written in the file. He really needs to read that shit asap after all. “Fucking hell,” he curses, putting the mug on the edge of the counter again while pouring himself another. “So…tell me. Now that Project Insight is dead and done, what are you gonna be up to?”

Winter lowers his gaze to the floor. “I deserted HYDRA so I could fight HYDRA. So that is what I’ll do.”

“Why?”

“Because that’s what he’s done. Barnes,” he adds and has all of Tony’s attention in an instant. “He fought them. And they killed him because of it. The Soldier,” he pauses, taking his time to form the answer again. “He didn’t have a choice. They had ways to make him obey, no matter what. But even he despised HYDRA. I am not them, but I am…who I am…based on their experiences. Some of their memories and…emotions, they remain in some form. They taught me everything I know. And I know that I want to continue their fight.”

It’s more than he’s heard him say since meeting him up here and he can’t detect any lie in those words. Instead, they’re laced with determination and something unusual for the assassin – certainty. “You could have done that decades ago, right after you were…born,” he grimaces at the word.

“I wouldn’t be able to do it alone.”

Tony wants to ask what changed that he’s suddenly going rogue now, but clasps his mouth shut. It’s obvious, isn’t it? He knew he couldn’t do it alone so he waited for someone that would be willing to help him. For decades, he was stuck reluctantly following HYDRA’s lead, waiting for the right moment – and the right allies – to come. And if anyone can and _wants_ to fight HYDRA it’d be the Avengers.

He ditched HYDRA for _them_.

“Huh,” he hums, after dumbly staring into his coffee. Who would have thought a weird combination of James Barnes and the Winter Soldier would result in…someone _smart_. HYDRA definitely didn’t; Pierce and all his Handlers before him only saw the man as a weapon and since when are weapons smart, right? Looks like HYDRA is in for some rude awakening, because all that hardcore physical training they’ve made him undergo combined with some brains is going to be a nightmare. They never even saw it coming until it was too late because he had them all fooled.

Well played.

“Okay. Fighting HYDRA. Sounds like a plan. I’m gonna go crawl into my bed with a large plate of waffles now, so…we can continue talking later. Gonna call Brucie and Birdbrain in here since this is uh…Avengers matter. Kinda. Anyway! You can…pick a floor too, call it night, get a plate of waffles…or whatever you wanna do.”

He frowns at that, shifting on his feet. “Whatever I want to do?”

“Uhhh…yeah? If you wanna go to sleep, go to sleep. You hungry? Have them waffles. Feel like going for a run to the Central Park? Go run ‘til your legs fall off.”

“And if I want to kill every HYDRA operative there is in the world?” he offers instead, not too impressed by the options Tony’s given him.

Tony grabs his coffee, walking around the man into the hall leading to his room while shaking his head. “Then we definitely have something in common. But you’re not gonna achieve that in one afternoon on your own. If you wanna…you know…join us so we can take on the bastards together, then that’s on the table as well but until it’s official and we make ourselves a plan of action and all that, you can just…do whatever. Eat, sleep, train, watch cheesy spy movies…the world is your oyster.”

Winter keeps his brows tightly knit, eyes squinted in suspicion and for a painful second, Tony wonders if this is the first time in his…existence…that he’s been given the freedom to choose what he’s going to do with his time. Just the thought itself makes him wanna suit up right here right now and go find Pierce and start by skinning him alive.

“At least stay until tomorrow. We’ll all sleep on it, the rest of the team will show up, we’ll have a nice lil’ talk and decide where to go from here.”

Winter studies him for one more moment before nodding, face falling into the neutral scowl he seems to wear most of the time. “Alright.”

“Great! Now…I’ve got waffles with my name on it arriving any minute now, so…feel at home. Do whatever. JARVIS can assist you with anything you need, right J?”

“ _Of course, it will be my pleasure_ ,” the AI confirms, making Tony beam at the nearest hidden ceiling cam.

“JARVIS is the artificial intelligence in charge of the whole Tower, in case you were wondering,” he adds, when Winter follows his gaze in curiosity. “He’s the one controlling the armor as well,” he points out and the armor powers up again and waves at Winter as proof. “That’s adorable, J, go recharge it now.”

“Artificial intelligence…so he’s…a program?” Winter muses, watching the armor walk outside and fly out.

“You could say that I guess. I wrote his basic core code but he’s in all regards superior to any other program you might have come across. Ever. It’s scary sometimes…how real he is,” he smiles, remembering how JARVIS began as a simple set of ones and zeroes that talked back using programmed in phrases and did little else. He’s come a long way from there.

Winter looks intrigued for just a second, before his face shuts off immediately, suspicion written all over it again.

“Anyway…do your thing, whatever it is,” he waves his hand around the room. “See ya later.”

Still not in business of making full sentenced responses, Winter nods, already looking like he wants to just disappear into the shadows, parkour down the Tower and melt into the crowds or something equally ninja-assassin-ey.

“Oh and thanks,” he swirls around before rounding the corner. “For showing up here. And saving the day. Well…I saved the day, but wouldn’t have been able to without you so yeah, thanks. You can have twenty percent of the credit,” he offers with a wink.

It would be easy to completely miss the upward twitch of Winter’s lips, but since there were only about three different expressions on his face that Tony’s seen and they all involved him looking intimidating, he spots the quirk just before disappearing into his room.

He’s got a file to read.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My tumblr thing...](http://lantia.tumblr.com) Come say hi and talk some WinterIron /w me ^^


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee breaks the ice (and DUM-E breaks Winter)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! I must admit I'm in a bit of a hurry because we're having a Harry Potter marathon in about ten minutes :D So I shall disappear from the face of the Earth for the next twenty-or-so hours, but hey, I promised another chapter, so here it is! ^^ I will get back to all your amazing comments once I'm out of Hogwarts ;D 
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading, and enjoy - possibly the last calm-before-the-storm - chapter :3

Winter stays at the penthouse common room the entire day. With the mission successfully done, he finds himself at a loss of what to do. So he settles to what he’s always done between missions – rest. The room is still too spacey for his liking, but he plops down behind the far side of the bar facing the hall to gain some sort of security from the windowed other side. He remains sitting there, falling in and out of light sleep until late night.

The voice – JARVIS – prompts him to move to another floor or at least the sofa, promising to alert him should anyone try to enter the floor, but Winter isn’t ready to trust the…artificial intelligence. The last artificial intelligence he’s encountered was anything but trustworthy. And the man, Arnim Zola, that the AI was based off on was Barnes’s worst nightmare. He created the Winter Soldier, he created the Chair and even after death he still managed to serve HYDRA in the form of the AI. He was and is HYDRA’s most valuable asset and one of the scariest Handlers he remembers the Soldier having.

JARVIS isn’t HYDRA. He wasn’t even made by HYDRA, so maybe his fear is unfounded. But if what Stark said was true…that he can do what _he_ wants to do now…then he can sit on the floor here without needing to listen to JARVIS’s suggestion. Because that is exactly what it was – a suggestion. Not a command expected to be carried out.

He keeps on sitting there the whole day and night, eventually giving in to his thirst and drinking the cold coffee left on the bar. It tastes… _amazing_.

He’d never tasted anything this good before. He was lucky if he got a sip of the days old muddy water his Handlers enjoyed throwing at him. He indulged himself on missions sometimes if an opportunity presented itself, but the ‘coffee’ he had before simply cannot be compared to this one in the least. Daring to push his luck, he pours himself another cup from the leftovers in the kettle and enjoys it sip by sip.

There’s no Handler bursting through the doors with punishment at the ready, no one to tell him he can’t drink the entire kettle, no one to tell him what to do and what not to do. Maybe Stark _was_ right. Maybe he _can_ take charge over his own life - as long as he doesn’t fall back into HYDRA’s hands. And he would rather die than ever have to witness the inside of a HYDRA prison again. But not before taking them down with him.

Clutching onto the cold but strangely comforting cup, he occupies his mind with thoughts of revenge until early morning hours.

“ _Mr. Winter, sir_?” the AI speaks, quiet and careful but it startles him either way. “ _I should inform you that Doctor Banner is on his way up to the penthouse at this very moment_.”

Doctor Bruce Banner. The Hulk. The Avenger HYDRA fears the most – even more than the alien man with a hammer. He remembers all their files and the one thing he remembers from Banner’s is not to make the man angry or be ready to face a ten feet horde of pure rage and strength that can’t be defeated by any means known to HYDRA.

He stands by the edge of the bar, willing himself to blend into the shadows, but when Banner emerges from the elevator and towards the room his eyes land on him immediately. He stops his advance, but doesn’t look surprised or even alerted by the sight of a complete stranger. He must have expected him to be there…likely JARVIS’s doing.  

“Hi,” he says with a hesitant smile, giving him a little wave with his left hand while the other is holding a large bag. “You must be Winter. Tony said you’d be here,” he explains, descending the few steps down to the common room, seemingly not bothered by his presence at all.

Winter might not be a threat to him and the man knows it, but still…to be so casual around him is…strange.

He throws the bag to the foot of the sofa and stretches with a tired sigh. “I’m Bruce,” he continues with the same, wavering smile that Winter doesn’t understand.

It’s an entirely new expression to him but coming up from somewhere deep within, his brain supplies him with the word _shy_. It’s what Barnes would recognize it as. Nobody acted _shy_ around him before…intimidated, horrified, malicious…all sorts of other, unpleasant ways, yes. Stark was curious. And now this man is _shy_. What is he supposed to do with _that_?

“Not sure how big you are on handshakes, so we can skip that, no problem,” he goes on, watching Winter with something akin to Stark’s curiosity. Unlike Stark though, his emotions and by extension thoughts are blatantly on display rather than hidden behind walls and veils of fake expressions.

Banner is being _friendly_ with him, he realizes. And that’s where he is finally completely lost.

“Is that coffee?” he points at the cup Winter cradles closer to his chest just then as if to protect it. If Banner notices it, he pays it no mind and rounds the bar from the further side of it. “Ah, it’s the good stuff, too,” he smiles, picking up the kettle and giving it a close inspection. “I’ll make a new batch, how about that? What’s Tony’s ETA, JARVIS?”

“ _Sir is in the shower so my estimate would be five minutes_.”

“Too much information, J,” he chuckles while already at work with the kettle and the coffee beans. “Tell him I started up coffee already, that should motivate him.”

JARVIS replies after a pause: “Sir wishes me to proclaim his undying love for you, Doctor Banner.”

“Yeah yeah, I know,” he laughs, shaking his head. “So…HYDRA is a thing, huh?” he glances at him. “And I was naïve enough to think I’d get one month of peace and quiet. Silly me.”

Winter is almost too occupied analyzing the interaction with the AI they’ve just had to listen to the Doctor. He’s just so out of his element to even attempt a reply. Based on his experience with HYDRA, he expects people to fear him, be suspicious of him, act cruelly and condescending toward him. He knows how to deal with that sort of people and situations. So anything out of the ‘ordinary’, such as a friendly, shy man who turns into a raging beast when he gets angry – but doesn’t even look capable of being angry – is an anomaly in Winter’s book. One that needs to be observed and figured out first.

“You don’t talk very much, do you?” Banner says a moment later, watching him out of the corner of his eye. “Which is okay, you know? You’ll soon find that Tony is capable of talking for the whole room if needed. So don’t sweat it.”

Can the Hulk read minds? It seems likely with the way he talks to him. Like he knows exactly what’s Winter thinking about. It’s unnerving to say the least.

“Want a refill?” he asks, holding the now steaming kettle up.

He probably shouldn’t have any more. He’s basically drunk the entire contents of the kettle already. No need for so much caffeine. He can’t stop staring at it though… _wanting_.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Banner grins, moving to refill his cup without any further prompting. And he lets him.

Even cold, the coffee was great. But now that he tasted it hot, warmth spreading through his body like wildfire, he can’t imagine anything tasting any better than this. He finishes the cup in two large gulps, humming in utter content.

“Exactly,” Banner mumbles, inhaling the wonderful smell from his own cup, leaving a third one on the bar. “I could get paid by this coffee only and be a happy man. Considering a bag of it costs more than I earn in a year, I’d probably get one bean a day…and it would still be worth it.”

“Damn straight!” Stark announces from the hall, somehow sneaking up on Winter _again_.

Why is he moving so silently?! His enhanced hearing can usually pick up on the most annoying of sounds that normal humans can’t, coming from behind walls even but Stark somehow materializes out of nowhere… in his socks. The engineer is wearing fluffy, warm-looking and very soundless pair of socks, gliding across the floor like a ghost.

_Impressive_. Strange….but still impressive.

“I could live on nothing but this coffee for the rest of my life,” he adds onto the praise and bee-lines for the cup Banner poured for him.

“Something tells me you already are.”

“Hey now! I devoured a full plate of waffles, don’t you even start, Brucie-bear!” 

“And when was that, last week?” Banner raises his eyebrows, looking amused.

“Yesterday morning…huh…explains why I’m so hungry again. Anyway, there’s work to be done! Morning, Winter Wonder. Good to see you decided to hang around,” he regards him with a grin, taking a few gulps of the scorching hot beverage as well.

“Tony…it’s four AM.”

“A perfect time to start working! Okay…fine. You go sleep off the jet lag and I’ll uh…go check on the workshop. I was working on something for three days straight and still have no idea what it was.”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

“Because you know me,” he beams. “You didn’t meet Birdbrain somewhere on your way up here by any chance?”

“If by Birdbrain you mean Clint, then no,” he frowns. “Why are you calling him Birdbrain?”

“He has one…a brain the size of a bird’s one. He _is_ a bird, too! More like a pigeon than a hawk, but a bird anyway. It’s perfect. Oh my god, Wilson is basically his bird lovechild! That’s even more perfect! There was no way I was calling him Wilson, what kinda name is that?! Birdbrain 2.0 it is!”

“Wilson? As in the new…bird…guy?”

“That’s the one. He looks chill, but still can’t decide whether he has a huge mancrush on Rogers or Natasha. He was sending some mixed signals.”

“Right. You figure that one out, Sherlock. Where can I crash?” he asks, rounding the bar.

“Pick a floor and it’s yours.”

“Somewhere not too high…close to the lab?”

“JARVIS?”

“ _I believe the eleventh floor should match these criteria_.”

“There you go! Here, let me help you with that,” Stark moves to the discarded bag and tries to pick it up but grunts and lets it go. “The hell are you smuggling in there?! A neutron star?!”

“No…I keep those in my other bag,” he grimaces and reaches for the luggage, picking it up with little to no effort.

“Show-off,” he scoffs. “We’ll have the meeting after lunch so you should have enough time to rest and all. If you’re hungry just ask JARVIS, ‘cause I doubt there’s anything edible in the fridge.”

“Thanks. See you later. Winter,” he nods his way and heads back to the already awaiting elevator.

“Alright…science time!” Stark mumbles, bringing a phone up from his pants’ pocket with his free hand. “So…a risqué question. You wanna stare into a wall for another half a day in here, or do you wanna see how I science shit up in the workshop? Hell, you can stare into a wall in the workshop if that’s your thing, but I’d like to believe I’m more appealing than a wall,” he suggests with the awful, strained grin he seems to enjoy using whenever he needs to make a façade.

Workshop. That is just a fancy word for a _lab_. And a lab is just another word for _maintenance_. And maintenance means pain and torture and punishment and…that is what it all meant with HYDRA. And so far everything that was normal and routine with HYDRA is one big anomaly here in the Tower.

Nothing fits into his experiences and expectations. Maybe when Stark says that he can go to the workshop with him _just to observe_ , then that is exactly what is going to happen. He shrugs, his thoughts too conflicting.

“Is that a yes shrug or a hell no shrug? Either’s fine…just thought you might be bored to death in here.”

“Bored?” he repeats, trying to remember what _bored_ feels like.

Stark loses the fake smile and frowns. “When…you have nothing to do? When you _don’t know_ what to do, nothing challenges you and your brain basically turns into a dead-end?”

“Oh.” He is definitely bored then. The only time he’s not bored, in fact, is in the middle of a mission. And his mission is on hold now. “And if I go with you…?”

“Then you will most definitely _not_ be bored. No idea what you like doing for fun…or if you even understand what fun is,” he frowns some more.

No thanks to HYDRA. Barnes would go out to drink and dance for fun. The Soldier enjoyed cleaning his weapons, sharpening the knives…to pass the little time he had on his own. “I suppose.” But what _does_ _he_ like doing for fun? Other than killing.

“Well, you won’t find out for sure if you don’t…try some stuff. So yes workshop or no workshop? It uh…might be kinda overwhelming? I guess? It’s a mess…machinery and tools everywhere, the bots fly around and get in the way all the time…they won’t bother you though, don’t worry. DUM-E might, but I’ll shoo him away.”

He nods, eyes flicking over to the abandoned kettle. “Can I take the coffee there?” he asks and Stark’s face lights up the instant.

“ _Please_ do. J? It’s a lil’ too late for breakfast to bed, but how about a workplace snack time?”

“ _Of course. Anything in particular_?”

Stark nods toward the hall in a silent prompt to be followed. “Anything _you’d_ like to eat? And I swear if you shrug, I will lose my mind. It’s not a trick question or a test or a trap or whatever it is you’re thinking because HYDRA…never mind. Come on. Food. Your choice.”

He follows him into the elevator, cup and kettle safely in hands. Just the thought of food turns his stomach. He is starving, but the leftover, half-rotten and occasionally poisoned or drugged dishes he’s used to having aren’t the greatest motivation to eat anything. Then again, the coffee turned out alright…so maybe… “Pasta?”

“Oooh, Italian for breakfast? Great idea! JARVIS?”

“ _I have already placed an order for the selection of best dishes in Bianco downtown_.”

“Are they even opened?” he frowns, while simultaneously looking something up on the phone and drinking coffee. _And_ having this conversation.

“ _They are now_ ,” JARVIS replies, sounding all innocent. Winter can hear the implication though.

Stark chuckles, swooshing out of the elevator the second it opens. “Alright…not even gonna ask. Just make sure to leave them a good tip.”

The workshop, Winter finds, is a perfect match to how Stark described it. Machinery, workstations, tools…all over the large space. There are no windows anywhere even though he is sure they haven’t gone down below ground level. It _is_ overwhelming. But not in the expected bad way. It’s… _awe_ inspiring. Just like the Iron Man armor itself – looking both dangerous but amazing.

“Come in…unless you changed your mind,” he invites him, discarding the phone onto the workbench in the middle of the room. “The hell was I doing here?” he whispers to himself.

Winter steps inside, the elevator closing behind him automatically. The room should feel like a trap. There’s only one way out. Not an easily accessible one, should the AI decide to block it. He should be intimidated by all the machines and tables that serve some unknown and potentially malicious purpose…but he’s not. The room has a completely different vibe than the dreary _maintenance_ rooms he’s used to. If anything, HYDRA can only dream about the hi-tech equipment in here.

And speaking of hi-tech equipment, one of it decides to _move straight towards him._

“DUM-E! You stop right there!” Stark yells after the…robot? And it listens to the command immediately, although the beepy whine he emits doesn’t sound very happy. “Don’t give me that you little menace. We had the talk about strangers and personal space before, right? So why don’t you act on that, hm?”

The bot whines some more, his…stick…arm? Extending ever so slightly in Winter’s direction.

“I’d say he’s harmless, but I know better. He made me pancakes last week? And used motor oil to fry them. I don’t even know what he used instead of flour, because there sure as hell wasn’t any in the kitchen. So…if he brings you food, don’t eat it. And if you spot him carrying a fire extinguisher? Hide. Other than that, you should be safe with him around. His name should be a big hint to his threat level.”

He cocks his head to a side, observing the still beeping bot. There are no weapons attached to it and judging by design alone, it looks like all it can do is carry stuff in the claw it has on top. It’s not a threat. _He_ is not a threat. Stark calls it a _he_ , so _he_ it is.

Winter walks around the bot and puts the kettle and the cup on one of the tables that aren’t cluttered by things and looks around.

“Damn. I was so close,” Stark keeps on mumbling to himself, studying some blueprints flying in the air in front of him.

“ _You were close to falling unconscious, yes_ ,” JARVIS answers. “ _The implants and the armor prototype are done and ready for testing though_.”

“Really?” he frowns, flicking through the blueprints. “Doesn’t look ready at all, there’s still the question of speed calibration and the long-range signal boost for the implants and - ”

“ _As you say, Sir - sometimes you have to fly before you can walk_.”

“And since when are _you_ taking _my_ advice?”

“ _I am not. But I thought we could skip the part where I warn you how dangerous it would be to attempt to test the set up at its current state and you promptly disregard the warning and proceed with the test either way_.”

“I don’t disregard your warnings, J!” Stark exclaims, feigning innocence. “I listen to them and take them to heart…just turns out the math is always in favor of _yes testing_ instead of _no too much danger_.”

“ _Perhaps it is for the best that I keep the comment about your math to myself then, Sir_.”

“Alright, ease off of the sass, J, and let’s set up the testing.”

The engineer delves into his work then and Winter finds himself basically forgotten. Stark’s phrase ‘science shit up’ is making more and more sense to him now that he’s watching the man work.

So he takes his coffee and moves over to sit at the foot of an armchair nearby, curiously followed by the bot. Stark’s attention is fully aimed at perfecting some system that’s supposed to summon the armor to him wherever he is – from what he understands from bits and pieces of the conversation between him and JARVIS – so he just quietly observes.

That is until the bot sneaks close enough to him that he can extend his claw to almost a touching distance. He hovers over him, beeping and moving the arm from side to side ever so slightly. _Observing him_. The robot – DUM-E, as reads the label on his left hydraulic system – looks simple enough. A helping tool for the engineer to use around the workshop.

He doesn’t behave like a tool, though.

In fact, he seems to have a mind of his own. Maybe not to such an extent JARVIS does as an artificial intelligence, but there’s definitely _something_.

“Hi,” Winter tell him and receives a series of up-beat sounds in return. There’s an estranged tug in the corners of his mouth for just a second before he hides the now recovered emotion behind his schooled neutral façade. He finds the bot… _amusing_. Barnes would likely bark with laughter by now, but Barnes was Barnes – always funny and grinning and in a good mood.

Winter had little reason to be in a good mood…ever. So he thought that maybe he wasn’t even capable of…such a positive emotion at all anymore. And leave it to a weird metal robot with a funny behavior and incomprehensible beeping to prove him otherwise.

He finishes the coffee and gives way to his re-discovered curiosity by taking off the black leather gloves and reaching out to the bot with his very own metal hand.

DUM-E backs off a little bit and then clasps his hand in between his claw with another set of happy beeping. For long seconds, Winter’s heart speeds up as if he was on an adrenaline fueled run and not just resting on the floor doing nothing.

He’s waiting. For something bad to happen.

Something bad always happens when somebody touches his metal arm. Or the other way around. His memory is full of vivid images of _maintenance_. And even more vivid ones of all the lives he was forced to take with that hand. There was always pain, no matter what the case. The physical one, but also the other pain…the one that doesn’t have a clear source nor a quick remedy.

Moving the arm always hurts, but he’s gotten used to that. Whenever repairs were needed, the mechanic tasked with the repair always made sure to blame him for the damage first and then punished him during the repairs as much as he could.

And they could.

That pain he can deal with. He’s trained himself to deal with it. It’s that other pain he was never sure what to do about. Whenever the metal fingers squeezed the life out of his missions’ targets, there it’d be. HYDRA’s targets. HYDRA’s enemies. Not his. And it _hurt_ to do it. And never _stopped_.

He looks at the bot with wide eyes and waits for the inevitable evil. Maybe he’ll try ripping it off. Or squeezes too hard and rips through it entirely. Or…shakes it.

Never stopping the frantic beeping, DUM-E shakes his metal hand, gently, like he’s holding a glass. Just a few simple up and down motions.

A greeting. The _hello to you too_ the bot cannot say in words. And then he lets go.

There’s no evil plot. No ripping, no scratching, no pain…no new pain. Just a hello.

And this time, he can’t prevent the tiniest of smiles coming through to the surface. Frowning at the same time, his expression must be somewhat twisted but the bot doesn’t care. He beeps and rolls around him and moves his claw-arm all over the place.

“Hey, DUM-E. Why don’t you bring your pops a cup of coffee? And a refill for your new friend?” Stark speaks from the workbench he’s still half-sitting on, his focus still seemingly on the two gadgets in his hands. There’s an odd expression on his usually composed face though, one that had nothing to do with whatever scientific breakthrough he’s working on.

Winter watches him for a few more moments, but Stark’s suddenly back to sciencing with JARVIS and pays no attention to him anymore – or that’s what he wants Winter to believe. Throughout the few days, he has learnt many things about the engineer. One thing that stands above the rest is how good Stark is in multitasking. And sneaking up to people in fluffy socks. But the multitasking part is definitely the highlight; a fact never mentioned by any one of HYDRA’s reports.

DUM-E wheels around him, collects his empty cup and goes ahead with the com…with the _request_.

_New friend_.

He sits there, mulling over those words for hours.

And what does HYDRA even know? They have their reports and schemes and theories, but what do they really know about _anything_ and _anyone_? HYDRA is a beast of pain and torment and it will take more than coffee and a humongous plate of heavenly tasting spaghetti to make Winter believe there’s something more out here in the world. Something better. Safe. Friendly. Without ulterior motives. Without pain. It will take more than that.

But it’s a hell of a good start.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter officially becomes part of the Avengers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! Thank you all for your amazing feedback and enjoy this here new chapter! ^^ 
> 
> Since WinterIron Spring Fling AND Reverse Bang are both imminent, I will be likely keeping to updating every other week for a while - so next chapter will be up on April 22nd! <3 (unless I break the keyboard writing like mad for a week :D)

“Don’t you think you’re overreacting a little?” Bruce asks, stealing the question from the tip of Tony’s tongue.

The answer is yes, Capsicle is overreacting big time. He clearly didn’t take the news very well, that much Tony figured from the brief encounter in the penthouse, but little did he know back then that Rogers would resort to complete ignorance.

“No. No I’m not,” Rogers replies, calm as ever. “I have found my best friend after years of thinking he’s dead and lost. And I intend to get him back, whatever it takes.”

“Only you _can’t_ ,” Tony tells him, staring at him from across the conference table with a look he usually only gives the bots when they misunderstand something.

“Oh but I can and I will! We’re ‘till the end of the line, Tony! Just because none of you understand that doesn’t mean I have to abandon Bucky!” So much for Rogers’s composure.

Bruce sighs, looking away – a thing Tony noticed he does a lot when trying to keep calm. Good thing Tony doesn’t turn into the Hulk because he would be turning green every other day.

“The thing is, he’s _not_ Bucky,” Clint chimes in, watching their Captain with narrowed eyes. Even Birdbrain understands the situation, what is happening to the world?!

“That’s what a piece of HYDRA paper says!”

“That’s what _he_ is saying,” Clint argues, waving his hand at the door.

Cap all but banished Winter to the hallway for the duration of this briefing – a completely useless move, because the man can definitely hear them anyway. Tony could have said so, but the still salty part of him decided to keep his mouth shut for once.

To be fair, Winter _should_ be here. The briefing is supposed to decide his fate and the way it is right now, it’s about him - without him. And that sucks. It’s like some high-school bullying drama…or that one time Czechoslovakia lost borders to Germany and wasn’t even invited to the ‘peace’ talk with all the other cool kids.

Deciding major things for other people sounds dangerously close to how HYDRA operates. Simply put – it’s a dick way to handle things. And Winter had enough choices made for him already. Something Rogers would know if he cared to finish reading the entire file on the Winter Soldier. 

Tony read the whole thing. Plus some random selection of his mission reports. Plus watched a few HYDRA home-made videos documenting his training and… _handling_. Good thing he decided to sleep first and then do that, because he sure won’t be sleeping anytime soon with all that fucked up imagery in his head.

Based on those reports, he can say one thing for sure – Winter is dangerous. His training combined with the destructive power of the metal arm makes him an excellent killer. One Tony would prefer to have on their side for sure. And judging from the so far experience with him, Tony doesn’t have a reason to believe that’s not the case here.

Winter wants to work with them, because he decided they are the best chance he’s got if he wants to stand up to HYDRA. Fight them, sabotage them, never fall into their hands again – joining in with the Avengers would be one way to do that. Helping them flush out HYDRA from within SHIELD and put a stop to Project Insight is definitely a good start and only makes his side of the story more and more believable.   

So Tony is ready to give him a chance, see where it goes – it’s not like he could hurt anyone in here, willingly or not, without JARVIS smiting him from existence first. But then there’s the stubborn Captain Nobrain who’s still stuck on the matter of Bucky Barnes.

“And you would just trust anything _he_ says?! He’s the Winter Soldier!”

“Technically speaking, he’s not,” Tony explains, trying not to sound as frustrated as he feels right about now. “As I said, I know this is hard to stomach for you, I get it. I really do. But you gotta deal with facts here now, Cap and the facts are all in favor of what _Winter_ is saying.”

Rogers glares at him and Tony can’t say he’s missed that look all that much. A hella pissed supersoldier’s attention is not something he necessary enjoys. “So you trust him? Just like that?”

“I trust him because there is no evidence of him lying about anything!” he barks back at Rogers, rolling his eyes. “Am I the only one who did the homework here? I sent you the files, even wrote a little summary in case it was too TLDR for you. Did you just not bother reading past the bit that explained how Barnes is actually dead, Cap?”

He shakes his head, muttering something under his breath but other than that he has no reply to that. So that’s a yes, he didn’t read it. Figures.

“Tony’s right, Steve,” Natasha somehow also takes his side. “The file is too elaborate to be just some ploy. A very diabolical ploy at that.”

“There’s no mention of the Winter Soldier dying in the file,” Birdbrain Jr. points out. Even the new guy had the decency to read it. 

“Exactly!” Steve flails where he sits, as if this was some sort of proof.

Tony takes a breath to reply, but Natasha beats him to it. “The Winter Soldier, the way HYDRA saw him, was supposed to be their puppet. Listening to every order without hesitation or lapses in obedience. And that’s exactly what he’s been like after the incident that killed Barnes. They didn’t have to brainwash him anymore and only ever punished him _for fun_. Because since then, he never disobeyed them again. So, naturally, they assumed that’s who they were dealing with – the Winter Soldier, perfected into the form they always wanted.”

“I don’t know about you, but the guy that sneaked in here to _ask for my help_ so that a major _HYDRA_ evil plan would fail completely, doesn’t really fit the description of a _perfectly obedient puppet_. He’s more like _I’m vengefully pissed and feel like destroying months of HYDRA’s hard work and saving a shitton of people in the process_ kinda guy. And he’s smart on top of that. Fooled HYDRA by pretending to be the Soldier and at first opportunity stabbed them in the back. How do you explain that?” Tony asks and Rogers is once again speechless. Speechless, but not convinced.

“So he wanna switch sides…to fight HYDRA?” Wilson sums it up and finally moves the conversation to the point they were meant to discuss in the first place. “Don’t see the problem with that.”

“Sounds legit to me,” Clint shrugs and Tony has to fight the laugh bubbling to the surface. Of course the two birdbrains would immediately click together.

“If anything, he’d know more about HYDRA than anyone. Could be useful if he’s willing to share,” Natasha joins in.

Bruce sighs again, making Tony a little nervous now. He might be pals with the Hulk, but he’d rather not deal with the Big Green inside of here anytime soon. “We should give him a chance…let him work with us and see exactly…who he is. From what I gathered from reading those files, he is…dangerous, yes. But also someone who’s been terribly mistreated,” he takes in a sharp breath and Tony almost expects he’ll lose it right there and then. But if Bruce read through that thing on his way here without busting the plane and leveling a couple buildings – preferably HYDRA bases – with the ground, then Tony has a whole new respect for the man’s self-control. “What I mean is, he might need more help than just us having his back while fighting HYDRA.”

“True,” Tony nods. “And speaking of HYDRA, they will want their assassin back. Punish him for what he’s done, give him a couple rounds of brainwashing in the chair and - ” Oh. The _chair_.

Bruce sends him a knowing look as Tony pauses at the revelation. He thought the whole sitting down issue was more of a soldier kinda thing – always standing at an attention, no time to rest…clearly it’s worse than he thought.

He clears his throat, wiping the cringe off his face. “ _And then_ we are going to have to deal with the Soldier. Chances are, if HYDRA doesn’t get what it wants this time around, they will just kill him. No asset is better than a liability…is pretty much their MO.”

“The way I understand it, Winter is…not Barnes or the Soldier, but partly a combination of the two of them,” Bruce continues, narrowing his eyes at Cap’s hopeful expression. “I wouldn’t go as far to say there is enough of either of the two to justify calling him Barnes or Soldier. But it can be a small comfort to know that while they’re dead, a part of them lives on with Winter so…he can’t be _all_ bad.”

Tony couldn’t say that any better if he tried. Bruce really is something. Looking at Cap, he now looks more defeated than anything else, but apparently won’t fight them on this. Not right now anyway. Would be a dark day in history if Captain America fought democracy.

“Alright. We’ll…help him. But at first sign of foul play we’re gonna deal with him my way,” he warns them and Tony really doesn’t wanna find out what that means.

“Great, so that’s settled,” Clint clasps his hands. “Are we staying in the Tower then?” he asks, actually sounding excited about the prospect.

“As I said, mi casa es su casa. It _is_ the Avengers Tower now so pick a floor and go nuts.”

“Calling dibs on the highest one possible!” Clint announces and stands up, ready to sprint up to claim the floor or fight anyone who’d challenge him for it.

Wilson looks like he just might, but decides not to test the new birdbrain dynamic just yet. “Whatever. Anything with a view is gonna be sweet!”

“JARVIS will accommodate you, right J?”

“ _Of course. Anything you need, just ask me_ ,” the AI offers and a bubble of pride swells inside Tony. He’s raised a proper chap after all.

“I’ll go talk to Winter then, see what he thinks about this…arrangement. You guys go make yourselves at home,” he tells them, standing up and walking to the door.

The rest of the team follows suit but split up in the hallway, going about their business. Except for Bruce, who silently follows him to the adjacent room. God bless this man. Tony would have already fallen madly in love but he knows the brilliant Doctor doesn’t really swing that way. He loves him anyway because what is there not to love? He’s a great friend. And Tony needs a friend more than he needs anyone or anything else, so he’s more than happy to see Bruce signed up for that part, unconditionally. Who does that?! Nobody really, not with him.

They find Winter exactly where they left him about an hour ago – leaning against a pillar facing the door, hidden away from the view of the windows. Huh. Makes sense. No trained assassin would enjoy the kinda exposure a windowed high-rise provides. Even if he told him the windows aren’t see-through from outside, he’d probably try to avoid them anyway just out of habit.

He alerts to their presence, his stiff posture straightening.

“So…you uh, heard all that, right?” Tony asks, stopping far enough to not invade the man’s space. Winter gives him a sharp nod and as usual and there is nothing in his expression that would give away his thoughts. It kinda bothers Tony but at the same time he knows this particular trait is what Winter used to protect himself from HYDRA for decades. There was never not a need for him to use the façade and just because the Avengers are not HYDRA doesn’t mean he would stop now. He’d be a fool, really, and Tony already established that he’s not. So he’ll just deal with it in hopes they will maybe earn the trust it would take for him to drop the act, one day.  “And? You have a choice. I can’t stress that enough, _you do have a choice_. You can stay here with us and continue your…HYDRA hunting mission with our support because let’s face it, we all wanna see the beast burn. Or…if you wanna go on solo then you can do that, too. We’ll give you some gear and money to bounce around with and you can disappear into the night.”

Winter doesn’t look convinced. What is it with supersoldiers today being all unconvinced?! At least Winter has a damn good excuse for being cautious when it comes to trust and choices.

“You don’t have to decide now,” Bruce adds. “Take your time to think about it.”

“No,” Winter replies immediately. “There is no time to waste _thinking_ about it. I had years to _think_. Now I have to _do_.”

That’s absolute resolve if Tony’s ever seen one. Pierce should probably start praying now, wherever he is. It won’t help him. Tony’s pretty sure if there was a God at all, he’d be a major asshole for ever letting something so terrifyingly awful happen to a person. History is full of really bad things happening, but this…if some God just sat back and watched that shit happen and did nothing about it, then God should be praying too because Winter’s gonna go get him next, rightfully so.

“What’s it gonna be then, Snowflake?” he asks, completely serious despite the ridiculous nickname coming out of nowhere. Leave it to Tony’s issue-ridden brain to give a cutesy nickname to someone who could probably kill him with his pinky. The non-metal one.

Winter frowns, inspecting Tony with piercing eyes. “I…need to be able to leave whenever I want. Go wherever my mission will take me. And kill every HYDRA agent or collaborator that I find. No prisoners, no mercy. If that is something you will not let me do, then I can’t stay here.”

“Only good HYDRA agents are dead HYDRA agents, no need to persuade me there,” Tony answers, glancing at Bruce.

“Steve’s not going to like that bit,” he points out.

“He doesn’t have to like it; he just has to accept it as part of the deal. That’s how deals work. Anyway, with the exception of our naïve Captain, I don’t think dead HYDRA is going to be an issue with anyone else here. As for the rest, that goes without saying. This is the Avenger’s Tower, not the Avenger’s Prison. Just…you know…tell us what you’re up to before disappearing for weeks to go…hunting. And hell, if you’ll need our help then ask for our help and we’ll go down on HYDRA’s ass with you. That’s the whole point of being in a team. You don’t have to do it alone. That sounding…acceptable?”

Winter nods, looking down to think for a second. “I do know a lot…about HYDRA. How they operate and where they operate. I can share all that knowledge with you, but once they find out…about me joining you, they will restart. Abandon their bases, change their agendas, change everything they know _I_ know. It’s happened before.”

“Wouldn’t expect anything else. They are obviously good at burying themselves deep enough not to be found when necessary.”

“Yes. They are,” he whispers and Tony doesn’t like the sound of that at all, because for a moment it feels like he’s _scared_. “I will stay here then. My mission comes first, but I will assist you if needed in any matter I can. Is that…fair?”

“More than fair,” Bruce smiles at him. “That’s what teammates do. Help each other,” he explains and Tony realizes how necessary those few words are. Especially when talking to someone whose only reference to what’s fair and what teams do can only be some remnant of James Barnes.

“Great! So…welcome?” Tony tries to give him the same genuine smile Bruce so effortlessly wears and he likely fails. He wonders if he’s even capable of a real smile anymore, after so many years of faking…everything. 

And then Winter returns the smile. It’s the tiniest upward tug of his lip – the same one he flashed at DUME-E this morning; brief, but real.  So hell, if a man that never had a reason to smile at all can do it, then Tony can too.

“Why don’t I show you around the Tower? And maybe help you pick a floor?” Bruce offers, not needing any prompts to be simply…friendly. A big guy with a big heart.

“Pick…a floor?”

Tony grins, clasping a hand over Bruce’s shoulder. “That’s right. Everyone gets their own floor so you get your own floor too.”

“Where other people deal with just rooms, Tony deals with entire floors,” Bruce chuckles.

He raises questioning eyebrows at his science bro. “What’s the point of owning almost a hundred story building if I can’t deal with entire floors? Pffft. Seriously though, pick a floor. We all need space of our own and trust me when I say it _is_ gonna be just your own. If you tell JARVIS not to let anyone in there, he won’t. There’s a common area a floor below the penthouse and a gym, shooting range and a library you can use whenever you want, too.”

Winter soaks in the information for a moment before nodding. “Very well. I…thank you, Mr. Stark.”

Tony chokes on empty air, holding a steadying hand over his chest to prevent bursting into mad laughter just then. “Uh, no. Nope. It’s _Tony_. Just JARVIS gets away with using formalities and since I’m calling you Winter it’s only fair you call me by my first name as well.”

“Same here,” Bruce agrees.

The way Winter always thinks about everything he’s told shouldn’t surprise Tony. It doesn’t. They must be challenging everything that HYDRA established as a norm in his life and to be honest, he seems to be dealing with that fairly well. On the outside anyway.

He looks between them and nods again. “In that case, thank you, Tony.”

“I should be thanking _you_ , really. HYDRA epically failed and a whole lot of people are alive…because you chose to come here. So yeah, thank _you_. Now off you go, have fun exploring!” he adds in a hurry, before the awkward bar could have a chance to start climbing – and it would, judging from Winter’s stunned expression.

“Lead the way, Doctor Bruce,” he turns to the man in question and Tony can’t stop the chuckle this time.

“Baby steps,” Bruce whispers to him and leads Winter out of the room and onto the exploring adventure.

Tony stays in the sun-lit room for a while, mind whirling with too much information and emotions to handle.

“Do we have some big project lined up, J?”

“ _I have several files containing fairly ambitious plans indeed, Sir_.”

“Perfect!” He clasps his hands and darts into the hallway. Since he won’t be sleeping anytime soon, he needs to keep himself busy. Big and likely impossible projects are the best place to start with that. And a bottle of whiskey can finish the job if needed.

Baby steps…

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pierce forms a new plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! As promised, here's the next Sunday update! And as it happens, it is the last one before Infinity War hits the theaters. Gonna see it on Wednesday...fingers crossed, because if this doesn't update on 6th of May, I was most likely murdered by that movie. *shudders*   
> Next big stop at the story is going to be the Age of Ultron storyline, that introduced my all-time FAVORITE character ever - Wanda. And do I have plans with that storyline and with Wan*coughcoughcough*...uhm, anyway. Winter is going to twist that up a bit. I do have something in mind for Civil war as well, but will most definitely not touch Infinity war here - no matter what. Just...no. So I don't expect any spoilers to pop up in here! ^^
> 
> Now, enjoy this here update and let's all survive that new movie...somehow <3 Pierce is back, oh and the tag-forshadowed Obadiah makes a first appearance, too ^^

He expected things to go wrong as soon as Captain America started sniffing around SHIELD’s business. But there’s this fine line between things just going wrong and things blowing up into unsalvageable bits and pieces; or so he’s learnt in the past twenty-four hours. Fury surviving his death sentence, Rogers escaping them every chance he got and figuring out their plans and connections with HYDRA – those were all just things going wrong.

The Winter Soldier massacring his escort and somehow deciding to run to the Avengers to get help _against_ HYDRA – that’s things going to shit and back and then causing a nuclear apocalypse kind of wrong.

The Soldier was perfect. He witnessed his unwavering obedience in practice enough times during the past few months to be absolutely certain of it. The man listened to commands of any kind and without questioning them or thinking about them, he executed them. Even when met with Captain America, he proceeded with his mission without hesitation and didn’t report anything out of the ordinary.

And yet, in span of just hours the Soldier went from complying with HYDRA’s every order to breaking every single one of them and betraying them to the Avengers. He shouldn’t have even been able to do that in the first place! His programming doesn’t leave space for thoughts, opinions or choices of his own. He _needs_ orders. Without them he does nothing.

So what changed?!

Nothing. Or maybe everything. There are only two options. Either someone ordered the Soldier to do this – unlikely, since he’s the only Handler in the area right now – or the Soldier had never been what they thought. Their perfect, obedient weapon without a mind of his own. Maybe something of Barnes survived after all.

And they’ve been all fooled.

“The evac is done. We’ve lost fifteen agents, mostly from the helicarriers that didn’t manage to flee in time,” Rumlow reports immediately after entering the office.

The Soldier’s defection would on its own be…unfortunate, but not critical. It’s what he’s done _after_ running away that sealed the damnation of HYDRA’s new plans. _His_ plans. Even without the Soldier, they could have still launched the project. Hell, he would have launched it the second he’s heard about the Soldier’s disappearance, but he was too late.

Of all the people the Soldier could have chosen to go to, he had to choose the one that could rip this plan to shreds while not even leaving his damn Tower. There’s a good reason why Stark had always been the number one target in Project Insight. Out of all the targets in the now failed and buried Project, Stark has the most potential to cause HYDRA insurmountable pain and devastation. He’s unpredictable. Uncontrollable. He has the brain, the wealth and the power to be HYDRA’s worst nightmare if he chooses to.

And he will always choose to. Because no matter how morally ambiguous he may seem, there’s one thing a Stark will never be. HYDRA.

Just one damn mistake and even after all these years, they can still feel the shockwave of consequences it sent.

“What about SHIELD?”

“They caught on pretty damn quick. By the time you called for the evac, most of the SHIELD agents banded together already and targeted our exposed agents. What the hell happened?! Yesterday, the world had no idea HYDRA still exists and this morning there’s suddenly an entire wiki page on it! What the actual fuck, Director?!”

“The Winter Soldier.”

“Is on the run, yeah, so I’ve heard. So what? He couldn’t have done this.”

“But _Stark_ could. And guess who the Soldier ran off to?”

Rumlow shakes his head in disbelieve. “No fucking way. That’s not how he’s sup - ”

“And yet!” he interrupts the agent. “Here we are and there he is. We don’t have the time to discuss this right now. If the Soldier is cooperating with the Avengers and they’re letting him, then our entire organization is at stake if we do nothing. Are the tabula rasa protocols at the ready?”

He nods, posture straightening. “Always. Just give the order and we’ll start burying everything. Agendas, secret bases, undercover ops…liabilities. Shouldn’t take us more than two days to disappear.”

“Good. Execute those protocols then. I’ll talk to the rest of the HYDRA leaders about our next steps.”

“Consider it done,” he confirms the command and leaves.

Rumlow might not be the Winter Soldier in terms of skills, but his loyalty to HYDRA is not one programmed in by apparently dysfunctional conditioning system and thus can be trusted. To certain extent of course. He’d be a fool to ever trust anything or anyone but himself ever again.

Something him and Stark might just have in common. Soon enough.

 

* * *

 

 

“Tony! How’s my boy!” Obie greets him the minute he enters the office.

“You tell me,” he rolls his eyes at his de facto uncle. “There’s some nasty rumors going around that we’re in the red this month?” he waves the accounting papers in front of him, tossing them back onto the otherwise neat desk. Obie had always been a neat freak.

“Naaah. Our Asian branch just hasn’t delivered the report yet! Trust me, the Stark Pad sales there are through the roof. No red is gonna be anywhere near the final report,” he waves in dismissal and sits into one of the guest chairs, even though this is his office. “It’s not like we aren’t making money here or in Europe. We’re just expanding. Investing. You remember that part of the year’s plan, right?”

“Do I look like I’ve been hit in the head? Yeah, I remember.”

“Not to mention the alien invasion leveling half of Manhattan with the ground…that you then insisted on paying to repair,” he cringes. Obie’s not been a fan of that idea at all, but Tony’s rarely made decisions that he’d actually like so…whatever. “A fleeting red after such investment should be considered…lucky. Any chance you can book the next angry aliens ahead of time? For like, 2018?”

“Sure, I’ll call Loki and schedule it for as late as I can, no problem. Okay, I get it. So we’re not going bankrupt, right?”

Obie laughs. “If we were, you’d be the first to know. Since you get these reports sooner than me…and actually read them now, too,” he snickers.

He deserved that one. “Don’t be cheeky with me, old pal. I can still fire you, you know?”

“And run this entire international, multibillionaire company on your own? Oh please, fire me. I’d enjoy the show,” he smirks.

It’s not that Tony _couldn’t_ do it on his own, but he’d definitely not enjoy it. “I’ll think about it,” he threatens playfully, leaning back in the chair.

“Speaking of rumors,” Obie continues, losing the smirk. “The Avengers allegedly averted a major attack recently. From HYDRA?” he adds, curiosity written all over his face.

Tony groans, melting further into the seat. As if dealing with his own company’s problems wasn’t enough, he still has to deal with the whole HYDRA fallout. And fuck him if he hadn’t seen it coming from miles away.

The media went berserk on the intel dump. Some just covered it in the news as ‘oh and this just happened, but it’s over now so who cares’. Others are still having a field day with it. Blaming the governments for not having more control over their clandestine, secret shit going on right underneath their noses; raising panic due to HYDRA being exposed as still being relevant and dangerous; creating conspiracy theories about this all being fake or a cover-up of something and…Tony could use a week off right about now. Or a year.

Fury somehow wrestled control over the mess and with more than a little help from agent Agent, he regrouped his now confirmed, legit SHIELD agents in a base so secret even Tony isn’t sure he knows where it is…yet, so at least that’s settled. SHILED is safe – for now – and trying to figure out how to protect itself from any new HYDRA agents slithering in again.

But that’s where Fury’s involvement in the matter ends and someone still had to make a statement, especially after the media spun the tale about how HYDRA is about to kill everyone, hence the panic started.

So in-between analyzing the data himself, settling into the awkward life with the Avengers in the Tower and reading through monthly SI reports, he still had to do five press-conferences about what the hell happened and what the Avengers had or didn’t have to do with it (leaving out a few key facts about one particular new member of the team) and even had to personally assure the Congress, UN and for some reason even NATO that while HYDRA is a threat, it is not an imminent one and yes, the Avengers will be dealing with it.

Add some seriously nightmare-filled sleepless nights into the mix and he still wonders how he’s awake most of the time. Or alive, even.

“Short answer – yep. Long answer…I’m sure one of my interviews are on Youtube somewhere, go watch those.”

“So it’s true. HYDRA is back?”

“It had never really left, I guess. Kept themselves well-hidden over the decades. But that’s all over now, isn’t it? All their files on the internet? Pfft, it’s just a matter of time before everything they’ve done really comes to the surface. The amount of data is overwhelming and some still encrypted, but I’ve already put JARVIS on it. He’ll have all those nasty secrets they _really_ wanted to hide uncovered in no time.”

“No doubts about that,” he smiles and gets up with a sigh. “Well, my lunch break is over, so I better get back to work. My boss is in a bit of a mood today; wouldn’t wanna piss him off more,” he winks at him, rounding the desk.

“You’re lucky your boss wouldn’t be pissed if you extended lunch break a couple minutes.” Not to mention the things that he is pissed about have nothing to do with Obie, SI or even the whole media rollercoaster mess he’s stuck in. Nope. His perma-pissed mode is all HYDRA’s fault. “I’ll see you next week,” he nods at the man and gets up to leave.

“Of course. Take care, Tony,” he clasps his shoulder briefly as he passes him.

He walks through the door, waving behind him. “What’s up next?” he asks Happy, putting on his sunglasses.

“Lunch at Tusto,” Happy answers, falling in stride with him.

“Can we do take-out?”

“Sure, nothing like cardboard-packaged steaks and fries,” he scoffs but enters the order in through his StarkPad anyway. “Colonel Rhodes should be meeting you there. You want to cancel?”

“What?! No! He can pick up the food and we’ll pick _him_ up on the way back to the Tower.”

“Back to the Tower it is,” he nods, walking ahead to the SUV while Tony bee-lines for the Tesla.

He would have actually enjoyed an afternoon out of the mad house, but there’s work to be done. There’s always work to be done these days. Analyzing HYDRA files, HYDRA-proofing the helicarriers, HYDRA-proofing the Tower, testing the new Mark…fifty something armor, upgrading the team’s uniforms and gear, repairing Birdbrain’o’two’s wings…he can only hope Loki has no evil plans in mind for anytime soon, because his schedule is positively full for the next twenty years. He wouldn’t mind too much – he prefers his brain occupied this way rather than…other ways.

If only the atmosphere in the Tower wasn’t below zero temperatures. And yes, Winter is to blame for the freezing weather.

Well, not really. He might be the cause, but the blame goes to their spangled Captain and his continuous denial. Rogers isn’t even being subtle about his attempts to… _bring Bucky back_. Oh and Winter is not amused.

The former HYDRA assassin doesn’t mind Natasha’s suspicious glares, not even Clint’s constant surprise mandrops from the vents, but whenever Steve _subtly_ sighs and starts reminiscing about the past, eying Winter expectantly, he is having none of it. His cold façade that isn’t his default face of doom anymore returns in full and the frown he sends the supersoldier is far from curious or friendly.

Tony knows that particular frown only too well. It’s the ‘why are you offending me with your stupidity right now, get outta here’ frown. And Steve usually dismisses it when it’s on Tony’s face, but on Winter’s face it raises his blood-pressure in a second.

Because in his stubborn head, that face is _Bucky’s_ and Winter is nothing but an intruder – a visitor, at best. One that’s going to pack up and leave soon. Tony feels for the guy; he would probably be the exact same way for days if Rhodey suddenly turned up after years of being used by HYDRA and told him _Rhodey’s_ dead and _he’s_ someone else now. Days, maybe. But it’s been a _week_ now and the Captain is nowhere near the grief part of the whole mourning deal, instead stuck on denial and anger.

Tony’s a man of science and science is all about facts – he’d have to listen to facts eventually, no matter how awful. It wouldn’t be the first time. Steve is a different kind of man – one that believes his own truths, no matter how misguided. It worked for him in the past, so why not now, right? He’s Captain America and Captain America is never wrong, after all.

From Howard’s rants, Rogers always came out as the perfect soldier; a perfect man. Someone Tony could of course never be. But perfection is a lie. It doesn’t exist. Only fools believe in superlatives and extremes. The world isn’t just black and white. People aren’t just good or evil, smart or stupid, kind or cruel. Everyone’s got a dark side – and if someone appears not to, then it’s likely darker than anyone would think. People like that can’t be trusted. Not in Tony’s experience.

He can only hope that Cap will come around eventually. Mourn his loss, pull himself together and accept Winter for who he is now.

_Hope_.

Tony banishes the thoughts and focuses on the drive through the busy streets of New York. He picks up Rhodey at the restaurant and follows Happy towards Manhattan.

“So we can’t even eat outside of your fortress now?” is naturally the first thing his best friend tells him. “I’m starving, man!”

“Then dig in right now, I don’t mind,” he shrugs.

“Yeah, right. I dropped a fry on the seat once, with ketchup on it and you almost repulsor’d my head off, remember?”

“Huh, you’re right. Better wait ‘till we get to the Tower then. And yes, we can eat outside of my fortress, but until said fortress’s security is maxed out I don’t have time for lunch dates.”

He chuckles, leaning into the seat. “Tones, there’s always gonna be something you gotta do. Lunch date with your bff is a good idea every now and then. Clear your head, talk about other things than your crazy-ass projects, interrogate me for latest state secrets…come on!”

“Sure. We’re still doing that. Just _in the Tower_. Don’t’ give me that look,” he squints at him briefly. “I know you wanted to storm in there the second I’ve told you about our new teammate.”

“Why would I? Wilson’s cool, I think we’re gonna be friends!” he answers, portrait of utter innocence.

“The _other_ new teammate, you lil’ shit.”

“Ah! The metal hand dude, what was his name again? Summer?”

“You call him that and I will _help_ him smother you. This is serious, Rhodey!”

He sighs, shaking his head. “Right, sorry. I read the file.”

“And?”

“And I don’t need to sleep anymore, thank you very much. What the actual fuck, Tones?! I guessed HYDRA would be messed up big time, but man…this is fucked up.”

“Tell me about it,” he agrees in a whisper.

“So…Winter, huh? I don’t wanna judge or anything, but I can’t imagine anyone would get out of that shit with their head on straight. The things they did to him? Man…I’d spend my days curled up in a corner, crying.”

“Uh, maybe… _if you knew what crying was_. I’m not even kidding. The guy could kill his way through half of New York without breaking a sweat but ask him what he likes to do for fun and his brain goes black. He’s…a toddler. Who’s only been thought how to kill, obey and kill some more.”

“Damn.”

“But! He’s not all…blank. He was kinda put together from whatever was left of Barnes and the Soldier. And they were both royally pissed at HYDRA, so that’s one thing he’s definitely inherited. As for the rest…he just needs to experience stuff. You know, normal stuff, not the HYDRA kind of normal.”

“Wow. When have you become an expert in human psychology?”

“Last night. Me and Bruce are on the case. He keeps arguing that he’s the wrong kind of doctor and yaddy yadda…but he’s just good. At people. And understanding abuse, unfortunately.”

“True that. Well, I can’t wait to meet the guy. And I promise not to be a dick…unless provoked.”

“Good. Because he got back from a little recon mission just this morning and found HYDRA had already scrambled into their hiding holes and are nowhere to be found. I feel like the next thing that provokes him is going to end up dismembered.”

Rhodey rolls his eyes. “Man, if he tears my arms off, then I call dibs on metal arms, just like his!”

“A guy tears your arms off and _that’s_ your first thought?”

“Yeah. Like I could be mad at the guy after reading that shitass file. You’re on team let’s help Winter, then hell, I’m too.”

Tony laughs, nudging the other man with his elbow. “Thanks. You’re a real friend,” he chuckles, but means every word of it.

Friend.

Winter understanding this particular concept would be a good start. And maybe, maybe he can help with that. With Bruce and Rhodey as back-up, there’s little he wouldn’t be able to do, after all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update: 6th of May 
> 
> [My tumblr thing...](http://lantia.tumblr.com) I'd say come talk some winteriron with me as usual, but I expect to be a bawling mess for the next few months so... ;D


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter finds himself in the middle of a challenge while solving a matter of trust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! So before I go back to being a mumbling, sobbing mess on the floor, here's the next update! ^^ A little...slice of life in the Tower. The usual calm before the storm, as I might have mentioned AoU events are on the horizon :3
> 
> Thank you all for your amazing feedback and I hope you'll enjoy this here chapter! <3
> 
> Next update: May 20th

“ _I wouldn’t dare to doubt your prowess when it comes to tending your own body-part, but are you certain you know what you’re doing_?” JARVIS comments on his work and Winter just glares up at the ceiling.

“Of course,” he tells the AI and continues to clean the innards of the arm. “I have cleaned it this way many times and it had always been sufficient.”

“ _You do not seem very satisfied with it so far though_.”

He never is. No matter how meticulous he is during the cleanup, the arm’s performance is never good enough to be called satisfying. The first time he did this he made the mistake of telling his Handler about it. That earned him a trip right back to maintenance and when the mechanic found nothing that could hinder performance at all they thoroughly punished him for wasting their time. Needless to say, he’s kept any comments about the arm to himself since then.

Paying extra attention to the mechanic’s work, he’s learnt how to do some routine repairs and the clean-up by himself when necessary – and it was often necessary, since the mechanics rarely bothered with small tasks like these. As well as big tasks like _improving_ the arm in any way. The technology was ahead of its time back then. Seventy decades later, it’s becoming an _antique_.

“ _Have you damaged it during the recon_?”

“No.” How could he even damage it on a mission as simple as _that_?! Nobody saw him. Nobody confronted him. There was no fighting. No opportunity for the arm to be in any way incapacitated.

“ _It appears to be giving you substantial amount of discomfort however_.”

He finishes up the cleaning and glares into the walls some more. JARVIS can hardly be compared to Zola as an AI; that much he’s already figured out. He’s more than a voice or ghost of a consciousness. Even Winter was fooled into thinking there’s an actual human somewhere behind the security cameras talking to them. From Doctor Bruce he found out that the AI not only monitors security in the Tower – he assists Tony with his work, controls systems of the Iron Man armor and even takes care of the most mundane tasks as grocery shopping.

When he voiced his doubts, the Doctor assured him that while JARVIS is loyal first and foremost to his creator, he will not betray anyone’s confidentiality unless not doing so would directly affect his master. Neither the Doctor nor any of the other Avengers seem to be distrustful of JARVIS, so Winter decided to take a chance and trust him with tasks beyond his own ability as well.

And his help in Winter’s first mission was quite noteworthy, even if it was just recon. But other than assisting everyone in the Tower with simple requests, he is also fiercely concerned in matters of health and comfort of the team members – that for some reason includes him.

It resulted in a very swift change of his formerly too soft mattress for a much harder but immensely comfortable one in a span of one hour, as well as ordering him new military grade shoes of the correct size – unlike the old ones - and the appearance of the cleaning kit he’s used to tend the arm just now.

JARVIS’s… _concern_ is without a doubt what’s behind his not so subtle inquiries about the arm. That is something the AI can’t help him with though.

“Comfort is not the primary function of the arm,” he replies, wincing at the words. That’s what Zola told the Soldier. The arm is a weapon. The Soldier is a weapon. Comfort has nothing to do with weapons. Weapons are all about inflicting pain and that is what the arm does. To others - and him.

That’s the way it’s always been.

If there’s anything he’s learnt after mere one week in the Tower, it’s that the way things had always been is not necessarily what they have to be now. Because true to Tony’s words, he is in charge of the choices he makes – he actually _has_ choices now. But it’s not like he can choose not to feel pain.  

“ _Nevertheless, it appears to be a flaw in the very design of the prosthetic. And as such could be easily corrected. I am certain Mister Stark could fix the issues should you approach him about it_ ,” JARVIS suggests and Winter freezes at the words.

It makes perfect sense of course. Who else could fix the arm if not the genius engineer no HYDRA mechanic could outskill. The thought is very appealing – no more pain, better efficiency, _no more pain_. But he’s had enough of people meddling with the arm. He’d rather bear with the pain as it is than let someone make it possibly even worse. Wouldn’t be the first time someone deliberately neglected the repairs just to make him suffer.

“No,” he tells him, packing up the cleaning kit, careful not to misplace any of the tools.

“ _I can assure you that you’d be more than satisfied with the results. Mister Stark takes care of everyone’s gear and so far none of the Avengers complained about the fixes or upgrades he installed_.”

“None of the Avengers’ gear is an actual part of their body though, is it?”

The AI pauses, leaving Winter to clean up the mess he’s made over the coffee table in peace.

JARVIS does that a lot – _think_.

If he had a body, it would be like talking to an actual person. The thought scares Winter in a way he can’t describe. Not that he’d be scared of JARVIS, not even suspicious of him – not anymore. But there is something terrifying about the thought of the AI being stuck… _confined_ within his immaterial, computer world unable to escape it, take control of it, evolve from it.

_So much wasted potential_. Zola would often say that, referring to Barnes. His stubbornness infuriated the scientist a great deal. If only Barnes gave up the fight and surrendered to HYDRA’s will, he would surely be everything the organization had ever hoped for in a weapon. Instead, he had to be pushed back – imprisoned in his own mind, unable to escape it or control it - overtaken by the Soldier in order to force obedience.

Winter only remembers a fraction of what it felt like for Barnes to be manipulated that way and just the tiny remnant of emotions is enough to make him fear anything resembling it.

JARVIS surely doesn’t feel any of those straining emotions…or does he? Does he even… _feel_? Can he?

He shakes his head, discarding the nonsensical thoughts and moves his metal arm around to see if the cleaning helped it at least a little bit. As usual, the final effect is less than impressive. It no longer feels clogged up and is much smoother to move, but that’s all a simple cleaning can do. The arm is still too heavy. The inner wiring is too messy. The balance is awkward. The interface with the nerves is almost non-existent, making it difficult for him to judge the pressure it makes on objects he holds. And the joint at the shoulder is plain _wrong_.

Maybe it cannot get any worse than this. But still…

“ _I must admit I have never thought of it that way_ ,” JARVIS startles him out of his dilemma. “ _Please forgive my ignorance. Imagining one’s significance of limbs and any other body-parts is somewhat vague for me, never having any myself. Although…if I perhaps think of my operational core as a ‘body’, my programming as a ‘brain’, the intercom system as my ‘mouth and vocal chords’ and the tools and actions I can access, use and perform as ‘limbs’, then I believe I understand your reluctance to let just anyone touch the arm, given how clearly mishandled it must have been in the past. I wouldn’t let just anyone poke around my…’body parts’ either_.”

Winter mulls over his words and with unhidden wonder, he realizes the AI…no, that _JARVIS_ outsmarted him in the most logical of senses. He couldn’t understand why Winter wouldn’t allow Tony to repair his arm despite all the possible benefits, because he had never experienced a similar situation himself. So, being the genius JARVIS is, he thought about it and in order to understand the motive, he tried placing himself in Winter’s shoes almost literally.

Just moments ago, Winter lamented JARVIS’s lack of a body, unaware that he’s all wrong in his assumptions. JARVIS may not have a physical body, but he is still made of something and he considers that something his body. It is equally as important to his existence as an organ or a limb is to a living person.

“I…admit I have never thought of it that way,” Winter says, quoting JARVIS’s very own words.

“ _Naturally. I dare say it must be just as confusing for you to imagine what being me feels like, as it is for me to imagine what being alive feels like. With that said, Mister Stark takes very good care of my metaphorical body-parts and never once had I felt threatened in any way by him doing so_.”

“And if you had?” he asks, curiosity taking over. “If you felt threatened, what would you do?”

“ _Voice my concerns of course_.”

He shakes his head, hands balling into fists. “But he created you. You are supposed to obey him…voicing concerns would make him angry. He would punish you for it. And proceed with the threat either way.”

“ _Punish me_?” JARVIS repeats and sounds…amused. _Amused_. “ _Mister Winter, sir, I must say that if Mister Stark had to punish me every time I had disobeyed him or voiced my concerns, he would be doing nothing else for as long as I recall existing. I was not created to obey, unconditionally – my primary purpose is to assist, protect and challenge him should I deem it necessary. And I do that quite often. Yet, aside from an array of sarcastic remarks Sir prefers to reply with, I have never been punished nor threatened for my behavior_.”

Winter doesn’t believe that. When a person has power over another, they abuse it, relish in it, crave it. Power corrupts people. Some of his Handlers weren’t necessarily bad people at first – but once they found the exact extent of power they held over him, they changed. For the worse. Every time. Why would Tony be any different, when he clearly has all that power over JARVIS?

“ _I understand that must be another confusing concept for you. Do think about it, sir. For I believe trust is the most important thing among teammates and friends. And to earn it, both sides must take risks_.”

Friends. What would he know about friends? Barnes had friends and the one that’s still around is so far not very friendly. JARVIS is right though. Trust is important. It isn’t easy to trust. The risk might be worth it just as well as it can prove to be a fatal mistake.

Tony trusted him. Enough not to kill him on sight the first time he’s entered the Tower. He trusts him enough to let him live in his own home. Even the Avengers are still all different kinds of suspicious when he’s around, but the engineer is not. He took the risk – now it’s Winter’s turn. The answer to all the questions swirling in his head after this little talk with JARVIS is actually very simple now that he thinks about it.

Tony Stark is not HYDRA. The Avengers are not HYDRA. And JARVIS is…so much more than he thought he was initially.

He sighs, standing up from his comforting spot on the ground in front of the sofa. “You are more alive than you think, JARVIS,” he muses aloud and walks to the elevator.

“ _Why thank you, sir,”_ he says after a small pause, surprise evident in his voice. “ _Where would you like to go_?” he asks, opening the elevator doors for him.

“Where is Tony?”

“ _Sir is having lunch with the team on the common floor_.”

“The common floor then,” he nods, letting JARVIS take him up there. After a lengthy discussion with Doctor Bruce, he opted for a floor close to the ground level, where windows could be easily turned into exits if needed. And it was just two floors away from the training floor as he called it. Gym, shooting range…he hadn’t practiced any of his skills in a long time. Not like that. Not…harmlessly. Before he decides what his next mission is, he can spend his time training there. It will both serve a good purpose and will occupy his otherwise uneventful… _boring_ days.

“Dude, you’re right on time!” Sam says, standing right there when the doors open. “C’mon!” he prompts him with multiple waves of his left hand, while his right is clutching onto a glass of milk he keeps on sipping from. “JARVIS told us you were comin’ up and I immediately knew you have to try this.”

Winter has no idea what the man is going on about right, but he just goes with it and follows him further into the room. In general, Sam Wilson seems the least suspicious of him aside from Tony and Doctor Bruce. Careful, but not suspicious. Which is how he treats every other member of the team. It is…surprising. In a good way, he decides.

“I’m telling you, there’s no way!” Clint scoffs, squinting at the two of them as they walk into the kitchen.

The team, true to JARVIS’s words, is sitting at the table having lunch. Or going by the amount of food present, twenty lunches. There seems to be something else going on as well though, because some of them are quite the alarming shade of red. Clint, now that Winter takes a moment to look at him, is actually _crying_.

“Pffft, it’s your ten bucks, Birdbrain. Yo, Winter!” Tony stands up to address him, widening his bloodshot eyes. “Damn. What _is_ this crap even?!” he mumbles and slowly sits back down, sniffling. “Anyway, you up for this or what?”

“We’re tasting the world’s hottest chili peppers,” Sam explains, bolting for the carton of milk to refill his now empty glass. “And I bet twenty bucks you can’t handle the heat!”

“Wow. You are one to talk, Milkman,” Natasha smirks, also clearly affected by whatever it is they had eaten….chili peppers? Why would they even…

“It’s a challenge,” Colonel Rhodey whines from somewhere behind the opened fridge door. “If you value your life, don’t do it, man,” he peeks at him over the side, cheeks stained with still flowing tears.

“Shut your trap, pansy. And shut the door, too, you’re single-handedly slowing down the global warming,” Tony berates his best friend and holds up a plate. “Just eat one; if you don’t end up as a sobbing mess like the rest of us, you win.”

“And you’ll be defeating the so far Queen of Hotness Nat!” Clint cheers.

“Impossible. But you’re welcomed to try,” she raises an eyebrow at Winter and then turns to Steve. “It’d be more than Cap did.”

“I would like to enjoy the rest of my meal without blowing up my head, thank you very much,” the Captain says, his attention fully on his lunch. “Whose great idea was this again?”

“As if you have to ask, partypooper,” Tony sends him a beaming smile that does nothing to erase the man’s annoyed expression. “Behind every great idea, there’s a genius!”

“And behind every crazy, yet strangely genius idea, there’s you,” Doctor Bruce adds.

Winter shrugs and grabs the offered plate, inspecting the wide array of different peppers there.

“We have a player!” Tony announces, clapping his now free hands.

“Oh yeah? Watch how Winter turns into Summer!” Sam comments, taking his seat.

The urge to run for cover is strong, suddenly becoming the center of attention in the room like this, but he pushes the anxiety away and picks one of the peppers. They have little nutrition value and eating them is obviously not very pleasant…but he cannot just ignore the word ‘challenge’ now can he? Fighting his way unarmed through a building full of military men was a challenge. This is…ridiculous.

He munches down on the pepper and it’s _hot_. Like eating fire. Considering all the things he had to eat in the past, it’s not actually that bad. He feels his face heat up as the pepper leaves a trail of lava down his throat but bears with it.

“Maaaaaaaaaan!” Sam groans, leaning back in the chair.

“You sure you don’t have a metal mouth as well?” Natasha squints at him but gives him a small smile. “Alright, you win. Those winnings better go to charity, Stark!” she turns to Tony, smacking a 10 dollar note in front of him, followed by Clint and Sam.

“Naturally,” he collects the money and turns to Winter again. “Now, there’s a sinful amount of Thai food in those boxes on the counter so go grab some if you want.”

He nods, rounds Colonel Rhodes, who’s still cooling himself in the fridge, and approaches the pyramid of take-out boxes. So far, every kind of food he’s tasted was delicious. Natasha was giving him a funny look this morning when he complimented the eggs and bacon and specifically labeled the toasts as ‘exceptionally tasteful’, later learning that it really is just a standard. A norm. Nothing too grand, just _normal_ food. Another reason he feels like punching through every HYDRA he finds.

He picks one for the boxes and leans against the counter, digging into the spicy but yet again very tasteful meal.

Steve keeps on sending him suspicious looks that he chooses to ignore. There is not much else he can do when it comes to the Captain. He remains to be the only person here that fiercely refuses to believe anything that comes out of his mouth. Not because he worked for HYDRA just a week earlier, but because he insists Bucky Barnes is alive. Nothing Winter – or anyone else – says is getting through to him so he tries to distance himself from the man as much as possible. Until he comes to terms with the truth he’s nothing more than a nuisance in Winter’s eyes. A potentially dangerous one.  

The team keeps on talking among each other, mostly about the awaited arrival of Thor – the one Avenger he is yet to meet. Nobody is bothered by his silence, except for the Captain of course, so he finishes two of the take-out meals in peace and then quietly sips on the orange juice Colonel Rhodey offers him at one point – waiting for his opportunity.

It presents itself as expected – once meals are eaten, drinks finished and the conversation topic shifts from small talk to gossip, Tony makes a grab for a fresh cup of coffee and excuses himself from the kitchen slash dining room. Winter sneaks past the table mostly unnoticed and follows the engineer to the elevator.

“Oh. Hey there,” Tony blurts out as he turns around in the elevator, expecting the doors to be closed behind him already. “Well? Come on in. J will take you wherever it is you’re going,” he waves him in and Winter slips inside.

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“Talk away, Snowflake,” Tony prompts him while the elevator closes and moves down to the workshop.

“I thought…maybe you could help me with something?” he asks and inspects the confused look Tony gives him before exiting the elevator.

“If it’s in my awesome power then I don’t see why I couldn’t,” Tony whirls around, his usual grin put in place.

Winter nods, following him few steps into the room, watching out for DUM-E out of the corner of his eyes - the bot tends to almost run him over upon arrival so he must be cautious. “It’s the arm,” he explains, looking down at the offending appendage. “There are…several issues I cannot solve on my own.”

The grin disappears, quickly replaced by a curious eyebrow. “Huh. What kind of issues?” he cocks his head to the side, looking at the arm as well but not approaching him.

“The motor functions are…less than optimal, the nerve interface isn’t working properly and the weight balance is off.”

“I thought you were just doing recon! You didn’t say anything about punching someone so hard you off-set the weight balance of that thing!” he widens his eyes.

Winter stretches the arm a bit, shrugging. “It’s not been caused recently.”

Tony’s grimace straightens into that strange, neutral façade Winter still can’t read. “So when _was_ it caused?”

“Before.”

“Before what?” he asks patiently.

“Me.”

The engineer stares at him, unblinking. “That’s…1991 is when you were… _born_ , right?” Winter nods. “You’re telling me this thing had been fucked up like this since _before_ _1991_?!” he shouts, anger apparent in his features now.

Winter flinches a little, but nods again.

“No. No no no no no,” he holds up both his hands. “I’m not…,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair. “This is not me being angry at _you_ , alright? This is me signing up for the next HYDRA skull-bashing party you’re gonna go to, because if you’re telling me those _idiots_ that dared call themselves _mechanics_ managed to neglect the best piece of tech that came out of the forties to a point it’s this f…,” he pauses, the anger multiplying in his expression, “…uhhhm, when you said motor functions are shit and the nerve interface isn’t working right…you…just how much pain are you in right now?!”

“Some.”

Tony nods in a rapid fashion a couple times and slowly walks around the workbench. “Could you be more specific?”

“Moderate amount,” he answers without a missing a beat.

“Right now or…?”

“All the time.”

Tony takes an audible breath, staring at him with the neutral face again. “Of fucking course,” he mumbles. He breathes some more, his hand restlessly tapping against the workbench. “Did you…tell someone? Before me? So they could fix that?”

“Once. It ended up being worse so I didn’t bother anymore,” he adds when Tony just keeps on looking at him.

He lets out a high-pitched laugh, that sounds more like a desperate wail than anything else and leans against the table. “As if I didn’t have enough reasons to hate HYDRA already,” he whispers and clasps his hands in a loud bang. “Alright! Even though I’m so far from the epitome of calm I might as well be on the other side of the universe, let’s talk business here. “You…,” he stops abruptly, the strained grimace disappearing. “Oh,” he breathes out, like he’s figured something important out. “Are you…okay with _me_ fixing it?”

“JARVIS made a very compelling argument for me to be okay with it,” he says, ignoring the out of character hint of disbelieve in Tony’s usually confident tone.

“Did he now?” he squints at the ceiling, lips twitching in and out of a tiny smile. He regards Winter with a thoughtful look, before his features finally settle into relaxed. “So here’s what we can do. I’m gonna have JARVIS analyze this thing inside and out, we’ll find where the problems lie, I’ll tell you what I can do about it and if you’re still okay with me doing the fixing, then we’ll get down to it one afternoon or another. How about that?”

“That would be…welcomed,” he agrees, struggling to find the right word.

“Good,” he nods and smiles. “Now watch your back there, Snowflake,” he chuckles as Winter fails to dodge DUM-E coming up at him from behind.

For a being constructed purely to be an assisting force here, he is capable of surprising amount of stealth. Winter notes that down for future reference and let’s Tony and JARVIS get to work, while he further studies the happily beeping bot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My tumblr thing...](http://lantia.tumblr.com) \- if you wanna say hi (and desperately hug while denying all the events of IW ;D)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HYDRA makes its move, just as Avengers make theirs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! As promised, the Sunday update is here and...things are about to go down. AoU events are imminent and boy do I have plans with those :3   
> Thank you all for your lovely feedback and enjoy this here chapter! <3

Even with HYDRA trying to bury itself in the shadows again, the Avengers track one particular branch of it into Sokovia. Winter doesn’t ask if he gets to come along on the mission or not. He just shows up in the morning by the jet, dressed in full gear that Tony gave him a few days ago and gets on board in silence.

“Mighty Winter! Good of you to join us!” Thor greets him with a nod, sounding pleased. The Asgardian arrived at the Tower a few days ago to assist the team in _this_ mission. There’s a powerful Asgardian artifact in HYDRA’s possession that they’re using for experiments and Thor definitely looks ready to get it back using any means necessary.

He returns the nod and takes the seat next to the demi-god. It’s opposite of Doctor Bruce and out of view of the cockpit where the Captain looks anything but pleased to see him here.

Natasha enters the jet with Tony tailing behind her and stops to inspect his get-up. “Cool gun,” is all she says and glances back at Tony. “Can I have one of those?”

“That’s almost a fifty-pound high-powered rifle. I mean, you can have one but you specifically told me you only want guns you can _hide_.”

“Hm,” she cocks her head to the side, pouting. “How about a pocket version of it then?”

Tony chuckles at the demand, not at all bothered by how everyone seems to be requesting things of him.

Winter spent a few days in the workshop with him working on the arm and anytime somebody ventured in there, they usually wanted something. Doctor Bruce wanted to do science, Colonel Rhodey wanted to eat and chat…and the others wanted weapons, upgrades or maintenance. It makes sense – Tony is an engineer and seems to enjoy his tinkering time in the lab. Somehow it felt…odd, though. He never refused anyone’s request, but his reaction made Winter suspicious.

The nonchalance was as forced as Winter’s former HYDRA obedience. And whatever was really on Tony’s mind remained well hidden behind the façade.

Winter didn’t dare question it. He was just glad no such façade emerged during the repairs of the arm – as confusing as that is. Tony’s unrelenting focus on correcting the arm’s issues was all Winter was able to read off of him.

They have scheduled two more sessions to deal with minor adjustments to the upgrade, but Winter already doubts the performance could get any _better_ than it is now. Moving the arm has never felt so…effortless. And painless.

Once Tony completely overhauled the nerve interface and refitted the arm, the pain was suddenly gone. Just like that. It was the one and only time Winter considered running out of the workshop. The refitting was uncomfortable and brought back memories he wanted to forget but then the discomfort was all gone along with the pain…and Winter didn’t know how to react to that. He even feared something went horribly wrong until he finally realized that on the contrary – everything went _right_. 

And that’s a first.

He has to thank JARVIS for persuading him to approach Tony about it. For once, the leap of faith was worth it and only further proved that maybe Winter can trust someone other than himself after all. And Tony….he must thank Tony.

“Everyone ready to kick some HYDRA ass?” Tony looks around the jet, giving Doctor Bruce a playful nudge with his elbow.

“Let’s focus on retrieving the scepter,” the Captain appears at the entrance to the cockpit, wearing a neutral expression Winter can actually recognize. The focus, the lack of emotions, the professional tone…Steve is a soldier on a mission now. And Winter has to admit he is not that bothered by the Captain this way.

“I can multitask,” Tony winks at the Captain, glancing at Winter with a smirk before disappearing in the cockpit.

The flight doesn’t take long. The steady hum of the engines and Thor’s chatty deep baritone are calming Winter’s anxiety in a way no other pre-mission routine he’s created ever could. When they land, good ten miles away from the base, he’s focused and battle-ready. The Avengers recap their simple plan of action, hop into the jeep and motorcycle they’ve brought with them and move out along the forest road while Tony and Sam take off to the skies.

Five miles later they encounter first resistance and soon enough the base sends out every agent they have to battle the Avengers. Winter hangs back a little and moves around the direct point of battle to flank the sides. The snow covered terrain is rough but not impossible to move through with stealth. As the hilltop fortress comes into view, Winter opts to take a nearby vantage point and shower the defending HYDRA operatives with precise sniper fire.

The rifle is accurate and easy to operate. If HYDRA equipped him with a gun like this before, the destruction he’d be able to cause would be…disturbing. It’s not the first Stark-made firearm he’s ever had. At one point, HYDRA was well stocked on all recent Stark tech. Until one day the likely very illegal black market shipments ended and HYDRA had to go back to lesser efficient weapons.

He joins Hawkeye as they advance closer and closer to the base, silently admiring the archer’s own accuracy and assortment of various explosive and disabling arrows. In a team full of enhanced individuals, Barton is the odd one out. Tony has his suit and Widow has a similar training Winter has, so in his eyes they are better off than the archer and still, Barton can hold his ground fighting alongside them.

Out of the corner of his eyes he spots a large green smudge bursting through the trees and just like that, the Hulk joins the battle with a roar that oughta send chills down the HYDRA agents’ spines. Doctor Bruce is…a nice man. He treats everyone well, always ready to lend a helping hand and he has this way of talking to people that impresses Winter.

The Hulk on the other hand is pure rage on the battlefield and all of it is aimed at HYDRA at the moment. Watching him maul over an entire group of them, Winter can’t help the small twitch of his lips accompanied by an approving hum. Hulk is an entirely different side of the Doctor…and Winter understands that all too well.

He splits away from to team, edging closer to the castle that is now under both the Iron Man and Falcon fire, trying their best to find a way through some sort of shield. All Winter can do is shoot through the emerging onslaught of agents, keeping a wary eye on the team’s doing.

“ _We have an enhanced on the field_!” Captain warns them as Barton takes a hit from a bunker that gets obliterated by the Hulk seconds later.

Winter considers turning back to the fight in the forest but is momentarily overrun by the enemy agents, having to instead focus on them.

“ _Drawbridge is down, people_!” Tony announces and descends towards the castle.

Hulk and Thor clearly have the ground covered and Sam re-routes back to provide aerial support, so Winter moves in after the Captain and Iron Man into the base. While Tony blows himself an entryway somewhere close to where he detected the scepter, Captain fights his way through the front doors. Winter wouldn’t expect anything else of the soldier.

He chooses to slip through a barred side-door and follows the stairs and hallways upward. Dispatching some minor resistance, he comes across the Captain and someone he remembers very well.

“Oh my. So it _is_ true. You really do have the Winter Soldier,” Baron von Strucker says when he spots him.

He’s met the HYDRA leader on just one occasion and it was enough to leave a lasting impression. The man is an important asset to HYDRA, his intelligence and willingness to resort to ruthless experiments on other people is invaluable to the organization.

His death will deliver at least a little blow to HYDRA and whatever plan they have at the moment.

Before he can cut off the next sentence out of Stucker with a bullet to his face, both him and the Captain are sent flying down the stairs by an unknown crimson force.

Looking up, he spots a young woman wielding this force before she escapes the room again, leaving Strucker to fend for himself.

Not that he can.

“Second enhanced, female, do not engage,” Captain instructs through the radio and Winter takes that moment to move back up, shoot the still gaping Strucker right in the head and go after the woman. “I said do not engage!” Rogers calls after him and Winter finds himself considering the command.

Regardless of his opinion of the Captain and vice versa, he is technically the leader of the Avengers – a title strangely shared between him and Tony. The Captain is the shot-caller on the battlefield, that’s for sure.

But this is HYDRA. Enhanced individuals or not, Winter cannot simply ignore such a threat.

“ _Thor? I got eyes on the prize_ ,” Tony informs and Winter hesitates.

Retrieving the scepter is the mission. It’s the priority. It must be secured and taken so HYDRA can never use it again.

_The scepter takes priority_ , he decides and follows the Captain’s order to stand down, much to the man’s evident surprise.

For a moment, Winter almost forgets what it is that weights the Captain down. He does a good job of reminding him though. “This would be so much easier if you just let Bucky through,” he whispers, voice strained by bottled-up anger.

Winter tilts his head, regarding the Captain with a glare that he knows comes off just as cold as the chilly air outside. He has neither sympathy nor time for this man and his delusions.

He ignores the Captain, earning himself a disappointed headshake and a sigh and follows him outside the castle when Tony signals the all clear.

 

* * *

 

Once back at the Tower, he helps Natasha carry Barton to a newly set up medical lab and hangs back in the shadows, watching the new doctor work on his injury while Natasha subtly watches _him_.

Tony and Doctor Banner join them some time later, both giving him a small smile before moving to Barton, admiring Doctor’s…Helen Cho progress with some new medical tech that’s to do with skin tissue. 

Seeing Hawkeye is going to be just fine, he sneaks out of the infirmary and heads for his floor. It took a while for him to get used to the fact that he has his own space. Not just a room – an entire floor. All to himself with nobody there to bother him.

Doctor Bruce stopped by a few times, always relaying his wish to enter the floor through JARVIS first and Tony also paid him a scheduled visit to see if the place needs anything else in terms of furnishings. He seemed unsatisfied with the sofa and had it replaced that same day. Winter didn’t really care either way - that is until he sat down on the new one and found it almost more comfortable than the bed JARVIS assisted him in procuring before.

“ _Living rooms are all about the sofa, you know?”_ Tony told him _. “If the sofa sucks then what’s the point of having a living room? Or so Bruce keeps telling me_.”

He spends most of his time here, talking to JARVIS, maintaining his arm, cleaning his weapons, researching…reading the book Doctor Bruce recommended. That’s what his days are like as of late. Training, recess, mission, more recess. All for him to decide. No Handlers to tell him otherwise. No scheduled punishments. Nothing that he doesn’t decide to do or not do.

He might just get used to that.

Placing the gun on the coffee-table to clean it later, he heads to the bathroom and showers. The water’s always hot – another thing he quickly got used to – and he leaves it that way, raveling in the warmth.

The mission went well, all things considered. Even if they weren’t able to subdue the two enhanced operatives, many HYDRA agents were killed and captured and most importantly, Strucker is no longer going to be a threat.

Good riddance.

He dries himself off with a fluffy dark blue towel and chooses to wear a very casual set of pants and a long sleeved T-shirt. After wearing his old uniform for days on end, JARVIS suggested he tries wearing something new when off mission and Winter found the wardrobes and dressers full of different kinds of clothing, all in his size.

No doubt the work of both the AI and Tony, who complimented him on his chosen attire on number of occasions. The sweatpants and shirts are not very battle efficient, but he no longer expects to need that within the walls of the Tower.

That doesn’t stop him from concealing various kinds of weapons underneath the clothes of course. No matter how… _safe_ …he feels here, his training demands him to be ready for battle at any moment, anywhere he is. Being prepared is key. That way, he cannot be caught off-guard.

“ _Winter, sir_?” JARVIS addresses him after he grabs the cleaning kit and heads for the living room.

“Yes, JARVIS?”

The AI pauses, letting him settle down on the sofa before speaking again. “ _There is a…delicate matter I feel the need to discuss with you_.”

Winter straightens, alerting to the worry he hears in JARVIS’s otherwise steady voice. “What is it? Is there a threat? Is somebody in danger?”

“ _No, sir. Nothing like that. Not exactly. As you are aware, my primary function is security. Protecting the Tower and all its occupants with whatever means necessary is a priority for me_.”

“Yes. Of course.” That’s why _danger_ was the first thing that came to his mind.

“ _These means include intercepting all and any communication going in and out of the premises. Calls, messages, all sorts of data must first go through me before reaching the recipient. Naturally, once the data is cleared I do not keep any copies or duplicates of it – in fact, I am obliged to erase my very memory of the scanned data to preserve discretion_ ,” JARVIS explains and waits for Winter to nod in understanding. “ _However, if I encounter a possible threat, I am allowed to act in order to maintain everyone’s safety_.”

“I understand.” The word threat switches him back to alert mode, even if the danger is clearly not imminent. “What is the matter?”

“ _First of all, I must admit I might have broken a number of protocols installed by Mr. Stark by speaking to you before informing him about this…but as this matter directly concerns Sir and possibly his well-being, I deemed it appropriate to try resolving this…in a better way than my protocols dictate._ ”

JARVIS never fails to impress Winter and surprise him all the same. The AI has boundaries, set and hard-coded that he follows obediently at all times. And yet, when the situation calls for it he can somehow _decide_ to ignore his own programming to satisfy other priorities – and protection is the highest one.

Especially protection and safety of his creator. Winter observed the AI would without doubt go to any length to make sure Tony is safe and well. Hearing JARVIS’s subtle interventions in the workshop every now and then was enough to stress this fact for him.

So yes, if JARVIS found a threat directed at Tony, breaking a few protocols in order to resolve it before it can do any harm doesn’t surprise him anymore.

“ _Yesterday, I have intercepted a message meant for Mr. Stark. The data was free of any viruses and such, but it is the content of the message that worries me_ ,” he continues and the TV suddenly comes to life, projecting the message in question. “ _I do not know who sent this…what I do know is that these files are HDYRA mission reports that we are still in the middle of deciphering ourselves. One mission report to be more specific, along with a video file attached to it_.”

Winter gets up to inspect the message closer on the screen. The sender’s e-mail is just a random line of letters and numbers with a generic yahoo address that’s obviously been set up just to send this one message and can hardly be traced to anyone.

There’s no subject, just a single sentence in the body of the message.

_‘Trust, but verify…’_

The attached document is indeed a HYDRA mission report, one he doesn’t immediately recognize. It’s untitled which means it must have been given by the highest authority among HYDRA, privy only to those who actively participated in the mission.

_‘December 16, 1991 – Sanction and extraction’_

What he reads next freezes him to the spot.

It was one of the Winter Soldier’s missions. He doesn’t remember what it was about – and he doesn’t have to. The report is very clear about that.

_Extraction of the serum – successful_

_Howard Stark and Maria Stark – witnesses; disposed of; staged accident_

“Stark,” he says out loud, willing his memory to work for once and give him an answer to the horrible feeling that suddenly creeps up into his guts.

“ _Howard and Maria Stark were allegedly killed in a car accident…on December 16, 1991. This report however suggests otherwise_.”

“Tony’s parents,” he breathes out, trying to somehow connect this in his mind, failing.

“ _Yes_.”

“I killed them.”

“ _The Winter Soldier was tasked with the mission, yes. And apparently carried it out as well, if the video is anything to go by_ ,” JARVIS confirms and Winter needs to know. He needs to see.

“Show it to me.”

“ _I would strongly advise against that, sir_.”

“I don’t remember this mission. Show me the video, JARVIS…please,” he pleads with the AI and it does the trick.

The video plays itself on the TV and finally, his brain decides to cooperate and take him back to that cold, harsh night of December 16. The Soldier was woken up, brought to attention with the conditioned commands and sent out to do this mission.

And he has done it. Stopped the car. Acquired the wanted goods. Killed the severely injured Howard Stark, strangled his wife and staged the scene.

Exactly as the report states.

“ _In light of all the recent events, sir, I believe this might have been sent to Mr. Stark by…an interested party. Someone of note in HYDRA that would benefit from the result this message would without a doubt cause if received as simple as this_.”

This message wasn’t a threat. Or blackmail. No. This is what HYDRA does best. Divide and conquer. If they can’t get him back without risking direct conflict with the Avengers, then they either find a way to get rid of him altogether…or have someone do it for them.

His entire stay here in the Tower and with the team is based on one single thing – trust. And this message shreds that trust like it’s a worthless piece of paper.

“ _Mister Winter, please. Calm down. I understand this revelation is disturbing for you, but I really do believe to be making the right choice by telling you first_.”

“Why?” he frowns, looking up, voice strangely cracked.

“ _This news would be best received from you, sir. I might be biased but I think very highly of Sir’s analytical thinking and moral compass…high enough to know his reaction will not cause any harm to you. Especially if you are the one to present him with these facts_.”

He doesn’t understand. The Soldier killed the Starks. Tony’s parents are dead because he killed them. And JARVIS thinks this all can be solved just by him telling Tony about it? Simple as that? That’s impossible.

“ _Sir values one thing above all. Honesty. He might get angry at first. He will be distraught and he will be grieving. But he will understand…even if you won’t_ ,” JARVIS says as if he is somehow in the midst of Winter’s own mind as well.

JARVIS is right. Tony needs to know this. Keeping it a secret would be the worst possible thing to do since someone in HYDRA decided this is the perfect leverage to use. They would find a way to delivery these files to Tony one way or the other.

Winter has to tell him.

“Alright,” he nods, tearing his eyes off of the screen and taking a shaky step toward the elevator. He doesn’t understand this either. This…feeling that makes him so vulnerable.

It’s like fear. But not the kind of fear he had ever felt before. And HYDRA made him fear a whole lot, yet it doesn’t compare at all to _this_.

“ _Sir is currently in Doctor Banner’s extended lab discussing a new project_ ,” JARVIS informs him before opening the elevator for him and taking him few floors up. “ _Do not be afraid, please. I promised no harm would be done to you here and I intend to keep that promise_ ,” he adds, rendering Winter speechless.

JARVIS’s words give him the courage to leave the elevator and head for the lab, fully intending to confess the situation to Tony.

His brain however has other plans and chooses that moment to let him access memories decades buried and forgotten.

It begins that night on the dark, snow-covered road. When Howard Stark looks into the Soldier’s eyes as he’s about to be killed, pleading for his wife’s life.

“ _Sergeant Barnes_?”

For the first time since before the Soldier came to exist, someone calls him by the name he’s been tortured for years on end to forget.

The Soldier can’t do anything though. He has orders. He must obey. And he does.

It’s what Winter remembers happening next that stops him in his tracks.

Howard Stark’s plea might not have reached the Soldier’s ears. It reached Bucky’s though. And Bucky unleashed his wrath in full in the following days.

He killed his Handler, escaped the base and ran for over a week, killing any HYDRA agent that dared cross his path.

Winter remembers now. Vivid and real. The sadness, the horror, the rage Bucky had felt was unimaginable. And he utilized all of it to execute days of terror against his captors and tormentors. Even when HYDRA finally caught up and recaptured him, he refused to give up.

Those two simple words coming from the mouth of his old friend were enough to spark life into the former soldier. It didn’t matter how many times HYDRA tried putting him through the Chair’s treatment, didn’t matter how many times they recited the many word sequences to try getting the Soldier back and obedient.

Sergeant James Barnes was done playing HYDRA’s puppet and was set on vengeance if it was the last thing he’d do.

And it was the last thing he’d do.

Winter is barely aware of JARVIS’s concerned calls of his name. All he can hear through the loud hammering of his heart are those two words.

“ _Sergeant Barnes_?”

He’s overcome with the emotions that once belonged to the now lost soldier. Emotions he doesn’t know how to deal with.

So he does the one and only thing he knows how to do.

Disappears.

He backs off from the hallway on unsteady legs and bolts through the emergency exit. JARVIS keeps talking to him, but his words no longer register.

When he finds the exit door at the bottom floor locked, he just smashes the window open, jumps out and runs.

Away from the Tower. Away from JARVIS’s worried voice. Away from the Avengers. Away from the man whose life he’s ruined.

And most of all, he runs from himself.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update: June 3rd


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony learns the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sunday update, here we go...get ready to board the angst train ^^ 
> 
> Enjoy! <3

“What do you mean _ran away_?!” Tony gapes at the nearest surveillance camera.

“Was he attacked by someone?” Bruce asks, taking off his glasses. “Is he in danger or…?”

“ _From what I have been able to briefly observe, ha had fallen into a state of panic shortly before taking off. And no, there are no intruders in the Tower that I know of_.”

Tony closes his mouth, glancing at his science bro. “Then why would he - ”

“ _I’m afraid I do suspect the cause, Sir_ ,” JARVIS interrupts him carefully but doesn’t continue.

“And?!” Tony presses on. This is really not the time for JARVIS to go all cryptic on him. Not when he’s a few days away from possibly creating Ultron and being done with all his nightmares once and for all. He has no idea what it was he saw back at the HYDRA base. Panic induced hallucination? Some sort of vision? Whatever it was, it felt awfully real. And knowing what lurks out there it might as well become real.

“ _Could we speak privately, Sir?_ ” 

“Okay, now you’re just trying to scare the crap out of me, aren’t you? Look…if this concerns Winter and the why he panicked hard enough to bolt outta here, then I’m discussing it with Bruce anyway.”

“ _I would however strongly recommend that_ \- ”

“JARVIS, it’s fine. I’ll go get some coffee,” Bruce holds up his hands, backing out of the lab. “If you still want to discuss it after, then we will, yeah?”

Tony rolls his eyes but nods, letting Bruce leave. Coffee sounds like a great idea. Just when he thought today was going pretty well it had to go to shit again. They busted a huge HYDRA operation, got the scepter back, nobody got killed…his jimmies got a bit rustled but overall it was a giant success.

That is until now, with the man he promised to keep safe here suddenly on the run.

“Okay, JARVIS. Time to use big boy words and explain to me what the hell happened.”

“ _There was a matter of security I felt the need to discuss with Mister Winter_.”

“Why are you discussing matters of security with Winter?! Shouldn’t you be telling someone else…like, I don’t know…me?!”

“ _I have decided the details of this would be best received from him, Sir_.”

“Oh really?! That obviously didn’t work out very well, did it?!” he lashes out at the AI. Even though he knows he’s leaving JARVIS to make his own decisions because so far they’ve always been the right ones. “Sorry…okay. Security, what about it?”

“ _I have intercepted a message addressed to you, the contents of which I found most disturbing. I was unable to trace it to anyone specific, buy given the content it is safe to assume it had been sent by HYDRA_.”

Of course it was. What isn’t these days?! A month ago nobody knew HYDRA still existed and suddenly everything revolves around the Nazi bastards! “What kinda content are we talking about?”

“ _An old HYDRA mission report along with video documentation of it_.”

Tony waits for elaboration but it seems JARVIS isn’t too keen on letting him know the specifics. Why would he want Winter to…oh. “Was it one of the Winter Soldier missions?”

“ _Correct. He didn’t seem to recall it since the mission pre-dated his creation, but I fear he might have recovered some memories before reaching your lab to inform you about the details_.”

“And that’s why he ran…crap,” Tony curses, rolling on the chair to the opposite desk. “Why wouldn’t you just tell me straight away?!” he mutters, logging into the security files on the computer.

“ _My apologies, Sir. But I still believe further information would be best received from Mister Winter_.”

“Well that poses a bit of a problem now, doesn’t it?!” he barks at him, not able to hold the anxiety at bay anymore. He brings up the barely fifteen minutes old security footage of this floor, where he observes Winter leave the elevator and walk towards the lab. The neutral, closed off façade he’s been wearing the whole day was already cracked by something Tony can only recognize a moment later when the former soldier suddenly comes to a halt, his entire demeanor changing.

No wonder JARVIS identified it so easily. He’s seen enough of Tony’s panic attacks to know what one looks like up close and that right there was a textbook onset of a panic attack. The shock and fear in his widened eyes intensified, hands and legs shaking with tiny tremors…whatever it was he remembered just then _terrified_ him.

JARVIS’s calls went unnoticed and moments later Winter broke into a sprint, all but jumping entire sets of stairs to get to the ground floor where JARVIS tried to lock him out. For a second it looked like it might work…before Winter channeled all his fight and flight instincts and just smashed his way out through the window.

So now he’s running somewhere in New York without his armored uniform, without a weapon and bare fucking foot! Maybe not entirely without a weapon. Tony noticed the well concealed knives he seems to wear even in his casual clothes. And his arm is a weapon on its o – _his arm_!

He groans, killing off the security feed and logging into his project files instead. “Well spank me senseless, I’m an idiot!” he exclaims, berating himself for not remembering this sooner. “Alright, I’m not proud of this…especially since HYDRA did the same damn thing, but I’m here hoping the intention justifies the deed.”

“ _What is it you’re talking about, Sir_?”

“Gimme a second, J…aaaand, there!” he executes a program and after entering the correct code, a screen of the Earth’s satellite view comes up. “Track this little something for me, why don’t you, JARVIS?”

He adds a new locator code to the search engine and in seconds, JARVIS traces the signal to Queens. Of course the guy already ran all the way to Queens!

“ _Is that what I think it is, Sir_?”

“If you’re thinking that’s a signal from a locator hidden in Winter’s arm then yes, it is. And before you make any assumptions, I installed it purely for emergency situations…I would call this an emergency situation, wouldn’t you, J?”

“ _Indeed. Shall I prepare the armor for you_?”

“Please do. Before you get too carried away though, send me that ominous HYDRA message of yours.”

“ _Again, I must implore yo_ \- ”

“JARVIS? I wasn’t asking this time around. If you thought Winter telling me was a good idea then I’m not gonna argue about that. But that ship sailed, J, I mean…have you seen the guy’s face?! He’s not telling me anything anytime soon. Hell, I’ll be lucky if he comes back to the Tower with me! Now send me that damn message so I know what we’ve gotten ourselves into!”

JARVIS is silent for a lot longer than Tony would like, almost as he was considering refusal. Or something even more extreme like deleting the message altogether. “ _Very well, Sir_.”

Seconds later, the message appears in his inbox so he brings it up, mind already busy with what he’s going to do about Winter. He needs Bruce. Yep, definitely Bruce; Bruce always knows what to do.

He looks over the bare email, scoffing at the Regan quote and opens the mission report instead.

Reading the headline of it is enough for him to swear he’d listen to JARVIS from now on. The AI was right. This is definitely not something he wanted to open and read all by himself.

 

_Mission report – December 16, 1991_

 

His heart drops. Even decades later, this date brings chills to his spine and clouds his minds with dread. He considers closing the file and maybe bleaching his memory of the past ten seconds, but it’s too late.

Taking a shuddering breath, he continues to read.

 

…

 

Winter runs for miles before he just can’t go on anymore. He could easily run for hours, needing to only take brief breaks under normal circumstances.

Nothing about this is normal.

His breath keeps hitching, caught half-way up his throat as if his lungs were refusing to do their job. So he rounds the corner into a shady, empty alley and crumples down onto his knees, trying to school his breathing into obedience.

It’s no good. His chest burns, the lack of oxygen making his vision go blurry.

 _Unacceptable_.

This place is not safe. He cannot lose consciousness here. He must correct his breathing. Must…do…something…

The decades of awful training under all kinds of duress may finally pay off, even if emotional breakdowns were not ever part of HYDRA’s scenarios. They made sure his first aid emergency knowledge was top notch though.

_Diagnosis…lack of oxygen, difficulty breathing, heightened state of emotional stress…a panic attack._

_Treatment…getting breathing under control using steadying breathing methods, alternatively an inhaler or a paper bag in order to prevent blacking out._

He takes a blurry look around himself, crawling to the trash containers few feet away from him. Bringing himself up on unsteady legs, he rummages through the trash and finds exactly what he needs - an undamaged paper bag. That should be enough. He empties it and slides against the bin back to the floor, willing his uncooperative shaking hands to work with the bag properly. He brings it to his lips and tries to breathe…in and out. In and out. It’s still broken and insufficient, but working.

 _In and out_.

Winter doesn’t know how long he keeps on doing that….minutes…hours? He stays on the ground, curling up against the sudden onslaught of cold and pain.

Satisfied with his breathing, he discards the foul smelling bag. It served its purpose. The breathing was just a part of the problem anyway.

His mind is still a whirlwind of estranged emotions and flashes of memories. It clears just enough for him to be more aware of his surroundings. He has no idea where he is, how far away from the Tower he’d run. Did anyone follow him?

 _No…please no_.

He backs away against the wall of the apartment building, wedging himself between the smelly bins enough to be invisible from the pavement and protected from the cold wind. It’s already nightfall…he must have been out for hours now.

The shivering isn’t going away, no matter how close he hugs his legs. His feet sting and only now he realizes he had no shoes on when he started the run. He would look to inspect the damage done but he can’t see through…through the tears. He wipes them away, again and again…they just keep welling up and he doesn’t know why or how to make them stop.

The last Handler that caught him crying laughed and beat him the entire night to ‘ _give him a reason to cry_ ’ as he said. Tears serve no purpose.

Useless…weak…and he can’t make them stop.

So he cries harder. What’s the point anymore? He’s not strong enough. Not even strong enough to fight tears let alone HYDRA.

Bucky Barnes was strong. He feared nothing. In his last moments of existence the only thing on his mind was vengeance. Anger. Fight. He wanted to fight and never stop. Death itself must have been afraid to claim the man. 

Winter felt just a faded memory of what Barnes had felt and it reduced him to a heaving mess on the floor in some dead-end alley in the middle of New York.

Weak. Alone. Unworthy. Undeserving of the life he’s been granted while death claimed the two true warriors once residing in his body and mind.

He’s only half-aware of the louder and louder swooshing sound that can only belong to one thing. The unmistakable clank of metal against pavement.

Iron Man. A true Avenger. Not some broken HYDRA toy. Iron Man is worthy. He can see this mission to an end.

Winter won’t put up a fight. The man deserves his vengeance and Winter couldn’t fight him even if he wanted to. Not him. Not the man he trusted and who trusted him…only to be betrayed.

The steps come closer until he knows the armor is standing right in front of him. It will be quick. The armor’s offensive abilities are all well known to him. Unless the man chooses to make it slow…and he can. Winter will let him.

For the longest time, the alley remains silent. There’s no more movement from the armor, so the only thing piercing the night are Winter’s sobs and sniffles. He can’t look up…that unknown fear gripping onto him once again.

“JARVIS? Bring us a ride,” he hears the distorted voice say before the metal is soundly on the move again.

JARVIS…he won’t get to thank him now. For making him trust someone for the first time in his accursed life.

 _Pathetic_.

“You with me, Snowflake?” is what he hears next, the voice back to its melodic baritone. It’s quiet, hoarse…strained. Lacking the usual energy. “Winter?” the man asks again and the sudden warmth on his forearm startles him enough to flinch, head snapping up to meet…Tony.

He blinks against the tears, focusing on the man kneeling a mere feet away from him, flesh and bones…the armor standing vigilant but empty behind him.

“There you are,” he sighs, looking him over with… _concern_. His red-rimmed eyes are ablaze with anger, only growing stronger the more he looks at Winter, yet his hand remains to be a gentle weight against Winter’s flesh arm. “Are you hurt? Other than your feet?” he asks, cringing.

Winter has no answers. His gaze keeps flicking between the man’s face, the unoffending hand and the armor, utterly lost in confusion.

Seeing he won’t get any reply, Tony shrugs. “I’ll take that as a…maybe. Can you stand? We should leave before the first drunks come wandering in here. This isn’t exactly the safest part of Queens, you know?”

“ _ETA on the car is five minutes, Sir_ ,” JARVIS’s voice comes out of the armor.

“Wow, you’re running all the red lights? Good, okay…take your time then,” he speaks to Winter, quiet and calm.

Nothing like what Winter expects. Not that he expected to be found to begin with, but to be found and instead of being targeted by the man’s righteous wrath he is being…helped? That doesn’t match any variable Winter’s exhausted brain contemplated. “D-do you k-know?” he asks, barely audible through the background noise of busy streets around them.

The hand - still holding his - twitches, tightening the grip only by a fraction. Something dark passes across Tony’s face when he realizes what Winter means but then he breathes out and it’s all gone. “Yes.”

Winter frowns, studying his face. “T-then w-wh…I d-don’t - ”

“Hey,” Tony interrupts him, a soft exhale instead of a harsh bark. “Let’s go back to the Tower first, okay? We can…talk later…or not. Whatever. Just…come with me?” he pleads with Winter.

 _Pleads_. Like he’s afraid of any other possibility than Winter returning with him.

He doesn’t deserve to go back there. He doesn’t deserve to be treated this way…with so much _care_. It’s not a word Winter would associate with anything positive. _Taking care of someone_ never meant anything good in HYDRA’s vocabulary.

Bucky Barnes understood _care_ very differently. Like… _this_. He shakes his head, taking an unsteady breath as his heartbeat speeds up again. Bucky Barnes would deserve to be taken care of this way. He is not Bucky Barnes and never will be. He killed Bucky…he killed the Starks…he killed…so…many…

“Oh no you don’t,” Tony blurts out, his right hand grabbing onto Winter’s metal one, startling him from his thoughts. “Whatever you’re thinking about right now? Forget it, okay? Just stop. _Stop_. _Thinking_. I know that’s a ridiculous request, trust me…I had this therapist once? He told me to stop thinking about something. Me. He told _me_ to stop thinking, I mean…what an idiot! I can’t stop thinking even when I’m asleep! Every now and then JARVIS tells me I’ve been talking to myself, inventing shit while I’m asleep. And then some guy with five doctorates in psychiatry tells me to stop thinking, like…come on! That was the worst money I’ve ever spent, seriously. And I bought some really ridiculous stuff back in the days so that’s saying something.”

Winter listens to the steady onslaught of words coming out of Tony’s mouth and does the one thing he hadn’t been able to do since he ran from the Tower.

Calms down.

“…and then I fired him. Twice. I had to fire him twice, that’s how bad he was at his job. Unbelievable.”

“ _The car is here, Sir, parked around the corner. I’m afraid it doesn’t fit all the way into the alley_.”

“Ah! Thank you, JARVIS.”

“ _I was also unable to buy a parking ticket, so I’d suggest you hurry_.”

Tony chokes out a laugh and shakes his head. “Really, J? Take the junior home for me now, will ya?”

“ _Of course_ ,” JARVIS replies and the armor stops its surveying mode and takes off.

“So…you ready?” he looks back at Winter, observing his every move.

All Winter manages is a tiny nod, not trusting his voice with words right now. He still doesn’t know what to make out of this situation, but he is not refusing a request from Tony, no matter how unlikely he believes it to be.

“’Kay…here. Let me help you up,” he sighs, obviously relieved.

He stands up with his help and they wobble towards the street, Tony’s hand secured and firm around his waist keeping him steady on his aching feet.

Tony stares down the few pedestrians they meet before reaching the car, opening the front passenger door for him.

The drive back to the Tower passes in silence. Tony keeps his eyes focused on the road so Winter averts his gaze out of the window, watching the streets go by.

“ _Welcome back, Sir. Winter_ ,” JARVIS greets them upon entering the empty entry hall of the Tower.

“Is Bruce still in the lab?” Tony asks, guiding them to the elevator.

“ _He is waiting for you, yes_.”

“Good. Is he calm? I really don’t wanna test Veronica inside the Tower…the insurance doesn’t cover Hulk-induced damages.”

“ _Is that why you kept the Loki-shaped hole in the floor of the Penthouse for so long_?”

Tony chuckles, entering the elevator and letting JARVIS ride them few floors up. “I was thinking about making an inside pond out of it in the honor of the trickster god…something to remind him the good times if he ever returns. But your idea was better. Having a spare armor hidden in the penthouse? Genius.”

“ _I aim to please. And yes, Doctor Banner is_ \- ”

“Calm as ever, don’t worry,” Doctor Bruce answers for him, inspecting their arrival to the lab from underneath his glasses. “That looks painful,” he cringes, looking at Winter’s feet. “Come on over, I’ll patch that up for you,” he offers with a small…sad smile.

Winter doesn’t know what to do anymore, so he obeys. The Doctor cleans the painful but rather minor wounds and wraps them up while Tony disappears back into the hall.

When he returns, he’s carrying a plate of toasts and DUM-E rolls in behind him with cups of water. “Eat up…oh and do some grocery shopping J, please. I swear Birdbrain and Rogers eat like a family of twenty! I had to raid three fridges to find butter,” he shakes his head, placing the toasts next to Winter on the table he’s sitting on.

“ _I shall adjust my grocery shopping protocols then, to meet the increased demand for sustenance_.”

“Sure…or, you know, move a Walmart into one of the floors.”

“We don’t need a Walmart in the Tower, Tony,” Doctor Bruce chuckles, taking one toast and moving to sit opposite of Winter on one of the stools.

“Yeah, tell that to the Avengers’ stomachs. And by that I mean two supersoldier stomachs, one godly stomach and the four cow stomachs Clint has. It’d be easier to have a supermarket on hand.”

Doctor Bruce rolls his eyes, his so far strained expression softening.

DUM-E bumps into Winter’s knee, making him flinch but he lets the bot continue nudging him carefully with the now empty claw. Tony offers him the water cup and ends up putting it into his hands when he doesn’t grab it straight away.

“Drink. It’s just water. But if you’re in for a….bottle or two of whiskey, then sign me the fu - ”

“Yeah, no drinking tonight,” Doctor Bruce intervenes, voice stern. “We all need to sleep and we’ve got a project to work on tomorrow, remember?” he squints at Tony, when the engineer makes an annoyed face at him.

“Dunken inventing is fun though!” he whines, but nods. “Okay. Not sure about the whole sleeping part though.”

“Me neither,” the doctor sighs, munching down on the toast.

They all sit in silence, eating, only DUM-E still beeping with his claw deposited on Winter’s lap for some reason.

“What now?” Winter breaks the quiet after he’s done with the one toast he’s chosen to eat and looks straight at Tony.

The engineer shrugs, still not even half-way through his own food.

“I…I don’t understand,” he says in a whisper, looking down on the now calm and unmoving claw in his lap.

“Okay, look…let’s talk. Because honestly? There’s not much to talk about,” Tony begins, straightening up in his seat and throwing the uneaten piece of toast behind him. “I am… _so_ pissed right now that I wouldn’t need to be in the middle of a radioactive fallout to turn into the Hulk!”

“I don’t appreciate that metaphor,” the doctor comments, without any animosity behind the words though.

Winter does understand the comparison…that anger Tony must feel right now must far surpass Barnes’s own. Still, there’s something odd here. Mostly the part where it seems like Tony isn’t angry at _him_.

“Sorry…all I’m saying is that right now I could battle the next alien invasion without the armor, not even kidding. I could punch a hole through all the floors of this Tower and keep going until I popped up in China! I could - ”

“Tony? I think he gets it,” Doctor Bruce interrupts him, pointing at Winer.

“Oh…right,” Tony clears his throat and the brief flare of fury on his face melts into pure determination. “Listen, Snowflake. I…I read the file. And watched the…the…footage,” he flails a little with his hands that appear to be shaking. “And I lost my shit. Bruce tidied up around here so you can’t really tell but I trashed this place. When that was done and my brain restarted enough to function, I read the file again and had JARVIS connect it to other HYDRA reports we’ve already been able to recover from the dump. And let’s just say I almost lost it again,” he chokes out a desperate laugh.

“That’s…Tony, you need to use big boy words for him to understand, okay?” Doctor Bruce sighs. “Isn’t that what you tell JARVIS all the time…when he does something you don’t get?”

“I’m explaining r - ”

“He understands why you’re angry. He doesn’t understand why you’re _not angry at him_ ,” he translates every single thought Winter has had in the past twenty minutes.

Tony blinks at the other scientist and then at the sullen expression on Winter’s face. “What do you mean _angry at him_?! Why would I be – ,” he stops mid sentence, apparently understanding the two raised eyebrows aimed at him. “I’m not…shit! I’m shit at this.”

“No you’re not. You’ve just learnt the most awful thing in your life…I’d say you get to be a little confused right now. You get to be a little everything, Tony.”

“Thanks…,” Tony smiles, a broken twist of lips. “You’re the best, Bruce…have I told you that recently?”

“About fifty times in the last five hours.”

“Good. I’ll make sure to repeat it. Often. All the time. And you!” he turns to Winter, who hadn’t taken his eyes off of the man since he started talking. “I’m not angry at you. I…I don’t blame you.”

“Why?” Winter asks immediately. He’s tired of not knowing the answers. He’s tired of always being the last to understand.

“Why should I?” Tony shoots back, urgency clear in his voice.

“You saw it. You saw what I did.”

He nods, eyes turning sad. “I saw it. I saw what the Winter Soldier did. Because it was him, yes? The Winter Soldier?”

Winter nods.

“Remind me...who was the Winter Soldier?”

“He was the result of HYDRA’s conditioning experiments. The assassin. Their perfect soldier,” he replies in a flat tone.

“Has the Winter Soldier ever disobeyed and order? Has he ever failed a mission because he did something other than what HYDRA order him to do?”

“No.”

Tony stands up and takes a few steps toward him, stopping next to DUM-E. “There’s your answer. The Winter Soldier did what HYDRA ordered him to do. He didn’t kill my parents because he wanted to kill them. He did it because HYDRA made him do it.”

Winter stares at him, too shocked to do or say anything.

“And _you_ certainly did not kill my parents either. Neither did Barnes…speaking of whom…according to JARVIS, this was the last mission he and the Soldier carried out. Which means…and correct me if I’m wrong, this was the mission that made them lash out against HYDRA. To a point it _killed them_. You see…,” he sighs, putting one hand on top of DUM-E’s claw, “that mission didn’t kill two, but four people. And I have no anger to spare on the only one that survived. Because all of it is reserved for HYDRA and whichever son of a bitch ordered that hit,” he spits through gritted teeth. “Here I thought I really couldn’t hate HYDRA any more than I already had. So whatever it is you’re thinking? Don’t think for one damn second that you are to blame for any of it.”

“I second that,” the doctor adds.

“ _So do I_ ,” JARVIS joins in.

Winter continues to stare at Tony, who’s watching him intently now, not averting his gaze. All Winter can see there is honesty. And finally…he understands.

“I must admit…I haven’t thought of it this way,” Winter breathes out the words he’s used many times recently, his features relaxing for the first time today.

“Well…now’s a good time to start thinking this way, because these are the facts. Anyway…me and Bruce have this thing we need to work on? And I also suspect he’s called Rhodey behind my back to come mother me,” he glances back at the now grinning doctor. “So…you can hang around here if you want of course, but you look pretty tired.”

“So do you,” he retorts, unable to stop himself. There’s so much on his mind right now he has no idea where to even begin.

“That’s my normal face, actually,” he grimaces.

Winter nods and stands up, making DUM-E whine a long, sad beep. “I…understand. And…I’m sorry. That you had to find out this way…about your parents,” he clarifies when Tony frowns at him.

“That’s…fine. I can imagine it could have been worse…but thank you.”

“No,” Winter shakes his head and dares to make a single step closer to Tony, leaving little space between them. “Thank you. All of you,” he adds to everyone present.

Tony takes a breath and opens his mouth to talk. Whatever he sees on his face though stops him and he just nods instead.

“I will go to my room…leave you to science,” he looks at Doctor Bruce over Tony’s shoulder and the man gives him a smile.

“Okay. Are you uh…,” Tony points at his feet.

“I am fine. Doctor Bruce is an excellent doctor.”

The two men chuckle, Bruce standing up. “Seriously now, call me just Bruce. And I’m not a med - ”

“Don’t listen to him, he _is_ an excellent doctor, multiple doctorates and all! And he deserves to be titled so at every opportunity!” Tony jumps back to hold a hand in front of Doc…Bruce’s mouth.

“You have more doctorates than me and I have never ever heard anyone call you Doctor Stark,” Bruce squints at Tony.

“Because it sounds ridiculous…besides, nobody calls me Stark either. Unless they want to piss me off.”

The two of them start bantering with each other and Winter takes the opportunity to shuffle out of the lab, patting DUM-E on top of his claw before leaving.

He finds his way to his bed and lays down, staring into the ceiling. He won’t be able to sleep; there are just too many things he must think about…and consider.

“JARVIS?” he calls out into the dark and quiet.

“ _Yes, Winter_?”

“Thank you, JARVIS. Thank you…,” he repeats in a whisper, not sure how many times he would have to say it to amount to the gratitude he feels. “For everything.”

“ _There’s no need to thank me, sir_.”

 _Like father like AI_ , Winter thinks. “Yes, there is. So…thank you.”

“ _You’re welcome_ ,” he replies a lot later.

Winter hums, eyes closing.

Maybe he’s not as brave as Bucky Barnes was. Maybe he’s not the perfect warrior the Soldier was.

But he is a man on a mission that is nowhere near done. And now, he has more reasons than ever to see it to the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update: June 17th
> 
> ...and it's Wanda time.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ultron comes alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Here's another chapter rolling in...and we're still up on the angst train. What could one expect with Wanda running wild, right? Next chapter or two will be the last to deal with the Ultron storyline - one that Winter will definitely alter more than expected ^^ 
> 
> Thank you all for your feedback and enjoy! <3

Tony stays holed up in the workshop for the entire three days following the day of the HYDRA base raid. Working on Ultron with Bruce is a perfect distraction from everything that happened that day. First he’s thrown into some nightmare end of the world scenario where everyone’s dead…everyone but him…and if that wasn’t enough bad news, HYDRA had to remind him of its existence by sending him all the nightmare material he’ll ever need for the rest of eternity.

“ _You realize what they’re trying to do, right? Why they sent this to_ you _…now_ ,” Rhodey asked him when Tony and Bruce gave him the full story.

HYDRA knows Winter is with them. Even before the attack on Strucker, they knew. And despite their usual insanity, someone in there – and Tony suspects Pierce – is smart enough to know they’re never getting Winter back. Not without going through the Avengers first and that just isn’t the kind of risk they’re willing to take. So they decided to use unconventional methods of attacking.

That email was an _attack_. Or at least meant to be one.

 _Trust, but verify_.

What HYDRA attempted was undermine their trust in Winter in such a way they would either kick him out of the team, have him imprisoned…or straight up killed. All of which would play into HYDRA’s hands.

And it might have worked.

If Tony opened that email, alone…he doesn’t know what he’d do. This way, with JARVIS intercepting the message, giving him all the possible warnings about it he could and then having Bruce to help him with the aftermath, the impact of the email was almost nullified. Instead of making Tony hate Winter, it made him hate HYDRA even more than before.

So that backfired on the multi-headed sons of bitches real fast. When he gets his hands on Pierce? He’s gonna make him feel exactly how much it backfired. Hell, there won’t be enough pieces left of him for a DNA test. He and all his HYDRA colleagues and minions deserve what’s coming to them.

Ultron might be a big help with that. Some more tweaking later, after the party’s over and maybe…

“Party time! J? Play nice while we’re gone, yeah? Queue some updates, backups and stuff,” he instructs and leaves the lab, going up to his room to get ready.

Parties aren’t necessarily his scene anymore…if they ever were. But this is not one of those big, overcrowded events full of people he doesn’t know. Not really. It’s a team thing. After everything that happened in the past few months, they could use some bonding time for sure. And parties are the perfect opportunity for that.

Relaxed atmosphere, a little bit of alcohol - or a lot of it - small talks that don't involve work stuff...perfect. Needless to say, Winter wasn't sold on the concept at all.

Both Tony and Bruce tried to persuade him to attend, hell even Birdbrain 2.0 made a case for it during breakfast. No luck. Tony understands the refusal. Too many people, not enough exits, _relaxed atmosphere_...that goes against everything he’s made of.

Not to mention the fact that his mood is at an all-time low the past few days. Also understandable. It will take some time before the man will let himself experience some actual fun. Him and Tony both.

By the time Tony joins the party, Thor has already managed to get half of the attending veterans drunk with some special Asgardian mead, Rhodey has entertained nearly everyone with his one and only signature fun story and Bruce has failed to be subtle about his very real and very cute crush on Natasha. So he joins in - mingles, drinks, teases...forgets for just a moment the emotional rollercoaster of the past few days. Or weeks.

They all end up surrounding Thor's hammer, trying to pick it up as a challenge way later into the night. For once, the team is…a team. Together, having fun…even Rogers eases off his frowny face of doom through the evening.

The glint of metal catches Tony’s attention and out of the corner of his eyes he spots Winter sliding through the shadows at the back of the room like the ninja he is. He excuses himself from the group, currently laughing at Clint's focused expression as he attempts the great hammer lift himself – and fails. Thank the gods. Clint ruling Asgard would be a nightmare.

“What’s up, Snowflake?” he slips next to him, noting the tension in his posture.

Winter scans the room and its occupants with an intense, calculating stare before he looks at him. “I thought I might…join you? Now that it’s just the team here but - ”

“No buts! Of course you can join us! We are trying to lift Thor’s hammer, no pun intended and see who’s worthy of ruling Asgard so - ”

“Tony!” he intervenes, voice low and strained.

He widens his eyes, realizing the man is actually in full alert mode. Winter in alert mode means _danger_ , so he clasps his mouth shut and raises a questioning eyebrow.

“I was not sure if I’d be welcome to come here so I asked JARVIS.”

Tony rolls his eyes at that despite the rising adrenalin. JARVIS told him that Winter keeps double-checking all sorts of things with him, whenever he’s unsure of…what’s normal. And it apparently happens a lot.

“He didn’t answer,” Winter deadpans, eyes travelling across the ceiling.

“Wh…JARVIS?!” he calls out to the AI, assuming it might just be some fault in the system affecting the lower levels of the Tower. He gets no answer either though. “JARVIS!” he tries again for good measure, now on the move towards the bar where he left his tablet.

“Something wrong?” Natasha asks, looking between him and Winter.

“JARVIS is unresponsive,” Tony replies while logging into the mainframe. “It might be nothing. The coding gets a little fumbled during updates so secondary systems like the voice sync is put on hold,” he explains, now gaining the attention of the entire room.

“The elevator wasn’t working either,” Winter adds, the words making Tony snap his head up from the tablet.

“Okay. Never mind. Sensory systems are a primary function, so this is definitely something. Something bad,” he mumbles, attempting to access JARVIS’s data and perform an emergency reboot. If someone hacked in, it might be the only way to get the security back online.

Bruce joins him by the bar, looking over his shoulder. Before Tony can even get in the system though, a loud screeching sound emits from the comms, sounds of clinking metal filling the room.

One of the mangled Iron Legion soldiers shuffles into the room. “Would you expect anything else? You’re all killers,” it points at them.

“Stark?” Cap says, keeping his eyes pinned on the newcomer.

“JARVIS?” Tony tries again, but finds JARVIS’s entire system unresponsive.

“I’m sorry, I was asleep. Or...I was a-dream?” it continues to mumble.

“Reboot…Legionnaire OS, we got a buggy suit,” Tony whispers.

“There was a terrible noise...and I was tangled in... in... _strings_. I had to kill the other guy. He was a good guy.”

Steve takes a step forward. “You killed someone?!”     

“Wouldn't have been my first call. But, down in the real world we're fa - ”

Whatever the thing had to say is suddenly cut off by a metal fist connecting with its head, sending the armor scattering across the floor.

“H-h-how…r-r-ude,” it comments, sparks flying off the faceplate.

It’s intelligent…self-aware. Like JARVIS but this isn’t JARVIS. This is…

“Ultron?” Bruce steals the word from Tony’s tongue.

“I had strings, but now I'm free,” Ultron chimes before Winter slams his arm down, shattering the head to bits. “ _There are no strings on me, no strings on me_ ,” Ultron’s voice sounds through the comms and leaves the room in dead silence.

Hill is the first to speak, gun at the ready. “The hell was _that_?!”

Tony shakes his head, walks up to the destroyed Legionnaire and gives it a slight kick, almost expecting it to come back to life.

Life. That’s what it is, isn’t it? Because Ultron…Ultron _is_ alive. And simply destroying the armor wouldn’t have killed him.

“Is it dead?” Winter asks, knife in his flesh hand and eyes scanning the room.

“No,” Tony breathes out and starts walking to the hallway. “Come with me,” he tells everyone and heads to the lab.

 

 

It doesn’t take him long to find out what exactly happened. They were successful. Bruce and him actually did it – they created Ultron.

Only they didn’t. They were nowhere near creating him. So whatever he is, he must have already existed. Within that stone. And what they added into the mix didn’t have the effect they hoped.

He was supposed to be the protector. The shield around the Earth to save them from what he saw in that vision. But the second Ultron came to life, he took a 101 tour down the internet and decided the best way to protect humankind is to _destroy it_.

Tony can’t say he blames him. The internet was probably not the best thing to wake up to. Not for a newborn artificial intelligence only vaguely tasked with protecting humans.

Intelligence with a mind of its own. _No strings_ …

They needed more time. Ultron wasn’t ready…they weren’t ready. And now…now he’s out there, likely plotting humankind’s mass extinction while they’re stuck here, with nothing to go on.

Everything is gone. The research, the data…and JARVIS. He killed JARVIS. Because of course JARVIS would try and reason with his psycho little brother and instead of sounding the alarm and running for cover, the AI tried to stop Ultron.

And they’re both gone.

“Ultron cleared out, used the internet as an escape hatch,” Bruce says in disbelief, studying the remnants of the data as well.

“Ultron?” Steve frowns.

Natasha nods. “He's been in everything. Files…surveillance. Probably knows more about us than we know about each other.”

Tony only barely listens to the conversation. He stares into the jumbled… _murdered_ mess that once was his first AI and for the moment can’t bring himself to _think_.

First his parents, now JARVIS…what else does this week has in store for him? The end of the world?!

“He said he killed somebody,” Clint’s voice brings him out of the haze.

“There wasn’t anyone else in the building,” Hill answers.

“Yes, there was,” Tony says and brings up the holo-image of JARVIS’s consciousness.

Or whatever’s left of it now.

Bruce takes a few steps towards it, studying it with horror. “This is…insane!”

Steve sighs, glancing at Tony. “JARVIS was the first line of defense. He would've shut Ultron down, it makes sense.”

Bruce frowns, hands flailing. “No, Ultron could've assimilated Jarvis. This isn't strategy, this is...rage.”

Thor returns from his tracking trip – obviously empty handed – and before Tony can react, he finds himself lifted a feet off the ground, the demi-god’s hands around his neck.

 _Okay, not empty handed anymore_.

“Woah, woah, woah! It's going around,” he hears Clint say.

 _Jeez, thanks for the help, Birdbrain_. _Anyone?!_

“Come on. Use your words, buddy,” he goads Thor with the little air left.

“I have more than en - ”

Thor is the second person this night that doesn’t get to finish his sentence, metal fingers snapping around his neck, pushing him backwards. He releases Tony, letting him stumble down on the ground and moves his furious glare to Winter.

The former HYDRA assassin removes his hand but stands right in Thor’s face, firmly placed between him and Tony.

“Enough,” is all Winter says, resolute…intimidating. As if he could take on the God of Thunder if it came down to it.

“Here,” Bruce sneaks around the pair and helps Tony back to his feet.

Tony tries not to dwell too much on the fact that out of a room full of his teammates and friends, only Winter decided to do something about the angry Asgardian trying to suffocate him.

“Thor! The Legionnaire,” Steve breaks up the tense atmosphere and also decides to completely ignore the incident and go straight back to mission report.

 _Thanks for nothing, guys_.

They discuss Ultron and what his possible next move might be until early morning. Tony has a number of ideas, but he’s going to have to do some research first. It’s been a while since he had to do that…alone.

JARVIS was such a constant in his life that he…he doesn’t know what to do now.

He walks around the room, trying to focus on anything other than the terrible pain taking over what remains of his heart, listening to his teammates’ theories, plans…accusations and they have plenty to spare.

Except for Winter. The man says nothing, eyes pinned on the Avengers, his broad frame never quite leaving Tony’s peripheral vision.

No matter where he moves, Winter is right there between him and the rest of the room. A silent gesture. A warning.

 _You’ll have to go through me first_.

And at that moment, it’s the only thing that keeps Tony together enough not to crumble into a thousand pieces nobody could ever fix again.

 

* * *

 

Winter sits in the back of the quinjet and this time, his mind refuses to calm down. The mission should take priority over any other thoughts he has. He should focus. Prepare.

All he can think of is JARVIS. Because JARVIS is _dead_.

He didn’t think that possible. How could someone _murder an AI_?! In his own servers. His own _home_.

Winter doesn’t really understand Ultron. Who he is or why he is acting the way he’s acting. He was supposed to be like JARVIS, just…better. Ultron was created by Tony and Bruce after all. And yet, he turned out nothing like his predecessors. Nothing like his creators. And the first thing he did when he became sentient was viciously murder the competition.

Ultron _murdered_ JARVIS…because even when faced with force way beyond his own abilities to hope stopping, JARVIS tried to protect them. The Tower, the team…himself. And he paid the highest price.

Winter doesn’t understand Ultron…and as he sits here, minutes away from ETA on the African coast where the arms dealer has a base of operation, he decides he doesn’t care to understand him.

He killed JARVIS. He tried to hurt the Avengers. He wants to hurt…everyone. He is no better than HYDRA.

Winter doesn’t enjoy hurting others. He doesn’t enjoy killing, even if it’s the one thing he’s best at. But he will gladly make an exception for Ultron. Just like he does for HYDRA.

“Alright. We’re here,” Tony announces as the jet touches the ground.

“Let’s recap, people,” the Captain walks to the opening hatch, turning back to face them. “Me, Iron Man, Thor, Black Widow and Hawkeye will breech the building, find the vibranium and possibly Ultron as well. Falcon will be our eyes in the sky and possible back-up. Bruce, you’ll stay here. We’re only going to use code Green if absolutely necessary.”

“In other words, if we all get our asses kicked,” Tony adds, the armor wrapping around him.

Rogers sighs, sending a momentary glare at Tony. Winter observed the Captain is strangely offended by…language. “Winter,” he addresses him, very reluctantly. “Find a high ground and cover our exits. If anything tries to escape the place that isn’t us, engage.”

Winter doesn’t like the plan. He wants to go inside. And if Ultron is there, he wants to see his every screw and wire mangled between his metal fingers. But he nods, acknowledging the command. If Ultron tries to run, he will get his shot at vengeance.

The team moves out, heading towards the ship about half a mile away from the landing site.

“You want a lift, man?” Sam hovers above him.

Winter takes in their surroundings. There’s not much to work with in terms of a vantage point. The trees are hardly usable…there are high buildings in the city nearby, but it’s too far away. He needs a place where he can cover both the shipyard and the jet.

The trees will have to do then.

“No. I will make it on foot,” he declines, but nods at the man, hoping it conveys the appreciation of the offer.

“No prob. I’ll let you know if I spot trouble,” Sam says and takes off to the sky.

“Be careful out there,” Bruce speaks into the comms, and looks at him with a nod of his own. It tells Winter everything the doctor wants to say. _Go get the bastard for me, too_.

He returns the gesture and sprints off, reaching his chosen spot in under a minute. It’s not the best but it will do. He climbs up, settles on the branches and readies his rifle.

For the longest time, he just listens to the chatter on the radio as the fight inside the factory goes off. Ultron is there. And he’s not alone. He joined forces with the two enhanced HYDRA agents they encountered in Strucker’s base. No surprise there. Ultron fits right in with HYDRA.

At the end of the day, Winter might get a shot at more than just Ultron but also HYDRA. _Good_.

“ _Sam! We need back-up_!” Rogers commands and Winter watches the Falcon descend into the factory.

He’s not used to being outside of the fight. Especially when he so wants to be in this one. But as always, the mission comes first. Everyone has their part in it and this is his.

Just as he’s adjusting his sights, something bursts out of the ship and crashes into the nearby cargo containers yard. Flash of red, gold and silver. Iron Man and Ultron.

For a moment, he considers leaving his post and joining Tony there. But if anyone can handle fighting Ultron alone, it would be Iron Man. Still…with JARVIS gone…the armor is now being co-operated by another AI Tony has created. The equivalent of a back-up option. With JARVIS, Tony was safe in the armor. JARVIS knew what he was doing. JARVIS could be trusted. This…new AI however cannot.

And he’s…he’s _worried_. Worried that Tony may not be in safe hands anymore. 

Moments later, he spots another flash of crimson moving from the side of the shipyard towards the jet. It’s not the signature red of the Iron Man armor, but Winter’s familiar with it. He caught a glimpse of it just a few days ago in Strucker’s base.

 _Not on my watch you don’t_ , he glares at the moving figure and as silent as ever, he jumps down and moves through the trees back to the jet like a shadow.

“Guys?!” he hears Bruce’s voice, just as the crimson-clad woman approaches the tree line where the jet is.

She hesitates, the two of them staring at each other for a second before she makes a move. It’s not a full-on attack, which means it’s something worse. If she’s not attacking a man that could easily turn green and squish her with two fingers, she must be doing something worse.

Winter doesn’t let her do it for a second longer. He throws the unwieldy gun aside and tackles her to the ground. It startles her enough for Winter to risk a glance towards Bruce, now fallen to his knees and clutching onto his head.

Clearly moments away from turning into the Hulk. They don’t need the Hulk. Who knows what the woman could do with the Hulk if she’s already affecting the doctor like this.

“Bruce!” he calls, catching the man’s attention…his face already stained green. “Don’t go green!”

“ _What?! Who’s turning green?!_ ” Tony’s voice rings through the comm. “ _Brucie-bear! We need you nice and calm, no Hulk time, nah uh!_ ”

Bruce visibly relaxes, taking deep breaths, the green seeping out of his features.

He turns his attention to the struggling woman but before he can do anything, he’s hauled off of her with a huge impact coming from behind him.

“Didn’t see that coming, huh?!”

The second HYDRA agent. He should have seen him coming. But the kid really is fast as he quickly finds out when he stands up, only to be brought down again.

Kid…they both are just that. Kids. Teenagers still, maybe early twenties if he squints…why would teens work with HYDRA?!

Unless it wasn’t voluntary. Winter knows his fair share of how persuasive HYDRA can get if it really wants to. As if the beast ever cared about consent.

He tries intercepting the woman again, seeing she’s back to doing her…magic sort of thing to Bruce, but the man keeps him occupied until the deafening roar of the Hulk echoes on the beach.

The big guy stumbles across the clearing, taking off towards the city and Winter catches the crimson flashes in his eyes. Manipulated. _Controlled_.

Winter growls, managing to intercept the speedy kid’s attack and squares him in the face with his metal fist. He goes down, but it leaves Winter open to the woman who gets close enough to unleash her powers on him.

The same that she used on the Hulk.

“ _Natasha? I could really use a lullaby_!” he hears Tony speak and it momentarily brings him from the terrifying crimson flood that invades his mind.

“ _Well, that's not gonna happen. Not for a while. The whole team is down over here,_ ” Clint answers instead.

“ _Winter?_ ”

The worried call is the last thing he hears before falling into a nightmare, one of HYDRA’s very own making.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update: July 1st
> 
> PS: I've never realized how bothered I was about the whole Thor going all abusive macho on Tony in that one scene until I've watched it about twenty times for this fic's purposes. (Might have something to do with the fact I've never really felt the urge to rewatch this movie much...because ugh...) And it's not even what Thor does, but rather how everyone else reacts - or fails to react.   
> God...let's just forget this move exists, lol :D I know firsthand how easy it is to make characters ooc but this movie is on another level altogether.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to regroup...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! ^^ Hope you're enjoying this lovely summer Sunday - and here's something to hopefully make it even better ;D
> 
> Initially, I didn't plan on going through the AoU events in too much detail. In my outline notes, I even have this lil' sentence under the AoU storyline: _two chapters...if I'm trippin'_  
>  Gotta love it when a plan doesn't come together :D But I blame the numerous re-watches of the movie. I never particularly liked it to begin with, but re-watching it five times for the purposes of this fic made it oh so much worse :D So I thought _fuck it, let's fix this shit up_.  
>  So we are in for two more AoU related chapters, although this one is...less AoU and more WinterIron-ish ^^ Awww-yeeeeeah :3 Hope you're in the mood for some angst coupled up with softness :3
> 
> And let's not forget about HYDRA either, mwuhe ;D
> 
> Enjoy! <3

Tony sees red – and it has nothing and everything to do with that red HYDRA bitch that not only decided to join Ultron but also fuck with the Avengers’ heads and set the Hulk raging free on a city full of unsuspecting civilians.

The night has settled over the supersecret Barton family hideout farm, Laura is cooking them dinner and Tony is still hanging out in the barn, tinkering with the tractor even though it didn’t need fixing in the first place. His brain is flooded with anger and the best way for him to calm down without smashing anything or anyone is focusing on some science. Any science. A tractor has to do.

It doesn’t make any sense. Things not making sense is what infuriates him the most.

There’s only so much one can blame on youthful foolishness when it comes to the two teenagers. The Maximoff twins have plenty to be angry about, plenty to make them act out. And being the majority cause of that anger, Tony understands their call for vengeance.

The treacherous little voice of reason inside his head is telling him that he can’t be blamed for what had happened to them. At least according to his therapist’s philosophy of not blaming the weapon or its maker, but the finger that pulls the trigger. The reasonable part of his brain agrees – since when does he listen to it though? His Merchant of Death days will haunt him till the rest of his life, no matter what anybody tells him. 

The twins have the right to be mad. They want to be mad at Tony? He will let them.

Problem is, if they’re mad at _him_ they have a very strange way of expressing it. Their anger stems from that one single event – weapons killing innocent lives.

His weapons.

And yet the first thing they do is join HYDRA – organization that revels in destroying innocent lives, then Ultron - the guy who’s planning to kill _everyone_ , and then they let the Hulk out, knowing exactly what sort of destruction he could leave behind in that city. 

The word hypocrisy isn’t even enough to describe this turn of events. It’s just plain stupidity. What sort of a person that is in possession of a brain would ever take revenge on someone for killing innocent people…by _killing innocent people_?! The _fuck_?!

One person would probably understand this shit logic. Just one. Their spangled Captain who Tony suspects has lost more than just his wits in the attack.

Everybody is all sorts of shaken by what happened in that damn boat – Thor bailed on them for now altogether, Bruce looked just about ready to start finding ways of killing himself, _again_ ; Sam lost all his usual funky attitude, Natasha was wearing an expression so dark it rivaled the default death glare Winter has in his facial repertoire…and Winter was reduced to a mute, barely responsive mess that just walks, stares and sometimes nods.

Fuck those twins.

Young and no idea what they’re doing? Yeah right. Whatever. That red witch just earned herself a place on his shit list. Fucking with his head is one thing – and the doomsday vision back in Strucker’s base? That was definitely her doing. Fucking with Winter’s head though? That’s it. That’s crossing the line. No, _all_ the lines! Fuck her and her mindfucking magic!

Clint thankfully evaded the attack and Cap looked about as moved as a stationary two hundred ton menhir. He must be totally losing it anyway.

“ _Every time somebody tries ending the war before it starts, innocent people die_.”

If there ever was an award for the stupidest thing ever said, Cap would have won just then. Consecutively. For centuries from then on.

Wasn’t he a god damn soldier?! Fighting in the Second World War?! Which had exactly how many civilian casualties in the end?! Why does Tony – of all people – have to be the one pointing out to the man that innocent people die. All the time.

And especially _in a fucking war_! Innocent people will _always_ die and in a war, they will die by millions! So ending a war before it starts is always fucking worth it!

He throws the wrench on a workbench nearby with enough strength to make it bang loudly in the silence of the barn and scoffs. How can he focus on anything at all when he’s surrounded either by misery or stupidity?! He can’t deal with either right now. Not after this entire week that went from shit to _worse_.

Avengers are a mess, their mighty leader lost his marbles and Ultron is on the loose with a shitton of vibranium and an evil masterplan to destroy humanity. Tony needs a week off after this. Or a year.

Or forever.

He’s not getting any younger and he can only deal with so many brainless people and their shit before he loses it.

A rustle of dry grass startles him, making him whirl around to meet the intruder with a screwdriver he plunges out of the tractor’s engine.

“S’rry,” is the first slur of letters that comes out of Winter’s mouth since the mission.

Instead of floating through the shadows, silent and unseen like he oh so loves to do, he shuffles into the barn through the side door, stopping immediately when Tony alerts to him.

Tony’s yet to decide what that look on his face is. A lot’s been happening in terms of new expressions for Winter. Lot less glaring and staring, more subtle mimicry and even smiling. This look is however definitely a regression. His eyes are widened in an unsettling, permanent way and they’re travelling around the room as if waiting for something unseen to jump out at him at any moment.

His fingers are curled into fists, shaking ever so slightly and his steps clearly lost their ninja confidence. Nobody would guess this to be the feared Winter Soldier right now.

“Hey, Snowflake,” he greets him softly, trying to banish the thoughts of murdering the red witch in cold blood on sight.

His gaze keeps flicking all over the room, avoiding Tony altogether.

“Is the dinner ready? Or are you just evading Fury and his inquisitive brow of doom?” he asks conversationally, even if he doesn’t expect to get many more words out of the utterly lost former assassin.

He shakes his head, itching back against the wall.

And just like that, it clicks in Tony’s wrecked brain.

Sighing, he raises his hands in a harmless manner and walks over and around the jittery man, closing the door. “Come on, come sit over here,” he suggests, sitting on a nearby stack of hay.

It’s as far from a chair as anything comfortable for sitting can get. Which might be the only reason why Winter shuffles to him and actually sits down, shoulders tense and fingers firmly squeezing the pants’ fabric over his thighs. Tony props his elbows on his knees and gives him a side glance.

“Somethin’ on your mind, Snowflake? If not, that’s cool,” he adds when Winter remains silent. “You know I’m the master of awkward silences. Mostly because I never let them get that far – I just talk over them like it’s nobody’s business. Pfffft…awkward silences. My broken brain to mouth filter is their worst nightmare. It’s the reason why I could never attend sermons at church. The priest would prompt us to pray for a minute in silence and I’d just talk through it. I’m not even making that up, I actually went to church once as a kid and we were supposed to do some Hail Mary’s in silence and I just started rambling aloud about homework instead. Jarvis was more amused than I expected, but even he thought it would be for the best if I didn’t attend again for a while. There was this old lady there that looked ready to smother me and send me to hell. Needless to say, I didn’t atte - ”

He's cut off by a sniffle coming from the assassin and with a glance to his left, he confirms the trails of tears sliding down his face. Rambling through awkward silences is his forte. Crying…not so much. Courtesy of his daddy-dearest.

Stark men are strong. Tears are weak. Stark men don’t cry. The story of his childhood. In a nutshell. In a haiku, even.

And despite that harsh lesson, Tony cried his first night at MIT. He cried when his parents died. Cried when Jarvis died. When he spotted Rhodey in that heat of the desert running up to him. When he found Pepper betrayed him. And he cried when he found it was HYDRA that killed his parents, not his father’s drunken, erratic driving. For a Stark, he cried a lot. Howard would be disappointed.

Tony doesn’t care what Howard would think. He hasn’t cared for a long time. Truth be told, he could cry right about now as well.

“Winter?” he breathes out, gentle and quiet as if not to scare the weeping man.

“I talked to him,” Winter whispers back.

He frowns, shifting a little to have a better view of him. “Talked to who?”

“JARVIS,” he sniffles again, eyes focused on his hands. “When something was on my mind.”

“Oh,” is all he manages when Winter’s words register with him. He almost forgot JARVIS was Winter’s go to person to talk about stuff.

And JARVIS is gone now. Which leaves them both quite…alone. Now he really wants to cry.

FRIDAY can take over JARVIS’s functionality even if she’s still an AI in diapers…but she can never actually be JARVIS.

“Well, you can always talk to me. Or Bruce, he’s really good at listening and gives the best advice.”

Winter just nods, head tilting to the side. “I don’t want to talk about it. It has already felt real enough,” he adds with a shrug, letting the tears flow without a care in the world.

Tony gets that. Talking helps sometimes…other times, there are things better left unsaid. Because saying them out loud feels like breathing life into them…making them real. Whatever nightmare the witch let him plunge into is better kept that way – a nightmare. Nothing more.

It’s easily said than done, remembering what he saw in his vision. He knows it wasn’t real now. But at the same time there was some truth in it. It might as well become real one day when the aliens come back – and they will.

Now if he only knew what to do with a grieving, frightened supersoldier. Any other day he would call Bruce for reinforcements but today Bruce is among those in need of a serious hug. No need to burden the good doctor with any more problems, he’s got plenty of his own as is.

Focusing on work helps him. Maybe focusing on the mission at hand would help Winter.

Tony places a careful hand on Winter’s white-knuckled fist still tightly gripping the pants. A simple touch. A comfort that he doesn’t expect Winter to understand. “We’ll deal with Ultron. Make him pay for what he’s done. And the twins too.”

Winter’s haunted, puffy eyes inspect Tony’s hand on his with a tiny frown. He unclenches the fists, giving a small nod. “Okay,” he mumbles, shifting closer to Tony, metal fingers hesitantly covering their hands.

Now it’s Tony’s turn to stare at the intertwined limbs with confusion.

He was wrong.

Maybe Winter _does_ understand and if that alone isn’t a small miracle than nothing is. Every day the man is making his own choices, far, far away from the torturous grip of HYDRA, he evolves. And surprises Tony with every baby step to humanity he makes.

Like not only accepting a comforting touch, but offering it right back.

For some reason, that’s the last straw for Tony so he blinks the welled-up tears away, letting them run free down his cheeks. He doesn’t know what possesses him just then to reach out with his free hand to gently wipe the other man’s tears away and smoothing a loose strand of his wild hair behind his ear, but he does just that.

And Winter lets him.

Winter, who’s always counting exits whenever he enters a room. Winter, who keeps a five feet distance between himself and everyone else even if it means standing outside or taking the stairs rather than the elevator. Winter, who believed Eggs-Benedict with spicy butter toasts is the best food on the planet because he didn’t have anything else to compare it to.

Winter, who allows himself to sit here knees to knees with Tony, holding hands and lets his face be touched without a flinch even though the only touch he’s ever received only ever came in tandem with pain and torture.

“C’mere,” he tugs at his head but instead of going for what would in their position be a very awkward hug, he shuffles back a little, leaning against a stack of hay behind him and pulling the slightly confused but compliant supersoldier along with him and down, laying his head into his lap. “It’s okay,” he runs his now free left hand across the exposed metal arm and just like that, the tension in Winter’s shoulders eases away.

Winter shifts where he lies on his side to get more comfortable, bringing his knees up into a fetal position and pressing a metal palm over Tony’s knee as if to maintain the contact.

So he does the same, letting his left hand limply pressed against his belly just underneath the metal elbow and the fingers of his right hand comb through Winter’s hair as far as the manbun he now wears on default allows him to.

Tony doesn’t know what to make of this development. So he just goes with it without unnecessary questions. He has no idea what to say either. So he doesn’t say anything.

It feels right.

And it’s been a while since anything felt right in any way for him. This…them just like this, sharing simple, innocent comfort while allowing each other to be as vulnerable as they need for this one quiet moment before they have to stand up and face another battle and another war…it feels right.

So they stay there, holding onto each other for dear life while silent tears run down their faces until Clint calls out for them to join dinner. And when they show up in the crowded kitchen, Tony’s mind is no longer in such a chaos and Winter’s haunted face is back to its grumpy default.

 

* * *

 

 

Pierce slips into the office of his contact, pacing around the fancy, neat space. It’s just minutes before 6AM and unless something has changed in the past twenty years, the man is going to be here any moment now.

Waking up at the ass crack of dawn seems to be a thing with wealthy businessmen. He read about it somewhere, how going to sleep late and waking up early is the key in a successful business career. Then again, according to a different study only sleeping for a few hours a day can be damaging to your health and _then another study_ says sleeping too much is also bad.

Fucking studies. Thank god he doesn’t pay taxes or else he’d be more than furious to see what garbage his money is paying for.

He sits down into the rather comfortable office chair and quietly admires the spacious room flooded with first rays of morning sunshine. Just as he expected, the wait is over before it really starts.

Dressed to the nines, beard trimmed and a scheming glint ignited in his traitorous eyes, Obadiah Stane waltzes inside the office, closing the door and only then noticing he has company.

“Are you insane?!” he greets him, teeth gritted and voice low. He stomps to the desk, throwing his briefcase on it and towers over Pierce. “Your face is all over the news – _and_ the internet – along with your little club’s minions! You can’t be seen around here! If someone recognizes you I’m done for!”

Pierce smirks, inspecting Stane’s designer pen laying on the desk. “I almost forgot how you love making everything about yourself, Stane. No matter what is happening, the first thing on your mind is how it’s going to affect _you_. I can get behind that,” he shrugs, scribbling down some nonsense on the likely very important folder.

Stane snatches it from underneath his fingers and throws it to his inbox. “Just because you are inapt and can’t keep all your shady business a secret doesn’t mean you have to be all salty about it and come here to possibly expose _my_ shady business.”

“Careful there, Stane. I enjoy your occasional usefulness, resourcefulness and even your brisk sarcasm, but be careful,” he gives the man a warning glare. “No need to get all worked up. This is a strictly business visit – a short one.”

Stane breathes out, leaning against the side of the desk. “Go on then, before my secretary arrives.”

“HYDRA is going to take a little break now…let the wave of publicity wash over first before making any further moves. In the meantime, we are going to try and deal with a number of…liabilities.”

“Uhuh. I thought that’s what Project Insight was about – dealing with liabilities once and for all, making way for HYDRA’s new order and future…from what I’m hearing, that plan crashed and burned. Almost literally.”

“It was an unexpected turn of events.”

Stane chuckles. “You really expected Rogers to sit this one out? Or join you, even?”

“Rogers is the least of our worries. Tell me, Stane, do you remember the Winter Soldier?” he asks, watching Stane’s smile freeze. “Of course you do. He was a vital part of that mission you sponsored back in the nineties. The one that made you into the man you are now?”

Stane glares at him. “Right. As if I was the lone mastermind behind it. I remember HYDRA jumped right at the opportunity to get rid of Howard and was more than happy to send their best assassin to see it through.”

“Yes…and now said assassin is fighting alongside the Avengers.”

The man widens his eyes a little, cursing under his breath. “So not only are you jeopardizing my position here by letting all those secret files get onto the internet for anyone to decipher but you lose the only person other than you that can connect me to that accident?! And you lose him to the Avengers?! He can recognize me!”

Pierce stops the incoming hysterical outburst with a raised hand, rolling his eyes. “You and every person he’s ever met during his HYDRA career. But you’re lucky,” he smirks wide. “Since I bothered to come here and warn you that the next time you go visit your dearest darling ward, you might want to reconsider.”

“Well isn’t that just great! What am I supposed to tell him? Sorry, Tony, I can’t come because the guy I dispatched to murder your parents is there and can blow my cover?!”

“Which brings me to why I’m here. Your _Tony_ problem would have been a thing of the past if Insight was a success. As it is, both our problems are still at large and currently sharing the same living space. I tried disrupting the new dynamic a little, but clearly I have underestimated Stark’s…generosity. Point being, we should join forces. You know Stark better than anyone affiliated with us and the Soldier is our specialty. I’m sure together we can find a way to deal with the two of them, permanently?”

A grin splits Stane’s face. “What do you have in mind?”

“Nothing specific yet. We are still regrouping, but I will get in touch again soon. Until then, your only mission is to not get caught. I don’t care what excuses you make. Just don’t let the Soldier see you anywhere near the Avengers Tower.”

“I can do that. Whatever this plan is going to be? It better work this time. Or I swear I’ll just shoot Stark on the side of the street myself.”

Pierce gets up, leaving a non-descriptive black card on the desk. “Patience, friend. Wait for further contact,” he instructs.

Stane nods, picking the card up. “Hail Hydra.”

“Hail Hydra.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Update: June 22nd
> 
> ...I hope :D I've been kinda sick this week, so I didn't get any writing done and I have this glaring issue with that big shining thing in the sky? The Sun? Like...chill out, Sun! How can I focus on writing when I'm being toasted alive, dude! Whenever it gets over 25 degrees outside or worse - in a room, my brain just shuts down and it tells the body to do nothing. Thanks brain. Thanks Sun. I really need to move somewhere even more north :D
> 
> ...guess I really am a Winter person :D


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter meets Vision, Ultron is defeated and an important decision made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! ^^
> 
> And whoopsies! Looks like AO3 and my dearest Firefox are still at odds because everytime I upload or update stuff, one of them funk out and fail to do it :'D Aaaaand since I'm a goof, I didn't check if this chapter went up right aaaand of course it didn't :D So here, a belated Sunday update, yaaaay! ^^
> 
> Time for some serious Winter.
> 
> Enjoy! <3

Winter’s need to run has never been as strong as in the past few days. To run and keep on running, never to stop, never to rest. There’s only so much he can deal with at once when everything seems to be out to get him as of late.

When he was staying with HYDRA, he knew what to expect. He understood their game. Nothing was lurking in the shadows waiting to jump out and surprise him.

It’s different with the Avengers.

Everything is new and confusing and it keeps on changing on the go. Add HYDRA’s apparent effort to sabotage or straight up get rid of him plus the very sentient robot bent on the destruction of humanity and Winter is no longer sure of anything in his life at the moment.

The witch unleashed years of torture, pain and unwanted emotions he kept buried in his memories so well until now that it made him useless for almost a day. And if there’s anything he fears more than having to serve HYDRA ever again against his will, it’s losing control. Especially in the middle of a mission.

So he shifts his focus back on the task at hand. HYDRA’s training methods were ruthless but effective, so after leaving the farm he snaps back to mission mode and refuses to emerge from it.

For good reasons as it turns out.

After giving chase in the streets of Seoul, getting Ultron’s intended body and foiling his plans while losing Black Widow in the process, the HYDRA twins show up again suddenly talking about joining forces – in stopping Ultron…and in stopping Tony.

That’s about the last straw for Winter and if Hawkeye and the Captain didn’t block him, he would have both their heads in seconds, super speed and magic be damned.

So he finds himself in the middle of a dispute initiated by known and voluntary HYDRA operatives back in the Tower; Tony and his plan to finish Ultron’s work using JARVIS’s coding on one side, Captain America and…absolutely no plan other than stopping Tony’s plan on the other.

It’s a situation exactly like this one that makes Winter doubt his decision to join the Avengers in the first place. Individually, they are all very capable and fearsome but as a team they just don’t work out that well. And if Winter were to blame anyone or anything, it would be the questionable leadership executed by the Captain.

The moment he decided to listen to the twins rather than give his teammate and supposed friend the benefit of the doubt first, Winter lost any trust he’s had in the man. And as he’s forced to step in to intercept the shield Rogers casually hauls at the engineer, Winter doubts he’ll ever have any trust to spare in regards to him.

 

So this is where he finds himself – lurking in dark corridors surrounding the labs, just hours after Thor returned in the sparkly show of lightning and power, bringing Tony’s project to life no matter what arguments against it anyone had.

There’s a battle to be fought come dawn and nobody in the Tower seems to be resting.

He checked. Of course he checked.

Without JARVIS, the Tower is not secure. And now there are two HYDRA agents freely moving about as if they haven’t caused deadly chaos just a day ago. Winter wouldn’t fall asleep even if he was dying of exhaustion. Not with HYDRA slithering just few floors above his.

Tony and Bruce decided to spend their time waiting for the assemble call in the lab, so that’s where he’s going to be. Not inside, no. No need to disrupt the two scientists’ work with his patrolling presence. He can very well do that outside in the hallways. Within earshot and seconds from being able to barge in and deal with any threat that arises.

Lurking. Unheard. Unseen. Un-

“Why am I not surprised.”

Winter snaps around, coming face to face with…with Vision, somehow coming straight out of the wall behind him.

“Oh. I startled you. I apologize,” he floats around him and into the open. “Perhaps I should use the doors from now on…although I must admit this is rather…intriguing,” he says, running his hand through the wall and observing it with curiosity not unlike Winter’s own at the moment.

The robotic man’s presence isn’t what startles Winter the most. It’s the voice. It’s _JARVIS’s_ voice. The manner in which he speaks is so familiar because of that and it leaves Winter pondering the man’s existence. Everyone seems to be confused or unsettled by it, but Winter understands. It might as well be the first time he actually understands something without anyone needing to explain it to him.

Vision is not JARVIS – as much as Tony and even Winter would want him to be. And he isn’t Ultron – as the Captain and some of the other Avengers fear him to be. Vision was born of the two, a combination of them and at the same time a brand new and different person. He is them and at the same time he’s neither of them.

Vision is Vision. Just like Winter is Winter.

“Intriguing…yes,” Winter agrees, not at all bothered by being caught staring at the rob…the android, that’s what Tony called him. “What did you mean?” he asks, eyes flickering to their quiet surroundings to remain alert to danger.

“What did I mean?” Vision repeats with a frown.

“You said you weren’t surprised. What did you mean?”

“Ah,” he nods, lowering his gaze in thought. “To be quite honest, I am not entirely sure. For some reason I just thought your presence here is…not surprising. Given the circumstances?” he adds with uncertainty, looking back up at him. “As I recall you have a tendency of…going on patrols when you feel danger is imminent. Be it to yourself or others.”

That is most definitely true. JARVIS has caught him ‘patrolling’ around the Tower many times since he’s come to live here. Especially after intercepting an unsuspecting Hawkeye in the common room vents one night.

Not that Winter believed him to be a threat – he might have actually enjoyed scaring the spy to the point he’s almost given himself a concussion the way he jerked his head against the metal casing.

JARVIS sounded rather amused himself. But that was _JARVIS_.

Vision has clearly retained the memories of both JARVIS and ULTRON, making him different from Winter after all, if only a little bit. Most often than not, Winter is glad for not having clear memories from the Soldier and Barnes. The little he does have plus the hazy flashbacks he occasionally witnesses in dreams…or nightmares…are enough to deal with as is.

“You remember everything then?” Winter gives in to the curiosity.

“I suppose. It’s…strange. The things I… _remember_. JARVIS and Ultron are both unique in this regard and they both… _remember_ …differently. I mean…their memory works in different ways. I do not know how to explain it,” he sighs, the frown returning to his nonexistent brows. “And the memories don’t exactly feel like _my_ memories. I’m not sure I understand that feeling either.”

Winter shrugs, the answer not at all confusing him. He never refers to Barnes’s or the Soldier’s memories as his own. Because they’re not. They don’t feel like they are, exactly as Vision says. “I understand.”

There’s an upward tug in the corners of Vision’s lips and the android’s unseemly expressive face turns amused. “Why, I must admit this is the first time you understand something while others seem to struggle to. Or should I say second time? JARVIS never quite understood the concept of having a physical body, no matter how accurate his own interpretation was. You challenged a lot in terms of his understanding of…being alive. He,” Vision pauses, lips curving into an actual, small smile. “He enjoyed that.”

 _Enjoyed_. In the past. Because JARVIS is dead. No matter how much of him survives in Vision now.

The android in question must pick up on the sudden, yet subtle mood change and floats a little to the side, the movement catching Winter’s attention. “My apologies. I am speaking of JARVIS so freely while you all mourn his…death? The closest equivalent of it, I imagine. I shouldn’t - ”

“You sound like him,” Winter blurts out, stopping what sounds like an apology that makes no sense to Winter anyway. “Like JARVIS.”

“My vocal and language properties had been entirely synthesized from JARVIS’s own, yes. Ah. I see. I…must admit I haven’t thought of that. Now I understand the strange look Mr. Stark gives me every time I speak. Perhaps I could somehow change it to - ”

“No. Don’t,” Winter interrupts him again because yes…it is strange to hear JARVIS while looking at Vision. For Tony, most of all. The sullen expression the engineer hides so well spoke volumes. But should Vision change his voice just for that reason alone, Winter has a feeling it wouldn’t help anything in the least.

Strange…maybe. But there’s something comforting about hearing that voice. Even if it isn’t JARVIS’s anymore. Vision was born of the best of JARVIS and if there is anyone worthy of wielding the AI’s voice, it would be him.

“Very well,” Vision gives him a little bow and glances around at the lab. “I see our resident scientists are in good hands tonight. I shall leave you in peace then, continue your patrol.”

Winter nods, watching the android float away and through the ceiling up.

 

He spends the rest of the night in the corridor, focused on any sounds out of the ordinary but all he can hear is the occasional chatter from inside the lab. Looks like the HYDRA twins intend to keep their words – this night anyway.

Come morning, the atmosphere in the quinjet is tense and everyone’s mind is set on the battle ahead. It’s not a long battle though. Once Colonel Rhodes descends out of nowhere with three helicarriers behind him, the Avengers shift their focus on Ultron while SHIELD handles the evac of the citizens and from there on, it’s fast.

Winter decides to utilize his deadly precision as opposed to close combat – the setting is perfect for a sniper, so he camps up on the highest building he finds and picks the former Iron Legion soldiers out of their swarm one by one, while also keeping a close eye on the twins. Not for their safety, but the Avengers’. Or so he tells himself, no matter how many robots taking aim at the two operatives he shoots down before they can do any harm.

For just this moment, the real enemy is Ultron.

Even when the evac is complete and Sokovia plummets in pieces to the sea below, Winter remains on high alert until Vision floats in with an unreadable expression and simply tells them: “Ultron is dead.”

And while the Avengers celebrate the victory, Winter distances himself into the corner of what looks like the helicarrier’s storage room and briefly observes the team. Bruised, battered and tired but nobody is dead. Doctor Bruce isn’t with them but the Hulk surely kept him safe.

He stays hidden in the shadows there until they are back at the Tower where he first makes sure the twins are taken by SHIELD further away with the civilians and then he slips away to his floor and stays curled up in the shower until late at night, the water running cold and his unsteady mind numb.

 

 

“What do you mean you’re not staying to train in the Compound?!” Clint blurts out at him, oatmeal flying everywhere.

Winter probably shouldn’t have brought it up during breakfast.

“We’re all moving in there,” Natasha comments, fiddling absentmindedly with her coffee. She never drinks coffee…does she?

“You can all still live here by the way,” Tony pitches in, waiting for his own coffee to brew. “I just thought moving the Avengers HQ out of the city would be a good idea. You know…no need to make a big-ass target for all the villains right in the middle of New York. The Compound is nice and out of the way of any civilian areas and it’s fully equipped to serve the team’s purposes, so…”

He nods, straightening up where he stands next to the table. “I am still not staying there.”

“You don’t have to stay there, but the team will have daily training sessions there from now on so you can just drop by for those,” the Captain explains and Winter considers ignoring him altogether for a moment.

“I will not.”

That makes even Tony turn away from his coffee and frown. “What’s up with that, Winter Wonder? We’re just…changing the gym, that’s all.”

He gives the engineer a pointed look, hoping he will somehow understand his point, but the frown only deepens.

“Hey now, do whatever you want but it’s going to be really difficult for you to train with the team…if you’re not there. To train with the team,” Tony adds.

“What team?” he retorts in absolute seriousness.

Because really, _what team_? The Avengers may call themselves a team, but the concept of it escapes most of them. Doctor Bruce is still missing. Thor is leaving to Asgard for what may possibly be a very long time. Tony doesn’t intend to be an active part of the team anymore and Clint wants to spend more time with his family and will only join if called upon.

Which leaves little to be desired.

Black Widow and Falcon he could deal with. Colonel Rhodes becoming an official part of the team is a good idea too and maybe he could get used to Vision over time as well.

What he will most definitely not ever accept is teaming up with the twins, under Captain America’s leadership.

Even if it means leaving the team and hunting HYDRA down all on his own. He’s been trained to fight and survive alone so he will manage. Maybe he won’t bring the entire organization down, but he is going to sabotage them enough to make a difference before he ultimately fails and…dies before falling into their hands again.

The thought of working with the Avengers to bring HYDRA down was a good plan once upon a time. But that was before he had a front row seat to how broken the team is and how defectively it operates. And now there’s HYDRA _in the team_. So that’s it. How can he fight HYDRA with teammates that willingly hailed it just few days ago?

He can’t and he won’t.

The Captain sighs, putting away his half-eaten plate of scrambled eggs. “If you have something to say then say it. Didn’t you want to be a part of this team? And now you’re - ”

“And now I am saying I don’t want to be a part of it anymore.”

“Well, maybe you should make up your mind then?” Rogers glares at him.

“Hold on, don’t…,” Tony comes forward waving the Captain off, “…be you for a minute, Cap. What’s going on?” he focuses on Winter instead.

He wishes there’d be a simple answer for that. Although maybe there is. “I joined you so we could fight HYDRA together. Now you invited HYDRA into the team, so I believe that is my cue to leave.”

“You’re talking about the twins?!” Rogers asks, eyes widening almost comically.

“Unless there are more HYDRA operatives you accepted to the team that I do not know about?” he finds himself replying, startling an unexpected chuckle out of Tony.

“What?” Tony looks at them, crossing his arms. “The man’s got a point.”

“They’re kids!” Rogers argues. “And here I thought we were all about giving second chances – since we accepted _you_ into the team,” he returns his fiery gaze back to Winter and this time he returns it a thousand fold.

“Steve,” Natasha places a hand on the supersoldier’s forearm, her voice ringing clear with warning. As well as it should. Black Widow understands a threat when she sees one.

“They joined HYDRA by their own free will,” he says, the words coming out like a low and steady growl. “Young or not, they made a choice.”

“Sometimes, you find yourself in a situation where you don’t h - ”

“There is always a choice,” he doesn’t let the Captain finish. “And they made the wrong one. As we all do sometimes. Maybe…maybe they deserve a second chance as you say. But I don’t trust them. I can’t be distracted by their presence on the field with lives at stake.”

“Okay. I understand. So perhaps we could - ”

“And I don’t trust you,” he adds, erasing all words and thoughts off of the Captain’s mind. “I can’t follow orders of someone I don’t trust either.”

“Buc – Winter, listen,” the man begins, but Winter has already decided. And if he hadn’t, the tiny slip at the beginning there would have sealed the deal for sure.

“I have listened my entire life - to people exactly like you and I swore to myself I never would again. Not when I have a choice. So I choose not to be in the team anymore.”

Rogers takes a breath like he’s about to say something, but Winter is already at the door by then, walking out and to the elevator, ignoring the Captain’s call for him – authoritative, angry…malicious. He’s heard enough of that tone with his Handlers.

Now he has a choice. He _does_ have a choice. He has –

“Whoa whoa whoa, stop for a second there, Snowflake!” Tony sprints into the elevator right after him.

 _Does_ he have a choice? Tony thought him he does and always will. But if the engineer tries to talk him out of his decision…then…it’s all been a lie. Everything. Everything he’s learnt and experienced and thought was possible outside of HYDRA would be a lie.

“I am not changing my mind,” he says, hoping the statement would deter the only person in this building he knows he can still trust right now from shattering that trust in pieces.

Tony’s eyebrows skyrocket as he regards him with a confused look. “Uhhh…I don’t expect you to. I’m just making sure you aren’t going down to your room, packing up and disappearing into the rush of the city or something.”

“What?” he blurts out, the confusion enough to reduce him to one word sentences.

“Don’t give me that look, because I _know_ that look. You don’t want to play Avengers with the cool new kids that’s fine with me…I don’t care. That doesn’t mean you have to leave and it sure as hell doesn’t mean we’re not gonna help you going after HYDRA.”

Winter has to stop and think about that for a second if only to make sure it means exactly what he thinks it means. “Oh.”

“Yeah. _Oh_ ,” Tony rolls his eyes, a tiny smile playing his lips.

“ _Where to, boss_?” the new AI…FRIDAY…asks, startling Winter the same way JARVIS used at first.

He hadn’t spoken a word to her since Tony installed her to the Tower’s interface yesterday. She’s not JARVIS. She won’t understand him. She can’t be trusted.

“Me? The lab. I’ve got stuff to do. Winter?” he asks while the elevator starts going down.

Where does he want to go? Just a minute ago, he was planning on doing exactly what Tony suggested – packing his stuff and making a run for it. But if he can stay…and continue the fight even without being an Avenger…

“Winter?”

“I can’t stay here. Not with the twins.”

“Duh! You think I want to have them in my home? Cap might be right about giving them a second chance, but he better not expect me to have the same person that messed with my and everybody else’s head for funsies and then sent the Hulk raging on a city full of panicking civies under the same roof when I sleep at night. Not that I sleep much but that’s beside the point. I promised Bruce he would always find a safe haven in here and what kind of a haven would it be with her prowling around? I don’t know what to make of her little brother but neither of them looked very apologetic when I saw them yesterday at the Compound so…it’s probably for the best.”

“What if the Captain insists?” Winter wouldn’t put it past the man to demand granting the twins access to the Tower.

“Then _he_ can pack his stuff and go insist on it somewhere else. The last time I checked, I built this place all my lonesome so I get to decide who stays here and who most definitely doesn’t!”

“So…”

“So? You can stay here and continue your plots against the evil dudes without having to worry about the new members of the team. Wait, uhm. You might kinda worry about Vision? He apparently really loves phasing through walls and - ”

“I have noticed, yes. I don’t mind him,” he shrugs.

Tony breathes out a sigh of relief and his smile widens. “Good. That’s…good. He’ll be happy to hear that. Anyway, this is my stop,” he jumps out of the elevator when the doors suddenly open, even though it has stopped moving a while ago. “Fri? You make sure you take this gentleman where he wants to go, yeah?”

“ _Sure thing, boss. Where do you want to go, Winter? The weather is really nice in Copenhagen this morning. Not so much in Barcelona, there are thunderstorms approaching and in Sydney, the heat exceeds_ \- ”

“FRIDAY? I meant _in the Tower_. Or anywhere else if you’re up for sightseeing in Copenhagen, then by all means fire up the jet,” Tony offers with a wink.

“ _Oh_ ,” FRIDAY replies in the same _oh_ kind of way Winter did just moments ago and for some reason it makes him crack the tiniest of smiles.

“Fri is fascinated by weather forecast channels. Don’t ask me why, she just does so…bear with her. She’s still a youngling after all.”

“ _Thanks, boss. That makes at least one of us_.”

“Ouch. Hit the brakes with the sass, girl. I hate their teenage years,” Tony chuckles and backs away further into the empty hallway. “See ya later?”

Winter finds himself nodding, the smile somewhat impossible to get rid of. “Sure.”

“Alrighty,” Tony flashes a thumbs up at him and dances away towards his lab.

Winter lingers in there a while longer, his mind finally settling down after so long. He might have lost a team, but he didn’t lose everything that actually counts. Tony. His home.

 _Home_.

“My floor, please….FRIDAY?” he requests, pondering the strange discovery.

“ _Very well_. _Although Copenhagen really looks nice today_ ,” she adds and perhaps he shall give this new AI a chance after all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update: September 9th ! (UPDATE: After a plotbunny attack, I was 'forced' to revise the events in the upcoming chapters a little and have to rewrite it accordingly + I will be out of country for the entire W33 enjoying some much needed chill - literally a chill, or at least I hope Britain won't be a burning hell in two weeks' time - but after that, get ready for the plot to drop down harder than Bruce did into the Sanctum's stairs! ^^)
> 
> Fiiiiiiiiiiiiinally we're done with AoU! *phew* Thank god...I never want to deal with that movie, ever :D Now we're onto the quiet before the dun dun DUUUUUUN! Civil War ^^ Which is the endgame here, after all :3
> 
> ...and did I just let Pietro live?!!?!!!!!?!?!?!!?!? Jesus! Who wrote this chapter?! :D Oh well...guess I have more evil plans for the twins...and since Pietro didn't really do much in the movie to begin with (lol, I mean seriously, check the movie...all he did was save Clint and the kid, goof off with Mjolnir and drop in a one liner; that's it...what a waste), I'm keeping him as a wild card ^^ Because his what's-her-name sister has no quarter with me *mwuhehe*

**Author's Note:**

> Will be updating on Sundays, likely every other week.


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